There is only one sure-fire method, fire. Apply liberally to the infected area.
Have you been able to determine the ethnicity, religion, or sign of the ghosts in question? It may help when deducing the appropriate response.
Is this an oriental or occidental ghost? This matters. Japanese ghosts at least are usually no Casper. Typically they are the manifestation of extreme sorrow and rage. They are relentless, indiscriminate killing machines. Contact your local shinto priest/Buddhist monk, or, better yet, just run the hell away. Of course, it might just follow you… Best of luck!
(Note: I personally don’t believe in this stuff, but I’m open to the possibility. At the very least, certain places do give off bad mojo and WhyNot’s cleansing ritual seems to me like a wonderful and practical idea in this instance. Whether your house is possessed or not, it will give you a feeling of ownership of your space.)
Well, there’s nuking them from orbit. That’s one way be be sure.
might want to start with bleach or something…
Who you gonna call? Ivo Shandor!
Say Betelgeuse three times. Wait, no, that’s not right. Scratch that.
Candyman…
The more I think of this, the more confused I am as to why someone would think they had the right to disturb spirits.
It might be “smoke ghosts”.
Do you see or hear strange things? Do the ghosts make you dizzy or confused? Do you feel any fatigue, pressure, or headaches when they’re around? Smoke ghosts can do any of those things and cause you great harm over time.
They like the heat, so they usually live in fireplaces and fuel-burning appliances.
Luckily, you can tell if you have smoke ghosts with a standard carbon monoxide detector. If the alarm goes off, call your local fire department or gas company and tell them your CO detector found smoke ghosts. They’ll come out immediately with a portable ghost detector and figure out exactly where they live. Then you can get rid of them by either replacing the haunted appliance or improving ventilation so they get pushed outside.
I would take this a step further and try to get people to realize that an infestation of humans in a ghost’s home is a ghost’s worst nightmare.
I see thread after thread asking for advice on how to get rid of the humans.
I’d just spray one of those bathroom air fresheners, and leave it at that.
[Mod Note]What you need is a better worded OP, since you didn’t indicate that only believers in ghosts should reply. Either I leave it wide open, or we can restrict it to the true believers. Your choice.[/Mod Note]
How much do we know about ghosts anyway? What is their natural habitat? What is their conservation status? Do we even know how many species there are?
A whole lot more research needs to be done before people can just wantonly run a potentially endangered species out of it’s home. If you had pandas in your garden you wouldn’t be so cavalier about the possibility of exterminating them, would you? It’s because the pandas are fuzzy isn’t it? #@&$#% charismatic megafauna.
Clearly ghost rights will never be respected until they get some elected representation, much like the undead have with John McCain.
Well, some priests of various faiths will do them for you. Neo-pagans or Wiccans are often quite helpful about this. Many other, more “orthodox” faiths, will “bless” your house.
Do you belong to any faith?
That’s the real problem with drunk posting, as I was too lazy to phrase myself carefully. Sorry about that. This was written largely tongue in cheek. I don’t believe in ghosts, but previous inhabitants of my house have said that it’s haunted. I figured I’d get some real ghost rituals from people who have claimed to raise them, and give it a shot, because why not, really? I’m here over christmas with not much else to do. So non-believers can joke all they want, because I’m not serious about it myself. I just figured I’d take a crack at it.
As for information that might help people give me the advice I need: I live in Japan, where there aren’t a whole lot of christian priests around to help me with this. I do know a shinto priestess, but I’d rather try this myself if at all possible. I don’t think the ghost(s) is malevolent, because I figure I’d have had some problems in the last few years, and I’ve had none. I don’t know what other information I can provide for you, so if you have questions about specific circumstances I’ll do my best to answer them.
Oh, and my house really is scheduled for demolition in 2012. Japan doesn’t like “old” houses (read: more than 30 years or so), so they’re destroying this one and putting up another in its place. Fortunately in the sticks, they’ve been building these things out of newspaper and gum, so it’s not that hard to take one down. I just don’t know that it’ll be much of an improvement.
@WhyNot, I don’t want to cleanse them if they’re just hanging out here not causing trouble, but if it turns out badly maybe I can use some of that.
@villa, how do you know they’re being disturbed? Maybe they’d be in the mood for a chat if someone properly communicated a “what’s up” to them.
Acid Lamp’s mouse sacrifice seems promising, but maybe a bit troublesome. I wonder if the ghost would take a cockroach instead. And Dr. Drake’s methods also seem like an avenue, but I don’t know that Japanese ghosts go in for deities much. And a ouiji board might be difficult-- never thought I’d be having language barriers with ghosts!
Anyway, if I die in strange circumstances (and Autolycus will read about it in the papers because he lives near me now), you’ll all know that ghosts got me. And that they framed me to make it look like autoerotic asphyxiation.
ETA: And I’m not religious, so if that’s a requirement I’m hosed.
No restrictions, then, except to please try to stay on topic.
Plus clean floors!
Exactly. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
But should you be bored, or jumping at shadows, or feel the need for a good Spring Cleaning no matter what the season is outside, the ritual I outlined is a great one. The reason I like it so much is it really doesn’t matter what’s “real” or what you believe. If you have some spirits around (like ancestors) that you want to keep around, you can do that, too, simply by making your light into a net or sieve - it can filter out what you’d like to disperse while allowing the stuff you’d like to stay. It works just as well for psychological unease as it does astral hobgoblins.
And that’s the real kind of “magic(k)”, in my book. 