Some gifts that are always welcomed are best-quality cookware. Someone can always use a great chef’s knife, dutch oven, and stuff like that. Depending on what point the daughter is in her life, she may still have a bunch of junky college pots, pans, knives, etc. that are badly in need of upgrades.
I don’t think I’d take it as an insult. I probably would have when I was younger and more defensive, and especially if my mother was making the suggestion. But at this point in my life, I think it would be damn difficult for me to look at the eternal mess that I live in and turn around and get pissy at someone for suggesting I might want a little help straightening up. I would want somebody who has experience with hoarders. If they can wade through a challenge like that, then I figure they’d find it a piece of cake to be dealing with a common slob like me.
Mom has been here for almost a month and our housekeeper has been over 3 times. We are ready to walk out the door when Pam shows up so there isn’t much contact.
Mom has noticed how clean our home always is and today was complimenting how the kitchen looked like nobody ever cooked there half an hour after feasting on home cooked crab, shrimp and steak. Clean up is much easier if you always start out with a clean area.
Mom is sure that she will go back to her house sometime, but is now thinking she wants a housekeeper as well.
Hoo boy it’s sometimes murder trying to help my elderly folks. A well intentioned gift or gesture can send them into a tizzy add in miscommunication and it’s a shitstorm of tears, regret, guilt and recriminations. Maid service, meals on wheels, shopping service, gifts that aid those with poor eyesight or hard of hearing. If not handled correctly where the recipient feels in control or or pre-approves it it will stress them out.
We arranged for them to participate in a xmas in July window parade with friends and family lined up to wave hello and gift getting afterwards. They blew it off, ghosted us, said xmas is not in July we don’t believe in that. They did not know the trouble we went to we just assumed they’d participate.
And that is the core of the your difficulty.
They are struggling with loss of independence and dignity. They aren’t kids, despite being almost as helpless as kids, and will not react well to being treated as if they were kids.
Dealing with my aged MIL was similar. Until I woke up a few years ago and realized it’s not my place to insist; only to ask.
If she wants to struggle ineffectually by forgetfully skipping most of her meds because she refuses to use a 7-day pill organizer as much younger me has done for a decade, so be it.
Her right to choose badly is more important to her than is doing things more effectively. And I don’t get to set her priorities. She does. I simply have to accept the reality that her poor decisions will make her life harder, less healthy, and shorter. But much happier for her, if not for me. And that’s what matters: that she be happy(er) by her lights, not by mine.
This is not easy. And may take you overcoming some habits of your lifetime. It certainly was hard for me and I still find myself biting my tongue regularly. But the freedom it gains for you and your parents will be huge.
If they are busy professionals, how about a few months of one of the meal prep subscription services?
I agree, though it was with a lot of patience on out part and finally a harsh reality check that my mom made the decision to follow my dad to their al apt. We were certain that she was spiraling into depression and living dangerously doing things her way.
Stick handling we call it, kind Oof like curling, mom was on an icy trajectory while we furiously swept a path in front of her. 
A perfect analogy. I’m no curler, but it looks like it takes furious amounts of brooming to make tiny trajectory changes. That’s certainly how sheparding the elders feels.
I’ve been doing that for 10-ish years now and, happily, there’s no end in sight for the old gal. It did get much easier once she went to IL.
Good luck to us all.