Giggly? Jiggly? No—Gigli!

[Greywolf73]

Well, John Popick from Planet Sickboy doesn’t mince words:

I fought the urge to punch someone once it finally ended

This one made me laugh too:

For a brief, mad, moment I had a flicker of a thought that the mundane inanity of the sordid and petty imperatives imposed on Larry and Ricki might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were, and that Godot would arrive long before this movie went anywhere – Nell Minow from Movie Mom

[Lamia]

I thought this movie looked bad enough from the commercials, but I actually read a newspaper review of it today and discovered that it’s not only bad, it’s offensively bad. Apparently there are yuks at the expense of a developmentally disabled kidnapping victim (!), and the character played by Jennifer Lopez is a lesbian (!!) who “straightens out” (!!!) thanks to the love of Ben Affleck (!!!).

Hmmm…that last plot point sounds strangely familiar. I didn’t much like the sound of that movie either, but at least it didn’t have Jennifer Lopez.

[h.sapiens]

Roger Ebert gave it 2-1/2 stars! He actually seems to have kind of liked it. Of course, he also seems to be in love with Jennifer Lopez, so that could explain it.

[Skywatcher]

*Originally posted by Lamia *
**Apparently there are yuks at the expense of a developmentally disabled kidnapping victim (!), and the character played by Jennifer Lopez is a lesbian (!!) who “straightens out” (!!!) thanks to the love of Ben Affleck (!!!).

Hmmm…that last plot point sounds strangely familiar. **

No kidding.

[Deadmime]

I thought he was talking about Chasing Amy

[Just_Some_Guy]

Roger Ebert gave it 2-1/2 stars! He actually seems to have kind of liked it. Of course, he also seems to be in love with Jennifer Lopez, so that could explain it.

Yep, Ebert has a weakness for the women. If the review focusses on that as a major factor in the rating you know to knock two stars off right there.

[Miller]

Originally posted by Homebrew
That was one of my favorite reviews ever. I’m sure that lesbians everywhere are going to love the “it’s turkey time” line as JLo’s LESBIAN character intiates sex with ol’ Gigli. See, all it takes is the right man …

Hmmm…

From Roger Ebert’s Review
Gigli and Ricki get to like each other very, very much, even though she makes it perfectly clear that she is a lesbian. So resolute is the movie in its idea of her character that she doesn’t even cave in and have a conversion experience, which is what we’re expecting, but remains a lesbian–as indeed, as a good lesbian, she should.

So, which is it? Does J. Lo get cured by Ben’s Magic Penis or what?

[Skywatcher]

*Originally posted by Deadmime *
**I thought he was talking about Chasing Amy **

I’m sure he was but the “it’s been done” statement is true for both movies, just not that specific.

[Skywatcher]

“Gigli must be Italian for ‘bad movie’.” -Arch Campbell, NBC4 (DC)

[fotosbyfrank]

*Originally posted by Earl Snake-Hips Tucker *
**Check back in 20 years. I’ll bet this will be another “Ishtar” or “My Mother, the Car” TV series. **

What was wrong with “My Mother, The Car”? I loved that show!!!

You had a name star (Jerry Van Dyke), a sexy babe (Maggie Pierce), a cool car (a 1928 Porter), a great villan (Avery Schreiber - sans long-time partner, Jack Burns - they were a FUNNY team!) and the talent of a true star, Ann Southern.

It was one of the few shows my parents let me watch back then.

[Homebrew]

*Originally posted by Miller *
**So, which is it? Does J. Lo get cured by Ben’s Magic Penis or what? **

from PlanetOut.com review

In what may go down as the most embarrassing, imprudent attempt at cleverly sexy dialogue in the history of cinema, the gangland romantic-comedy catastrophe entitled “Gigli” features Jennifer Lopez coming on to Ben Affleck by asking to be orally pleasured with the line, “Come on, gobble, gobble.”

But it’s not the line all by itself that makes this moment the cherry atop this dung-heap sundae of a movie, which is nothing but bad moments. It’s also the fact that Lopez is playing a lesbian – one of those gorgeous, male-fantasy movie lesbians who just needed the right man to straighten her out.

And it’s also the idea that this “right man” for a straight-curious, street-smart Sappho is an angry, dim-witted mook and inept Mob enforcer, played by Affleck with a New Jersey accent (even though the character grew up in southern California) and the stink of churlish masculinity that comes from overactive testosterone glands and beer-deadened brain cells.

[Rhum_Runner]

*Originally posted by Eve *
**This is the type of movie that usually ends careers. It is that bad. Double Zero

Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease . . . **

Oh god, please let there be a silver lining to this horror!

[Zeldar]

The silver lining, Rhum Runner is that you don’t have to see it. On the other hand, anything so patently denounced by any and all is a must see, right?

I will wait for it to roll through the cable movie places, which, from the looks of it, may be any day now.

[Revtim]

This has got to be mostly backlash against the overexposure of Affleck and Lopez. It’s worse than “Freddy Got Fingered”? C’mon. That is not just unlikely; it’s a logical impossibility.

[look_ninjas]

They’re now up to four positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Out of 91. That’s gotta sting.

[Catamount]

*Originally posted by Revtim *
**This has got to be mostly backlash against the overexposure of Affleck and Lopez. It’s worse than “Freddy Got Fingered”? C’mon. That is not just unlikely; it’s a logical impossibility. **

Oh yes it is. Go watch the trailer on IMDb. Once you pick your eyes up off the floor, you will agree.

“It is an exquisitely bad movie: One to be savoured, marvelled over, shared with friends and generally appreciated in a state of awestruck wonder. Gourmet fromage.”
Geoff Pevere, TORONTO STAR

[Fiver]

I’m betting they titled it Gigli just to make people think it’s a remake of Gigi, a movie which did not, in fact, suck. I remember it well.

[Guinastasia]

So basically, she’s playing, what do they call it, “Lesbian until graduation” or something like that?

[widdershins]

The producers got it wrong. Gigli should be pronounced (gig-LEEEEEEE!) like an onomatopoeia word for the gagging sound you make while watching it.

[Doomtrain]

But Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms!