Giggly? Jiggly? No—Gigli!

I am not planning to see the new starring vehicle of the Special Olympics Gable and Lombard, but I did have to quote the marvelous review from today’s NY Times:

“[Jennifer Lopez] also threatens the apparent ringleader with a baroque martial-arts torture, which involves gouging out the eyes and also removing that part of the brain that stores visual information, so that the victim will not only be blind, but will also lose all memory of what he has seen. Having seen Gigli, I must say that the idea has a certain appeal.”

Har! Somewhere, Mrs. Parker is beaming approvingly.

That was one of my favorite reviews ever. I’m sure that lesbians everywhere are going to love the “it’s turkey time” line as JLo’s LESBIAN character intiates sex with ol’ Gigli. See, all it takes is the right man …

Second-best movie put down I’ve heard this year.

Best was Ebert’s retort when the director of The Brown Bunny made comments about Ebert’s colon (don’t ask): “I had a colonoscopy; they let me watch on a TV monitor. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.”

I zipped over to the Rotten Tomatoes site & found plenty more hilarious reviews. This excerpt is from the Slant reviewer: “Gigli pretends to be a sophisticated comedy of the sexes yet it’s written with the adolescent gusto of a fifty-year-old who’s finally discovered that a penis goes inside a vagina.”

I don’t think the reviewers are holding back.
There is one good review listed…do you think that reviewer will ever be trusted again?

I heard a review on the radio this morning where the guy said it’s the worst movie he’s ever seen. He gave it 0 stars, only because he felt he couldn’t give anything lower than that.

I’m sure an audio clip will be posted here eventually.

I think that “one good review” is from one of the people that give good reviews to everything, so they have some quotes to put on the posters and ads, right?

There’s critics who rave about everything, which makes Sony’s fabricated review scandal a while back seem even more stupid.

The Onion writers didn’t seem to like it either.

My GF told me she read a review at Rotten Tomatos and the reviewer after watching Gigli had to clean his pallette by watching Glitter!

Now that is some funny sh!t!


From the Wall Street Journal:

Now that is a negative review!

I have a quaetion. While I have no doubt that this is a bad movie on the scale of Ishtar and Glitter, does anyone think that there is a kind of pile-on mentality due to the over-exposure of these two in the media. I am not complaining at all, but would there be this much vitriol if it were Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller?

Check back in 20 years. I’ll bet this will be another “Ishtar” or “My Mother, the Car” TV series. Both of those were panned as being unbelievably bad. With the passage of time, and a new look, it’s easier to see that, well, yeah, they were kinda dumb–but the worst of all time? Nope. They just weren’t that bad.

If Ben Stiller did that same crappy accent? Yes.

Reading the reviews of Gigli, it sounds way worse than Ishtar, which was just blah.

Is the movie a musical like GiGi? I wish it was.

I’m very disappointed that Rotten Tomatoes has now found one good review, out of 59 thus far - of course, it’s from that stellar critic, Chuck the Movieguy of COMINGSOON.NET, but still…

I’m fond of “a rigli, rigli bad movie” myself.

From the Detroit Free Press:

*“Gigli” is a film that begins badly and gets worse and worse, like someone who has been knocked unconscious in an accident and then bleeds to death because he gets no attention. *

That’s cooooold.

I am reminded of Janet Maslin’s classic review of the Sharon Stone–Sylvester Stallone costarrer The Specialist: “A disaster akin to watching the Hindenberg crash into the Titanic.”

Yep, the audio review is there now.

Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease . . .