Girl For Sale

Actually, I should say, “woman for sale.” You know, since I’m 35 years old.

I confess to being a little screwed up (and on the sauce as of this writing). I take two Prozac a day as well as an occasional klonopin to help with panicked feelings. However, I’m also educated, well-employed, generally happy, extremely affectionate and giving, patient (since I"m understanding of other’s shortcomings and psychological issues)…as well as fairly cute, adventurous, and completely generous. The issues with my medication tend to be mainly brought on “situationally.” So when things are smooth and peopel are nice to me and I like my job…I don’t need them. A weakness? Yes, of course. But also, at least I know enough to take medication when I really need it to get through something. And at least I don’t always need it.

I ALWAYS have a volunteer project, because I like to give back. It used to be working with sexual assualt and domestic violence survivors, but now I’m a big sister, which I’ve learned a lot from. So when I say race doesn’t matter in a partner, I really mean “RACE DOES NOT MATTER IN A PARTNER.” I’m not just saying that because I don’t want to look like a racist (please see “Freakonomics” for more in this issue…there’s some interesting, and frankly, hilarious stuff in there about people who claim in public not to care about race but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they DO care. I do not.)

I currently live in the Boston area, but I’m going to do a three month stint close to Cincinatti. I’m totally willing to travel for a SMART, fun, understanding, non-judgemental man. In fact, the time in the midwest will afford me some leeway as far as travel, time, etc.

Here’s what I think is fun: I LOVE to kayak. I seriously can’t get enough of it. I feel the MOST at home when I get into my boat and on the water. I also like to hike. I especially like rather challenging hiking that involves a little climbing over rocks, etc. However, I will tell you that in October i had my stomach stapled…gastric bypass surgery. So, I’ ve lost about 124 pounds since then and feel awesome, but I AM still finishing up with my weight loss and fitness regime. I’m in no way a “triathalete” or someone with a perfect athletic body. So…you know…I’m sad about that, but if that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll have to either be patient and wait for me to get there, or look elsewhere.

Otherwise, what I want is just a nice person! Someone who can provide me with a stable relationship (stable meaning that I don’t feel like we’re about to break up every week). Though, of course, I understand the whole thing about “getting to know one another” and dating. I don’t expect “instant boyfriend.”

Also, you know, if we could go out and have fun and you could make me feel “female” and at least relatively attractive, I would LOVE it…it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Yeah…the Straight Dope Message Board is NOT the place for personal ads. But…since you are all fighting ignorance, I felt like you’d understand! Plus…you know, the beer and all. Since my digestive system has been re-routed, I tend to absorb it quickly and it makes me a little…warm-feeling. And I know the guys on here are NICE. So if you’re not offended by my request for companionship, please respond!

If you are, feel free to respond with insults. But to be honest, the insults probably won’t hit me too hard…I mean, I just don’t care at 10:32 on a Saturday night after a six pack.

Thanks all…any advice you can give me (yeah, I know…see a therapist)…is much welcomed.


Don’t drink and type.

Exactly. Very bad idea.

Responses might be best pointed to email, all.

$10 and you get to make me a sammich…no? Darn!


Actually…sure. $10 was really more than I expected for a chubby brunette! And I like making sammiches. Waht do you want on it?

Sorry, ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks, but asking for romantic interest on a message board, while tipsy, is usually a bad idea. Well, that and we don’t allow it.