OK. Read below first. And if you disagree, say why you disagree. And, disprove the lines below.
“Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when inreality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”
The analogy doesn’t incorporate the fact that some “brave” souls will try to climb anything no matter what its actual worth. This is because there are no physical consequences to this.
Did you never have a childhood? When was the last time you saw a guy forgo climbing a tree because they might fall? This is the gender that lights its own farts. The gender that invented NASCAR which no one watches for the cars that successfully make all the laps.
Also, there’s a middle ground here. I’ve never climbed to the top of an apple tree because guess what? There’s perfectly tasty apples hanging on the branches above my head that are also coincidentally not rotten ground apples. (Nice slut shaming though.)
It’s 2012 and you know what that means? If you’re a girl and you’re not getting any action, think about going to where the action is instead of reposting schlocky idiocies on FB.
I have some very fond memories of what you call rotten, easy apples. There was still no avoiding getting hurt by them, no more than from climbing up for the “good” ones. But that’s what you risk when you love someone, no matter where you find them.
Girls are like apples on trees. They have thin skins and bruise easily and turn all mushy inside and you can’t tell by looking which ones are full of worms - you have to bite them to find out.
Doesn’t it make more sense to make the boys the apples? I mean, if one must play this game in this first place. The whole “looking for Mr. Right” thing implies that its the women doing the picking, not the men.
The analogy is dumb anyway. The apples on the ground are there because they are sufficiently developed, delicious enough to be consumed. Many of the apples still hanging in the tree are not ready yet. They have yet to become sweet and soft. So if you really want to lean on this analogy, the better apples are the ones that have fallen. If they are rotten, then of course you don’t want them. But chances are you’ll be able to easily distinguish the rotten ones from the not rotten ones. You’re still more likely to find a good one down there than you would up in the tree. And you don’t have to risk breaking your neck in the process!
It’s glurge, which means that even if there’s some truth in there, it’s surrounded by a hard shell of self-affirming bullshit. Some great woman are single because of a lack of self-confidence, but being constantly single isn’t a sign that you’re really great. It can also indicate stuck-up-ness, a lack of social skills or approachability, or that you’re not as great as you think you are- a problem glurge is not going to cure. And it’s not true that guys only go for low-hanging fruit.
The more I look at it this way, the more disturbing it becomes. “If an apple isn’t ready to fall on its own, you should wrench it off the branch by force. Sure, there’s risk involved, but it’s worth it because they’re still clean.”
If you want your girl to last, put her in an environment controlled for temperature and humidity, and possibly controlled atmosphere. Optimal temperatures for long term storage are 30 to 32 degrees F. Keep in mind that girls respire and soften twice as fast at 40 degrees F than at 32 degrees F. You may need to use supplemental humidification, such as fog spray nozzles.
Addition or removal of gases resulting in atmospheric composition different from normal air is being used in controlled atmosphere (CA) or hypobaric (low-pressure) storage to extend the shelf life of girls. It is an adjunct to low temperature storage, not a substitute. CA reduces metabolic activity of the girl, and reduces the girl’s rate of ethylene production as well as sensitivity to ethylene, which can hasten softening and color change. Ripening girls can give off ethylene, which will hasten the ripening of surrounding girls.
Which you probably wouldn’t want.
Also, I don’t allow anyone to climb my girl trees. They break the branches. They must use ladders.
Of course, some of us don’t want our girls to last. We just want to eat one when we are hungry, then, when one girl is finished, throw away the core and start eating another girl. Why would you want to limit yourself to one girl when they are so sweet, round and juicy?
