Hopefully we can open and close this thread in less time than it’s gonna take me type this question.
Suppose you’ve got an employee who comes in everyday like Eeyore, sulking about how everything at work sucks. They’re always bitching out loud about something, talking about things not going right, etc.
The employee otherwise does super great work, but their attitude is too – what?
“Contagious” seems like a word you’d use to describe a cold or a cough.
“Toxic” seems a little strong, but may be the final answer.
“Infectious” could be it, but I’ve always used that in a favorable sense - i.e. “that cute blonde gal in Marketing has an infectious laugh”.
I checked the Thesaurus-dot-com page, and one of the other options is “virulent” and until two minutes ago I’d never even heard that word, so I don’t want to use that in a performance review to pretend like I’m using big words to sound smart.
How do you articulate to an employee that his / her shitty attitude might be rubbing off on other people? Is there a better one-word than “toxic”? I suppose I could say that “your shitty attitude is rubbing off on other people” and call it good with that.
Thanks for any input on this one - I’m sure one of y’all can come up with a better word than I can, and I’ve been poring over this for a day and a half.
How about this - you praise them for the things they are doing right, and then you suggest (or tell them) that you want to see a more solutions-based thinking from them. For example, it’s not that the company can’t organize the production timeline, but here is how our team can help organize the production timeline. Because everyone can see the problems, but management likes to see people who work on solving them.
Depending on which lever will work, use “solution-based thinking” is critical for their career path; or “solution-based thinking” helps management maintain a positive impression of the employee when tough decisions and/or raises are being decided; or people only perceive the negative about this employee and not their stellar work because he is not solutions-based.
If other people are agreeing with them that implies there are underlying problems. Do you feel that discouraging people from openly discussing these issues is going to solve it?
Granted there are just negative people. But if other people are agreeing with the employee then perhaps there are other things at risk.
I vote for demoralizing also. Toxic is way too severe.
That assumes that the attitude really is demoralizing. If everyone else laughs at him, there really isn’t much of an issue.
Yeah, I’m kinda liking the word “demoralizing” as well. It’s better than anything I’ve come up with thus far.
And don’t get me wrong - there’s definitely room for some ‘coaching’ there that I’d like to think I’m capable of. I’m definitely not a “rainbows and unicorns, glass is always 3/4s full” guy, but I’d like to think I’m pretty good at giving out praise and “empowering” this employee any chance I get.
I want him to be able to speak freely in our review, but I want to also express to him that when he’s constantly bitching about everything that’s bad (i.e. c’mon man relax, the printer just ran out of paper - that’s an easy fix), that that sorta thing might bleed over to others on the team.
What’s the purpose here? To get the employee to change? I don’t think one-word characterizations are going to be effective. The person will just get defensive.
And I hope this isn’t going to be a surprise to the employee. Something like this shouldn’t be coming up for the first time in a formal review.
Perhaps instead of trying to describe his attitude, you can just describe the behaviors he needs to rein in. You don’t want to be accused of being “thought police”. He has every right to feel and think however he wants. His behavior is what is problematic, not his attitude.
“I have noticed that you complain a lot, and I am concerned that it has a negative effect on other staff members. I’d like you to try to pare back on that.”
There’s a difference between discussing solutions and simply bitching about the problem. People who just bitch about problems are toxic/demoralizing and tend to drag the atmosphere of a workplace down. People who propose (and work to implement) solutions to problems are an asset.
I’ve heard of complainers described as “vampires.”
I’m not sure this is a useful line of thinking, especially not from the employee’s perspective.
People complain when they feel they have reason to complain. Does this make them “complainers”? You’re taking a phenomenon and labeling someone with it as a matter of character.
Maybe this person has a reason to feel unsatisfied—does E feel not listening to or is Ē having some other problems in life that are triggering feelings of dissatisfaction.
Is this someone you just dislike and want to get rid of? If that’s the case then maybe it doesn’t matter.
But if not then I don’t know how helpful it is to tell someone “stop telling people how you feel.”
Maybe this person needs counseling. Is there an Employee Assistance Program?
Who’s complaining here? You or him?
Do you have any evidence that the other employees care?
Maybe it’s just you. (Now, since you’re the boss, that’s a pretty important concern, of course.)
But do you have any evidence that his complaints affect anybody else in the office except you?
What specific complaints does this guy make? Because, for me, if somebody in my office tells me that the printer is out of paper…that ain’t no complaint. It’s a simple fact.
And since I’m youngish and flexible, and the fat lady (who uses the printer most often) is not…well, I get the honor of bending down under the table to pull out the new paper and reload it for her.But if I hear her saying “dammit, the printer’s out of paper again” --that doesn’t even register on my radar as a complaint, it doesn’t affect my work, and it sure doesn’t affect the company’s profits. It’s certainly nothing that the boss needs to be aware of.
Some people are never happy unless they are miserable. I work with someone like that. I’m not his supervisor, so if I can help with a problem, I do. If not, I go do some work (or post to the SDMB). If I am in a meeting, and it turns into a bitch session, I ask whoever is running the meeting “are we done?” and hang up if it is a phone meeting or go back to my desk if it is in a conference room.
Trying to tell an employee not to be such a Debbie Downer is, IME, a lost cause. If his work is otherwise good, and it’s not impacting on anyone else’s, it’s just background noise.
If his complaints are legitimate and addressable, address them. If they are legitimate and not addressable, or if he just likes to complain, “suck it up, buttercup” applies to everyone involved.
If they otherwise do good work, I would frame this feedback in a way that doesn’t make them feel singled out.
“I’ve noticed that there seems to be a lot of negativity in the office lately, which worries me because this stuff eats at morale and productivity over time. So here’s what I’m asking–not just you but everyone: can we please try to make more of an effort to be less critical of things in general? I mean, yes it’s obnoxious that the copier broke down again, but griping about it makes the environment more stressful than it has to be. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
Ending with a question possibly opens the door for them to explain why they complain so much. Maybe there are some legitimate beefs in there. But you might also just get a non-response that says “no, I don’t know what you’re talking about”. People who complain a lot usually don’t see themselves as complainers.
IMHO, one word won’t do here. It’s one of the harder management challenges, I think, to tell someone they’re complaining too much in a way that doesn’t feel to them like another reason to complain. Either they’re really disgruntled for some reason, and so any management criticism will be just more fuel for the disgruntlement; or they’re perfectly fine just with a normally Eeyore-like way of expressing themselves, and so won’t understand the criticism.
I might just tell them they’re doing good work, then ask if they’re happy here. If they say “no”, well now you can at least start finding out the source of the disgruntlement and if possible do something about it. If they say “Sure, why?” you can explain their negativity. Possibly the surprise will help them realize what they’re doing, and since you started with concern for them, it’s a lot easier to then explain how the negativity also affects others. I suspect the ideal outcome is that he tries to tone it down, and the rest of the office also accepts that his cynical expression isn’t fundamental and sees it as entertaining rather than demoralizing.