I give cash. It is not my business deciding for them how they should spend it. They are living a terrible existence, at least give them the small dignity of choosing how to spend a very small bit of money.
Gifting isn’t supposed to be transactional, though. They should be freely given, without expectation. Otherwise, what you’re giving is an obligation.
I do not give homeless people money on the street (or in the train station, where I mostly see them). Mainly, because I don’t want them in the places I go. My state (NJ) has tons of resources for poor, homeless, mentally ill, or addicted people - it’s one of the reasons our taxes are super high.
I happily pay my state and local taxes, and vote for people who work to improve the lives of the poor and homeless. But, I don’t want someone in my face as I’m commuting to and from work.
There’s at least one “homeless” guy in my town who goes up to people asking for a £1 coin, not vague, asking for exactly what he wants invading people’s personal space to do it. I’ve never given him anything but he still keeps asking me and everybody around. Based on the number of people who do give him one that I’ve seen, I’m sure he’s making more than me.
While their concerns might be valid, I typically don’t give them money because I don’t want to encourage their behavior. i.e. I just want to walk down the street without someone asking me for money. I will admit the last time I gave a panhandler money was because he was scrupulously honest. “I’m not going to lie to you, I just want to buy a beer.”
Gotcha. I guess some people are bigger assholes than I’d expect!
I give gifts to family members and friends on holidays and special occasions.
If I give a homeless person money, that’s not a gift, it’s a donation.
I sometimes see signs that read, “Why lie? I just want to get high”.
I give to my local Rescue Mission. I figure they can help the homeless better than I can individually.
More to the point, it’s charity. If I gave $100 to an animal shelter and found out they spent it on beer and weed, no one would say I didn’t have any right to be upset.
I mostly agree woth you, but the amount I give tends to be based on how outrageously bad the story is. So kind of transactional, I am buying fiction.
Like, “I had to go to the hospital and don’t have money to get home” - a common one in my area, where we have a big public hospital. No dude. You “knew” you were “going to hospital”. You can sort out your own train fare back to your house.
Versus
“I’m an artist, I make sculptures from old VHS tape and wire, and it’s hot, can I get money for a beer?”
Terrible (and I mean, terrible) VHS artist guy is going to get my money. Honesty and entertainment value combined. I even bought one of his sculptures once, it went direct to the recycling… he was not a talented artist. But he at least was trying to make a living, not expecting others to supply him with a living.
If I am ever in dire poverty or homeless, I will choose his approach: offer a service, goods, whatever. Not just beg for money. Even if what I am selling is shit, it does two important things.
Firstly, it affects my self-worth - places value on me - which is something many homeless people need restored, and secondly, obviously, it gets me respect from potential donors. So I’d be likely to get more, because people admire strength in adversity.
(Note: I have been homeless, but never desperate)
Yeah, I’ll give money, sometimes, to musicians with a hat out.
ETA: Never on the subway, though. That shit is too annoying.
I am pretty much of the same mindset. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give every now and then. I do, usually to people who look like they can’t work.
But I realize that the $20 or so that I give isn’t going to change their lives. I know that whether they spend it on food, booze, or cigarettes all it does it make their day a little bit better, and that is good enough for me.
They would do so much better if they asked for food and money where the people weren’t, right?
I very rarely give money. I did give a homeless woman the unopened bag of cat food I’d been left with after my cat had to be put to sleep, though. She had the cat in a baby buggy and was thrilled that her cat got food.
Years ago in Madison the local Salvation Army would let you use their address as your home address for applications, and would take messages like “we’d like you to come in for an interview”. Was this an anomaly or is this just something they no longer do?
I do know that one of the shelters I occasionally made it in to in Seattle provided the same services. I also found out that far too many businesses knew that those addresses and phone numbers led back to homeless shelters…and were treated accordingly. Businesses want you to have your own real address, your own real phone number and, far too often, financial stability, and they do not like it when you deceive them.
They would do so much better in a homeless shelter, food pantry, or soup kitchen, if they’re looking for food, shelter, and services.
I have purchased food at a gas station a couple times, and fast food a couple times as well, because that’s where the people were. I would also be more than happy to fill a gas tank should anyone ask, but to date in my life, nobody has.
My city has a landmark not-so-affectionately dubbed “The Bridge To Nowhere” and homeless people crash there as well. The janitorial staff basically hoses the stairwells down every day. They were initially going to build a casino there, and that fell through. I’ve never been in it.
I remember seeing several variations of that comic strip!
I told this story before on SD. A couple of years ago on a very warm summer morning, I went to Walmart. There was a girl maybe in her 20s standing in the median with a sign. I don’t remember what it said. She also had a big dog with her. I don’t usually give the sign-holders money, but the dog tugged at my heart. I went home and filled a ziploc with dog food, put that and a bottle of water, a dog chew and $10 in a bag. When I went back the police were talking to her. She left her post and started walking towards the parking lot. I parked and ran after her. I caught up with her and handed her the bag. She mumbled “thanks”. and then preceded to get into a new-ish car being driven by someone else. Maybe she was “working” for the driver. I don’t know. At least the dog got something out of it.
She was likely a prostitute. After rejecting a woman panhandling in a parking lot (middle aged and Hispanic), my conscience got the better of me and I walked back up to give her a $10.
She immediately brought out a little handwritten sign with the word “Hotel?” on it and showed it to me. She didn’t seem very happy to be doing all of this tho, note.
IOW she wasn’t panhandling.
That was the last time I gave any of these people anything.