I was in a meeting at work when I (and to this day regret it) looked over and saw my new boss digging for gold. He already had these really freaky long finger nails and I guess now I new why.
Although the image had been burned in my head, …like passing a horrible accident on the freeway…, I looked back. Now he was casually noshing on said “nose gold”. Ugh. I now felt very ill. As you can imagine, I kept my eyes glued in front of me for the balance of the meeting.
As we left I asked if anyone else had seen what “Herr Goober” had done during the meeting. It quickly was adopted as the only way he was referred to out of earshot. Now it has been shortened to just “Goob”.
Other nicknames:
Slappy
All women named Patricia become Chicken Patty
Shasta
Anyone named Amanda is immediately called Amandahugginkiss
Dan the Man
Mr. Clean (he’s bald, not neat)
And the jerk who only likes to be called “Richard” is of course Dick