I tell 'em I just got out of jail and can’t help them, then wish them luck.
Assuming “just” is most of a decade, I’m telling the truth.
I am charitable, but I don’t give to beggars: ever. Sorry.
When someone comes up to be soliciting money or looking like they’re going to, I put on my cop face, and say in authoritative voice, “Can I help you, sir?” (or ma’am). If they persist (less than 10% of the time) I’ll follow up with, “You realize than panhandling is illegal in this municipality, right? Can I see some ID, sir?” I figure anyone who is in serious trouble, not just yanking for crank money will ask for help at that point.
They never, ever do.
Lest you think I’m too much of a jerk, I do call or stop for people who are broken down on the side of the road, and once filled up the gas tank for a woman who was clearly distressed (visible bruising on her face and arms), and directed her to the nearest state police barracks when she declined my offer of further help. I just have a low threshold of tolerance for panhandlers and people who choose to guilt or cajole others into providing them with a livelihood.
Stranger
I will give food, though usually not money. As others have said, if you are willing to accept food, I figure you probably need it. Sometimes I’ve even been cussed out (though not to my face, usually I hear mumbling as I’m walking away) by someone who wanted money rather than food.
The recent exception to the money was a guy sitting outside a parking garage who had a sign saying he’d take anything, including food. I gave him a couple of granola bars I happened to have in my car. He actually looked grateful, so when I came back by I gave him $5 as well.
As for street musicians/performers, I only give money to them if I feel my life has been made better and not worse by their music. Since I’m a bit of a musician myself, this doesn’t happen all that often…
Giving food is the obvious answer if you want to give, but don’t want them to spend it on something bad for them. If you want to be extra sure, make sure you watch them eat it, so they don’t sell it.
My sister, who is an evangelical Christian goes a step further. She makes them listen to a proselytizing spiel. While this can be annoying, I think it’s a good way to let them know that they still can’t get anything for free.
Oh, and my psychologist says that there are a significant number of homeless people who aren’t suffering from mental disorders or substance addiction, but reject the responsibility required to be a non-homeless citizen.
I buy food.
There’s this one guy, he hangs out near our dorm, the neighborhood’s pretty much adopted him like a stray cat. He’s very sweet. I buy him a soup and a Snapple (his favorites) every time I see him. I ask him about his health (he has AIDS) and lately I’ve been telling jokes to him. Doesn’t matter how dumb they are, he cracks up.
There’s another guy I’ve seen a few times. He stands on the corner next to the grocery and asks people to buy him food. I’ve bought meals for him, too.
I remember one night, I was walking back to the dorm and this sick guy asked for cab money because he couldn’t walk very far on his own. And I mean really sick- all withered up and and bent and spotted, with a walker. If he was faking it, he deserved the cash for his acting abilities.
If someone approaches me and says they need money for food, I take them to get food. If they say they need money because their car broke down, I’ll give them the change in my pocket.
I don’t give to anyone who panhandles in my neighborhood or near my office. We’re not developing a relationship, and I won’t be giving you money more than once.
Asking for money for a beer may be honest, but I’ll be too annoyed to give you anything. Same goes for drugs.
Stay away from me when I’m at the ATM.
I may opt to give you food if you say you need to eat. Try not to have any special dietary requirements. Broke, hungry, and fussy is no way to live on the streets.
I don’t often give money to people who need to “get home.” Or to anyone with a long, complicated story.
- giving money to an addict harms them.
- if the person isn’t legitimately homeless then you are diverting money from the needy.
- By not giving it to a charity you loose the leverage of bulk purchasing power.
- By giving money to any pan handler you encourage the behavior which hurts businesses nearby and the city looses tax dollars that go toward the homeless.
I give change when I can, and throw some to the bell-ringers when I pass.
I was approached at a gas station in Aspen, or Vail, by some 20’s something that was easily myself- twenty years before. He had a red gas container, and a dog, told me he just ran out of gas. Since gas was like $3.25, I gave him a $5; his container was not all that big.
He never did put gas into the container.
I wanted to be a hippie-skier, with no responsibilities, living in Aspen or Vail, but I had to get a job and visit there once every 20 years.
I had mixed emotions about the whole deal; one the one hand, it takes a lot of guts to panhandle when you know you can work, but on the other hand…there are lawyers, politicians, and used car salesmen.
I give my opinion these days.
I hope the dog got something to eat, at least.
Urk? Most of the panhandlers I’ve encountered are cowards and sometimes bullies who prey on other peoples’ guilt or fear. They’re doing nothing to either improve themselves or contribute to society, which is their choice and their privilege, but I’ll be damned if I’ll pay for it.
Stranger
They may get food from me. I will not give money to panhandlers for the same reasons others have given.
Sometimes I give them some cash. I try to keep the big picture in mind and realize that handing out a few bucks every now and again doesn’t really entitle me to subject people to my sanctimoniousness–even if they’re drug addicts or drunks or grifters or layabouts.
There but for the grace of God go I.
How is it that you’ve gotten to know the panhandlers you encounter so well that you’ve reached a conclusion about a majority of their resolve in the face of danger?
I’ve been homeless, and I’ve worked with people who have done “casual” panhandling despite being employed. Most of the people who genuinely need help, are willing to work, and are just temporarily affected will seek the multitude (albeit sometimes underfunded) of support and vocational services that are available. The vast majority of homeless in the United States are so if not by conscious volition then because their is some aspect of the lifestyle that they are unwilling to give up (drugs, not having to report for work, et cetera).
If you want a genuine portrayal of homelessness, try reading Lars Eighner’s Travels with Lizbeth. Eighner, who was homeless by choice (unwilling to give up his dog, Lizbeth, in order to live in a shelter) is honest and unabashed about homelessness and the choices that led him there. Be warned, though; it isn’t a very happy read.
If you really want to help people who are in desperate circumstances and just need a little help, donate your time or money to a non-secular homeless shelter, local food bank, vocational program, or battered women shelter. Handing out a few bucks to the woman standing on the on-ramp or hassling you as you walk down the street is merely contributing to the problem.
Stranger
I like to give odd denominations, like 50 cent pieces or those gold dollars or $2 bills. The beggars just stare at it, not knowing quite what to do.
This is hilarious!
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You said it better than I could have. And I always add “I’ll buy you anything you want”. Only one person with me got more than one deluxe meal at McDonald’s. If they refuse food, it’s for drugs or booze; I never hand a homeless/panhandler money. But if I’m not in a rush (and I seldom am), I’ll always offer food, and I always get hit up near fast food joints, so it works out.
But it took me a few months of living in a city to catch on, too.
I nearly always give to buskers, after all they are at least *trying.
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Having a social worker for a dad, and helping him out in the soup kitchen and whatnot, has put me in the ‘give to shelters, not panhandlers’ camp. I’ll volunteer at the soup kitchen, or donate to the food bank, or give money to a shelter, but I’m not gonna give to people on the street. Especially because, living in San Francisco, there’s a shit-ton of them. Also, one of my personal pet peeves is the Street Sheet - basically a newspaper that people are supposed to sell instead of panhandling. No offense, but I’m not gonna read the thing, so the only difference between that and panhandling is the wasted paper.