This is the truth. I am far more likely to give to someone obviously missing body parts. I know that’s probably silly but it’s how my crazy head works.
Sitting in a wheelchair doesn’t count.
I rarely give to panhandlers anyway. I hang out around a small area so I know which ones I’ve seen take the money and run over to the crack house or the liquor store. Every once in a while one will touch me, just something in their eyes. I don’t have that much money but they’ll get some if I have it, even if they are running off to buy drugs. That much pain deserves any comfort I can offer.
Back when I lived in NYC, there was a middle-aged homeless man I’d pass almost every day. He always had his dog and cat with him. If I had any spare change on me I gave it to him. One day I was taking some rolled coins to the bank, and I gave him a roll of pennies. He yelled “What is this shit?” and threw it at me. Got me right in the eye, which became seriously ugly for about two weeks. I never gave that guy anything after that.
When by myself, I never give anything. Never have, and probably never will.
When with family/kids, I will produce a few bucks to defuse any situation where the beggar(s) seems vaguely threatening. Sometimes, parting with a few bucks seems like the safer alternative.
Speaking as a recovering alcoholic I do give cash to those guys that I see outside of the 7-11 that I am positive are just in it for the booze, provided they look to be in some form of withdrawal. Because with late stage alcoholism that can kill you. I also give them the number to the local detox and a copy of the where and when for AA meetings in case they want to get real help.
I give how I feel God leads me to give, I leave it to Him to point out the person.
My old rule was to rarely give money, but always (if practical) offer food if they indicate that that is what they want (or are asking for money to buy food). I still do by food for them if it seems fitting.
When a person asked for food (or more commonly money to buy food), if there is a (fast food/deli or other similar type) restaurant nearby I will take them in, tell them to order what they want and pay for it. Some accept the offer, some have basically walked away mumbling something or other.
I give money pretty frequently because I’ve known people in situations where $1 would have made a huge difference, and because I think of alms-giving as a matter of religious significance.
Even when I don’t want to give or don’t have anything, I’ll still make eye contact, smile, and say, “Sorry, fella” or something, because the same people tell me that being treated like a living human being rather than a piece of street furniture made almost as much difference.
I don’t know why, but I find this to be hilarious. “Skulking about way out in the boonies,” ha!
Yeah. Sometimes I’ll be carrying food around, and will give it to the first person who asks for something. Some years ago I went out to eat then drink with a group of friends, and the restaurant we ate at, like all restaurants, served some ridiculous “Am I seriously supposed to eat this in one sitting?” portion, so I took what I didn’t eat there to go. As we were pub crawling I thought to myself, “I’m sick of carrying this stupid box around.” I passed a beggar who asked us for change, and I gave him my food. After that I realized, hey, that’s a pretty easy way to get rid of food I don’t want without throwing it away.
I think it’s kind of like begging licence from the guild. It proves that this particular panhandler has got the go-ahead from whatever den of hippies prints The Big Issue, and how much they are allowed to accept.
There was one guy that asked me for money who didn’t even bother to stop sniffing fumes under his jacket as I was standing there. Then he asked again on my way back!
Where I live in NC, panhandling is legal, but you have to have a permit and wear an orange safety vest if you are in the street. That’s right, in the street. We have beggars sitting on traffic islands with their signs and hands out. The thing is, most of these people make more money than I do and this is their career. After their shift on the traffic island, they walk a few hundred yards to where they parked their car (so that it looked like a breakdown) and drive to their nice warm home. Now every time I see one of these folks I make a game out of finding their car.
I absolutely will not give money to the people who do this type of begging. I get really pissed off if someone in front of me in line decides to dig out some change and holds up the line and I miss the light.
The first time I went to NYC, I was 19. Our group was walking back to the hotel after dinner out and I had leftovers. A homeless man came up and asked for money. I told him I didn’t have any but handed him my takeout container. He opened it and then yelled at me because he didn’t like Chinese food. I told him he shouldn’t be so choosy, but he threw it in a garbage can. That put me off charity for a while.
I give what I can to the causes I believe in, but I don’t give to individual people anymore.
I only give to panhandlers if they’re doing some kind of street performance. For example, there’s a man near Powell’s books downtown that plays the violin. It’s beautiful and the way the music echos off the skyscrapers is just haunting.
Standing on the offramp, or accosting me? Bah, feck off!
I’ll give money to some, but I won’t give money to these guys, either. If they’re sitting on the island, it doesn’t bother me, but there is one guy that is often actually in the street on my way home from work, at a light on a parkway with a speed limit of 40mph and two lanes each way.
I’m terrified of hitting him, and I don’t want to encourage him or other people to hang out there. It’s dangerous for them, and it’s dangerous for drivers who could move to avoid them and hit another car instead. Especially since it’s dark at that hour now.
I’ll donate to programs that provide care for the homeless, but never directly to them. The way I look at it, I’m providing them better assistance in this manner, so I feel better about not giving directly and do not suffer from the guilt they depend on.
I’m leaving a Supertarget store and was approached:
Beggar: Could you spare some money so I can buy something to eat?
Me: How about I buy something from inside?
Beggar: Well, I want to get something from McDonald’s. (across the street)
Me (wondering why he isn’t begging at McDonald’s): I will buy you something from Target, not McDonald’s, that’s my offer.
Beggar: Um, ok.
I go inside, buy a freshly made Ham and Cheese sandwich for $3 and go back outside to give it to him. After I put my groceries in the car, I drive by the store front to see what he’s doing. He’s not there, but he walked about 100 feet further to privately eat the sandwich. He waved at me and I nodded back to him.
Another time, a kid asked for money for a soda. I said, “What soda would you like?” Not missing a beat, he said “Dr. Pepper”. Got him the super size.
No money. Just the things they want to get with it.
I buy the Big Issue from a couple of regulars. It’s not a great magazine, and sometimes I don’t bother reading it but I like being annoyed by the movie reviews (I’ve yet to agree with one) and the sudoku is a challenge.
When I first moved over to London (from Auckland) I forked over a fair bit of change, which I don’t do any more. One time I gave young guy - really grubby - a few pounds and saw him in Sainsbury’s five minutes later, buying a sandwich and a slice of cake. I got a big thumbs up from him as I went past. Most of the time though - especially in Soho - I know the money was just going on booze or drugs.