Go ahead and spoil 'The Happening' for me.

Cafe Society
1

So I saw a part of M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Happening’ the other day at a friend’s house. I don’t guarantee the accuracy of this summary, but here goes:

Starts out in a place like Central Park, and a pair of high school/college girls are enjoying the sunshine and the day. The wind picks up- just a little- and one of the girls comments that people seem to be tearing their flesh off at the edge of the park. Hmmm? Sorry, I was too busy absentmindedly driving this hairpin into my jugular to catch that, say it again please? gak

So Markey Mark and his loose band of acquaintances set out to avoid this disaster. They know something is going down, but that is pretty much all they know. People are killing themselves all over the Northeast- Hey! Last one to jump off the 5th floor is a rotten egg! Seriously, they jump in crowds. splat

So they get an idea from the ‘data’ available from TV and radio broadcasts to move out. In stressful situations Markey Mark recites his version of the Scientific Method as if he were praying it over Rosary beads- snark! And the suicide disease makes no sense as far as I saw- How about the cop shoots himself in the head? Hey, you’re not using that gun anymore? Mind if I pick it up and shoot myself in the head too? blat And so on.

But they eventually decide that the disease is seeking smaller and smaller populations last. So… maybe plants are sending out some kind of suicide pheromone to deal with the human threat? The plant expert guy who plays Mozart to his greenhouse garden endorses this theory… but once the wind kicks up he drives his Jeep into a tree, and the survivor of the crash picks up the broken glass to slash his wrists with. squirt

So… Maybe it is too many people in one place? Markey Mark seemed to have some success with this strategy. Even when they get out into the middle of nowhere, people are still killing themselves left and right. They find themselves literally at a crossroads, with travelers from every direction bearing the same tale. So, the only place to go is… more rural!

Eventually the characters are depicted as literally running away from the wind- a giant fan is applied to bend some blades of grass, the actors act horrified, and this low-budget ‘psychological horror’ flick advances towards its conclusion.

Only, around the part where some guy decides to cause the riding lawnmower to run over himself, head-to-foot style splat, my friends couldn’t take any more. They turned it off. It was their house. I went along with it, even though I am perhaps the most curious one about what was causing all the minor characters to kill themselves.

So. Go ahead and tell me. I doubt I will rent this one for the last 10 minutes- it just doesn’t seem like one for the ages. Why was everyone killing themselves? Plants? Aliens? God? Angels? Bees? Nukes? Other???

Please put me out of my misery and spoil the ending for me.

2

If I remember correctly it was something like the earth ‘protecting’ itself by making people kill themselves, since we are destroying the planet and all. So it was the planet!

3

Yeah, it was either The Planet as a whole, or just plants in general got pissed off and decided to do something about the plague of humanity, until they decided to stop killing for whatever reason. There was theorizing about how it might be a warning and how it might start again elsewhere if we didn’t shape up. At the end of the film there was another “omg is it starting again?” teaser.

4

Also, Mark Wahlberg and Zoey Dashu-i-can’t-be-bothered-to-look-up-the-spelling somehow survive the angry plants with the power of love, which makes her get passed the whole, “Don’t want to be married to you, have children, or let your penis anywhere near me” thing, so that she can be a rightfully subserviant wife and babymaker.

The real question is, why are you eyein’ my lemon drink?

5

So… it didn’t really add up at the end any more than for the first 4/5 of it. At least I saw that coming!

6

Watch it all! It is so spectacularly stupid, it’s really worth it.

7

I hear you whispering up there… planning on stealing something?

8

The Happening, or as we like to call it, The Crappening. Ugh, what a waste of a couple of hours…

9

Ok, don’t understand this comment either… Want me to sit somewhere else?

10

Reference.

An clearly it’s because I’m thirsty from all those handy, protein-rich hot dogs.

11

the only way to really enjoy The Happening

12

“What? No!”

NSFW(language). Watching to the end is well worth it (2 minutes long).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvmytj56Tck

13

I don’t know. It might be ‘annoying’ stupid more than ‘entertaining’ stupid.

I’m disappointed that it was angry plants after all. The plant guy had no survival strategies beyond, ‘run away!’ A bunch of suicides talked about math right before their deaths… I’d prefer a clever plot twist to mislead me. Yah I know, Markey Mark wasn’t there to witness all of those scenes, but it is us who is watching the movie, ok? And, weren’t there people in gas masks who killed themselves anyway? Kinda portrays an airborne toxin as the wrong answer, in a your-universe-is-logically-inconsistent kind of way. It is the kind of universe in which a guy obsessed with the scientific method would not come out on top.

‘Love conquers plants’ is not a unique idea in the human experience. Another poster in the universal love thread posted a link to metta, the relevant part below:

At least that story is internally consistent. An airborne toxin which defeats gas masks but is defeated by love is not. If the movie is somehow a Buddhist commentary, I guess I need someone to walk me through it.

LOL! I am glad there are some laughs in this. How about we all meet up in person to finish this conversation. Crapplebee’s, anyone? :wink:

Anyway. I’m resisting clicking on the ending, but will probably give in later.

14

Aha. That looks familiar now. I’ll have to look for a chance to use both of these lines in everyday life.

15

I don’t think the plants were actually defeated by love, more that their temporary threatening phase was over - Marky-Mark and Zoe’s characters weren’t even in the same room, IIRC, but were calling through some kind of ventilation - but that adds an even more awful interpretation on top of this already super-lame film.

16

To answer Try2B Comprehensive, the characters wearing the gas masks (random old couple watching the news) didn’t hear the plants-are-killing-everyone theory. The news was still speculating that it was terrorism but that was becoming less and less likely.

And to Ferret Herder, the plants weren’t defeated by love. The news predicted that the plants would stop there attack at a certain time and by coincidence Mark and Zooey emerged from their shelters after the deadline. Which makes much more sense (not really).

Don’t know why I’m getting into this. I liked John Leguizamo in it and that was it.