I was on a flight where the flight attendant actually got on the intercom and announced “If you can’t lift up your bag to get it down the aisle or stow it in the overhead, then it is no longer considered a carry on and we will come and check it for you”
I haven’t flown for work for a long time. For the last 6-7 years, all of the flights I’ve taken have been for vacations. Nothing harshes a post-vacation mellow mood like the flight home.
Something about that crowded aluminum tube seems to make some folks retreat into a “me vs. everybody else” mindset. They cannot be that stupid all of the time. The only thing more annoying to me than the boarding is the arrival. It should be so simple - grab your bag from the overhead and walk to the door. You can rearrange your crap and meet your travel partners on the jet bridge.
I’ve found that a couple of foot tubbed-sized margaritas in an airport bar is a good antidote.
I was on standby for a Lufthansa flight, carry-on only. They measured it at the check-in counter and gave me a sticker saying it was legal. At the gate I guy went around with a portable scale measuring bags without stickers. (I think he didn’t need a ruler to find ones too big.) He made one guy gate-check his bag. Now that’s a good airline.
Considering the number of people with priority boarding these days, it hardly matters. I have heard some gate agents tell people to go to the back of the line, but it’s rare.
Isn’t always possible. Many airlines allow you to book two seats, but you can’t choose the seats. You have to call 24 hours before the flight and request adjoining seats, and you might be lucky.
Otherwise, enjoy them standing beside you in the aisle talking over you for half the flight. GrumpyBunny needs to be HappyBunny on airplanes.
On more than one occasion, when I have flown with family for a vacation, we have booked far in advance, chosen seats together, and when we get to the airport they have taken our seats away and spread us around. Did I mention I have Diamond Premier Special status on the airline? - doesn’t matter - for some reason moronic gate agents do this to families.
Sitting is easy. Bend in the middle.
Strange, how people don’t seem to understand the concept.
It’s two bends, Johnny, adding a whole 'nother level of complexity.
Well, I learned how from aliens.
Backpacks are even worse than roll-ons, because most of these morons can’t be bothered to unshoulder the fucking things. So every time they turn to look at something, here comes that fucking backpack to slap you upside the head. This is not restricted to airplanes, but also on every form of public transportation. I’ve been whacked with ski boots, tennis rackets, water bottles, you name it. I’ve taken to forcefully shoving back.
Then there are the idiots who have a bag that is so overstuffed that it won’t completely fit in the overhead bin. So they shove it in as far as they can and leave it for the flight attendant to deal with, who then has to hunt down the owner and tell them it’s going into the hold. Why wasn’t it caught at the gate? Beats me.
Announcement: At this time we will be boarding those holding ticketed seating for rows 45 to 60. Rows 45-60 only at this time. ::mob scene ensues as everybody rushes the gate::
Flying in parts of Africa can be fun. Everyone fights tooth and nail to get onto the plane, because they overbook and there isn’t any assigned seating. If the plane fill up and you’re not seated, you’re not leaving on that flight.
It helps if you haven’t put any bags or other belongings in the overhead compartment, and thus don’t have to worry about morons feverishly trying to mash in their oversized crap after the bin is full.
Can we include the “first time through airport security” people?
Oh, I have to take my jacket off? Oh, my shoes too? Oh, the liquids have to come out? Oops, I forgot about my metal belt buckle! Hold on, I also have more change on me than a gumball machine…OK, now everyone wait while stand directly at the other end of the conveyor belt and lace up my over-the-knee boots…
And you will find the assholes from row 32 have filled up your overhead bins.
Plus often the lead flight attendant will serve a drink or two before they close the door, which helps with the not going crazy waiting for everyone else to board.
Actually, this would be made a little easier if the fucking TSA could manage a bit of consistency, especially with regard to footwear and belts. The last five of six times i’ve flown, the policies on both of those items have been wildly inconsistent, varying from trip to trip, and from airport to airport.
On a trip recently, i was halfway through removing my shoes, only to be told it wasn’t necessary. The next time i flew, shoes had to come off. Same with my belt. I’ve taken to asking about those things when i arrive at the security area, just so i don’t get surprised when i’m about to walk through the scanner.
Not to mention another little pet peeve: if you’re gonna give us the PRE pass, give it to US. Not one of us. A husband and wife traveling on the same reservation should not be split like that. And how about giving us the PRE every frickin’ time instead of throwing darts at a number board? We signed up for the damn thing, we want it every time we fly.
And don’t get me started on screaming babies.
I’ve been yelled at by TSA for putting my shoes in a bin rather than just on the belt, and yelled at for putting my shoes on the belt rather than in a bin. I’ve been yelled at for taking all my electronics out of my laptop bag rather than just my laptop, and yelled at for just taking just my laptop out rather than all my electronics. I had one TSA agent pretend to be mystified by the brass brads that are standard on the corners of the seams on the pockets of jeans. Don’t even get me started on TSA’s inconsistency on belts . . .
I hate flying.
My work shoes (which I wear all the time and not just at work) are steel-toed with a puncture resistant steel shank in the sole. The shoes are always going to come off before I go through the arch. They are lace-ups and they will go inna tray because they really don’t want to have the laces bind up in the conveyor system. Belt and electronics go in same tray (electronics get worn on the belt, they come off with the belt, they stay with the belt). Keys and coins and metal wallet go in the smallish back pack I use for a carry on the moment I leave the car in the parking lot. That goes in a second tray (straps, tangling, etc.) I hate security theatre, but I’m typically through with a minimum of fuss.
-DF
People who do that should be forced to fly in the wheel well. That’s just deliberately being an asshole. Row 32 assholes place their bag by row 6. Row 6 then has his or her bag placed back at row 32 because all the front has been filled by people in the rear of the plane. Plane lands, row 6 can’t get out.
When I was flying weekly, I liked getting a row towards the front for the trip home. No checked baggage meant I could make a beeline for the taxi stand, so the faster I was off the plane the better. Little could annoy me more than the clusterfuck as soon as the seatbelts off sign lit up with row 32 tackling every row in front of him/her to get to their bag and off the plane while the row 6ers had to wait for every other fucking person to get off before they could get to their bag. With 4 trips a month, I could count on that happening at least once a month.
Actually, mixing things up a bit is part of the strategy. If everything is consistent, then people up to no good can plan around it. If it’s all “random”, it makes it a lot harder for the bad guys. Or so the theory goes.
That being said, when I flew at Christmas, I breezed through the TSA checkpoints, in both airports. Kept the shoes on, kept the belt, laptop stayed in the bag, no pulling out the quart bag of 3 oz. liquids. And I don’t have special privileges, just a regular old passenger. It was great!
Brilliant. “Lets allow potentially lethal weapons on board at random. What could possibly go wrong?”