Dancing sucks. But I submit that moshing is pretty cool. Takes no skill, expends maximum energy.
Not that I mosh anymore. The last Superchunk concert I went to – and Superchunk is a very mosh-worthy band – I found a seat where I had a good view of the band and I sat there for the whole damn time.
I’M OLD, TOO!
i dont want to dance,
dance with you baby no more!
coldfire, you’re going to hell.
I like to dance to certain songs… slow ones are best…
I like to dance to some fast songs… love to Jitterbug and Cotton-Eyed Joe… the ‘older’ versions, not this new versions they always play… bleck…
Before a six-pack… dont bother asking me… knee wont hold up… after six-pack… can cut a rug with the worst of them… lol
I do try to respect other’s feelings when they ask me to dance and i’m just not up for it at the time… and NEVER accept a dance from someone after I just turned someone else down… creates bad Karma… and when I’ve asked a guy to dance and he says he cant/doesnt/isnt up to it, etc… i just give him my biggest pouty face and go back and sit down… several have bought me a beer just to compensate… then they come over and we talk about hunting, cars, baseball, etc… I have a great time meeting new people! If later they decide they do want to dance, great… if not, then I’ve not lost a dance partner… I’ve gained a friend…and one can never have too many friends…smile
Seeing as my courtesy gland is underdeveloped, I’ll tell you about it when I spout this line off someday!
I like to wear a real long twisted sister type wig and paint my face black so nobody will recognize me. I go up to people rocking my head back forth like Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroid did dressed up on the train in “Trading Places” and say real loud “Babulli, babulli, buballi heh!” 
(it is so funny!) And peope just crack up!
Then I go nuts out on the dance floor and it is a blast. I mean I dance crazy and fast kind of like Jim Carey doesin the “Mask”. The most fun thing I like to do is swing my “hair” around wacking people with it especially my wife. She gets so mad and starts trying to wack me with hers. But “fake” hair just works better than “real” hair in wacking people 
. Our friends and people in general just crack when we start going at each other.
So to the original poster maybe just try and dance on halloween and make a spectacle of yourself because nobody will be able to recognize you. It is a BLAST!
Wildest Bill, I would pay good money to see you dance in the manner that you described.
I detest club dancing - I don’t like the music or the crowds, and I don’t feel comfortable out there bumping and grinding.
I also do competitive ballroom dance, which I love. But whenever I go, say, to an office party, everyone who knows that I’m a dancer wants to know why I’m not on the floor. I never know how to politely say that the music is undanceable for me, and further that there aren’t any men here who know how to lead, anyway.
I love to dance and I’ve taught several men how to dance. If you really hate it then don’t, but I’ve found most men just don’t know how and don’t want to be embarrassed, but once we become friends and they feel comfortable they will dance with only me to start with. Have seen several of my men friends that wouldn’t dance now asking women to dance. It’s great exercise.
When you say “good” what exactly do you mean?
I was always embarassed and uncomfortable dancing, but after a little practice - yes, alone in front of a mirror - eventually I think anyone can do the white man two-step well enough not to embarass himself. After a little encouragement from a friend and the help of a few relaxation agents, I started going out dancing for long stretches of time, like maybe midnight to noon (with a few breaks in there) every Saturday. Nowadays, I don’t really go out much more at all, but at least I know it’s not because I’m scared of embarassing myself.
I save that for the bedroom 
Just kidding!
(no, really, I’m just kidding. I swear)
Re: the OP… Preach on brother, preach on!
“Us white people invented moshing because we can’t dance.”
Ha! And I thought I was the only one who didn’t dance.
I hear ya, WildBill. A few months back a woman asked me if I wanted to dance. I smiled and politely declined. She backhanded me hard across the chest. Not a little thump, mind you, but a whack that might’ve drawn blood had it come across the face. Damn, but I didn’t have anything left in my glass to throw in her face. Would the glass itself have been overkill? Should a bottle be kept handy for breaking across the edge of the table? Nightclub etiquette is so confusing these days. Is not-dancing a capital offense?
I dance like a wombat kicked in the nuts. An old cartilage tear in one knee makes me a sore ruptured wombat. Surely such creatures aren’t in high demand.
Are they? 
I am glad this has been brought up. I need to express myself. I don’t want to dance either. Well, I might want to dance. If I wouldn’t end up in a fucking emergency room if I tried it.
I have two of the worst knees on the planet. Five reconstructive surgeries have not helped. So, I cannot dance. It is physically impossible. One, or both knees will jerk out of their sockets if I try, and leave me screaming on the floor, being trampled by other dancers, unable to get up, or walk. There is also the swelling… and the unfortunate way that fluid fills the injured knees…
This requires draining, with a very long needle. To get the rest of the swelling to go away, there are daily physical therapy treatments, including being ‘shocked’ by a machine, to get the correct muscles to contract and help draw away the remaining fluid.
During this time, there are crutches or maybe even a wheelchair to deal with. All of this costs a great deal of money. It is also extremely painful, and erodes away the remaining bits of my sanity.
So.
I cannot dance. I will not dance. I had better not dance.
But, when a guy asks and I say no, I am a bitch for not dancing with him. An explanation does not make a dent. Neither does revealing my six-inch and eight-inch long scars.
What would make a dent is an axe. But I try not to take those to clubs.
Usually.
Amen Wolfman! I’ll slow dance, two step, and waltz and occasionally fast dance but don’t try to fuckin’ force me to. I hate it when guys ask me to dance and I have to tell them no 3-4 times. What do I have to do to get you to stop asking me to dance. If I say, “Maybe later,” I’m giving you the false hope that I’ll dance with you at another time. If I say, “Fuck off,” I’m giving you the impression that I’m a bitch. So what do I have to do. When I tell you “No. I don’t want to dance,” it means just that… NO I DON’T WANT TO DANCE. So get the fuck away from me and leave me the fuck alone! Why is this so hard for guys to understand? (Not all guys, just the ones who won’t take No for an answer)
Thank you, Wolfman!
Fuck Kevin Costner, wolves don’t dance!!!
Don’t you think “Sore Ruptured Wombat” would make an excellent name for a dance band?
I love to dance, the more non-dancers just means there’s finally some room on the dance floor.
Orca, any objections if I decide I want this as my new sig?
Word!
I second this. Thanks for the description, Bill, that made me laugh so hard!