I was in full cleaning mode today and was attacking the office/computer/piano room. My ten year old was supposed to be occupying my 2 year old son so I could get this done. I hear something spill in the kitchen and run in to find my son in a huge puddle of Windex. He’d emptied the whole bottle onto the floor. He looks up at me with a big grin and says very proudly, “Mommy! I cleanin!” sigh
So I washed the floor with Windex and my office windows are still dirty, but I have a cute kid.
Yes, I had the bottle pushed back on the kitchen counter and had no idea he could unscrew the top to dump it.
I meant to add, please share your “I might have killed 'em if they weren’t so cute” stories.
Gee, now that I’ve responded to myself, I feel like I should have a cigarette or something…
Rabid munchkin smearing rolaid goo into the new navy blue couches?
Or sitting merrily on the kitchen table munching cat kibble from the bowl.
Or sitting in the bay window watching the kids next door play basketball except she has a crayon somehow and is drawing on the glass.
My 2 year old can get anything on the kitchen counter. She can get into the upper kitchen cabinets. She can climb the fridge like a rock climber. She can also scale the entertainment center or unzip the couch cushins. She can get over the baby gates with the creative use of chairs. She can open pretty much any container and all the windows.
We are in constant battle over us trying to make things less accessible for her and her figuring EVERYTHING out in about 6 minutes. I think I’m the only one thwarted by my munchkin proofing efforts. What am I going to do when the boy arrives?!
One thing that cracks us up heartily though is when we tell her something and she looks at us seriously and says ‘Oh … nice!’ and sounds just like the kid in the harvey windows commercial.
There was the day when Dweezil (then about 6) wanted to play with the hose in the backyard (fenced-in townhouse yard).
I figured sure, what trouble can he get into, and went back upstairs.
15 minutes later I went to check on him and discovered he’d been spraying the back door.
Which was open, covered only by the sliding screen door.
We spent most of an hour mopping up all the toys, carpet etc. that were soaked.
Then there was the time a few months later when we were out and left the kids with a babysitter.
She noticed water dripping onto a kitchen counter, from the ceiling.
She went upstairs and found our bathroom floor flooded. Dweezil had been playing with the sink, and closed up the drain - then went away w/o shutting off the water.
Yesterday Big Hokkaido Kid (6) was sitting on the sofa eating bread and making a real mess. So he was handed the vacuum cleaner and told to clean it up. Of course he started messing about and he “accidentally” sucked up one of his socks.
So Hokkaido Dad spent the next 10 minutes winkling this bunched up sock out of the vacuum hose and simultaneously lecturing Big Kid about his stupidity. All this was watched by Little Hokkaido Kid (3).
This morning, it is hot so he was wandering round in the nude. Suddenly he came to me with an expression of panic on his face, clutching his balls.
“Mummy. Sock gone up my chin-chin” (Willy.)
I was able to reassure him and he went off happy again but all day I have had these very disturbing thoughts about what sort of body image he has.
SUPER-SUCKING CHIN-CHIN on the loose! Yeay!
Not to be outdone, Big Kid got out of the bath this past winter and raced for the heater to warm up. I came into the room to find him standing right up against the fire guard, with his willy threaded through the metal mesh. Big Kid looks up at me brightly and says, “Look Mummy, a chin-chin and NO BODY!”
That had me literally laughing out loud.
After having three girls, my son is a complete and utter shock to my poor, tired, old system. Although looking at tanookie’s post, it seems there are girls that do these things too!
He is in constant motion unless enthralled with a dinosaur or spiderman movie. I keep telling myself he’ll outgrow the need to touch, climb, jump on, attack, unlock, undo, throw, stick stuff in everything in sight. I know I’m probably delusional about this, but it gets me through the day.
Yes, it sounds horribly sexist to say that “boys are …(whatever)” and “girls are…whatever” and before I had kids I firmly vowed to bring whatever I got up in a similar manner. But the bald fact is they are different!
However, when I get to envying my friend’s three girls (she can tell them not to touch stuff, and they DON’T!!) she gets to muttering darkly about teenagers. Ho hum. I think we all get the same amount of crap, just at different times and in different doses.
My boys are hilarious, and just as Salem says, they have to be cute to ensure their survival. I have been so close to doing something on so many occasions!
I apologize to the dog pretty much daily and explain the kids really are not some kind of sadistic prank on our part!
The only time this kid slows down is when she is asleep. She even eats in motion. If she is totally starved she can sit for about 5 minutes and mow before the fidget machine starts. Sometimes she has to eat a bite and run in a big circle around the kitchen and eat another bite. (Thank you for crayons in restaurants!)
