Okay, this isn’t really direct at them, but trather the person in management who makes the counselors read off of cue cards. I realize that the counselors aren;t supposed to bond for life with the people they talk to but c’mon.
Here’s the situation: I had just gotten released from the hospital after a serious car accident, and was dealing with that and the fact that I would have to go to court and my sentencing hearing and possibly end the day in jail, so I wasn’t in the best of moods.
So, after some deliberation I called the suicide hotline number, (Oh yeah, they aren’t suicude helpline’s they are crisis counselors.) and got to talking with a guy.
After about 10 minutes I really got the feeling that he was reading from a script, just from the tone of his voice and the way that he paused when he spoke. It REALLY got annoying, but it also kind of took my mind off of killing myself which was the point of the whole thing.
So, looking back on this, it’s actually a really lame rant, but I do have a question: Do crisis counselors work from a script of any kind?
Again, sorry for the lameness and I will try to be more outraged next time.
I don’t know about in the US, but one of our major crisis lines here trains its counsellors to use “reflective listening” and ONLY reflective listening. Using any other technique will get the counsellor into trouble with their supervisor.
And yes, it can be very frustrating when you’re in crisis and the counsellor doesn’t seem to be acknowledging you in any individual kind of way.
Hope you’re feeling better there WS. I don’t believe in that cyber hug crap (although I’ve been accused of being too fluffy on these boards by some of the more geriatric types), so I’ve going to give you…A CYBER WEDGIE!!!
Hey there, WS. I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling so in the pits and I hope you’re seeing some good things ahead.
I can’t say I’ve never been there nor can I say I completely understand. Human pain and suffering is quite a thing, isn’t it? You hang in there. And it’s cool you posted and turned to some definitely unscripted folks. Let us know how you’re doing.
Thanks for the kind words everyone, but I have to say that the whole suicide-helpline thing happened 18 months ago.
Sorry, but I should have mentioned that up front:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
Now, of course all I have to deal with is my mom’s death this past March. But I’m getting along and will actually start working for actual, real money next week.
In defense of said scripts – dealing with suicidal callers on the phone is hard. It’s very easy for the person on the other end of the line to believe that anything that they say could ‘set the person off’. Scripting is a way of taking the responsibility for another human life off of the shoulders (at least, partly) of the person who answers the phone.
Also, for liability purposes, there are probably some questions that they need to ask you (have you done anything to yourself already, do you have any weapons, do you have means to kill yourself immediately). In today’s litigous society, they can’t afford just to wing it.
Don’t feel as if the person didn’t care. On the contrary – if they didn’t care, there wouldn’t be a need for a script to help them help you. I’m sorry that their inexperience shined through, but they’re there to save lives and not necessarily to be your friend (sorry).
I have to report that it varies according to the line. When I worked at a gay support line, we had a protocol but we were expected to memorize it and sound natural while conversing with the person, which I was usually able to do (although I never got a suicide call).
Y’know, I can understand why they have a script. I’ve dealt with friends/roommates in this situation before, and I’ve come up with some pretty boneheaded responses to questions. A script probably helps keep them from saying things like “Um…just don’t.”
Although, I like my personal favorite: “If you kill yourself, I’m bringing you back, kicking your ass, and killing you again. So just don’t.” Works pretty well, too–I haven’t lost a one yet.
I share your frustration! Where I live, the crisis line is contracted out–out of state, apparently, as the last time I called (with a screaming panic attack, banging head against the furniture, severe muscular spasms, all that) the “counselor” couldn’t pronounce the name of the town or the county and couldn’t spell the name of the street I lived on (it’s a simple, six-letter, Spanish conquistador, okay?). After 10 minutes of this jerkpud just trying to get my address, I hung up.
Luckily, one of the staff where I live was passing by and heard me screaming, so she called the police and told them that I’d already had five suicide attempts, so could they come out here and check on me?
I guess from now on I save my crisis moments for the hours that my clinic is open. :rolleyes:
Two weeks ago one of my friends committed suicide. He never told anyone he was thinking about it, never hinted, never acted odd, continued making plans to go to parties up until the day before he took his life.
He was, apparently, pretty serious about killing himself. He went to a lot of effort to make sure nobody would suspect it and try to stop him.
I don’t know if I really have a point here other than that if someone’s calling a help line or a counselor or something, they’re looking for help. They’re looking for a reason not to kill themselves. Because IME from the two friends I’ve had who did commit suicide, when they really mean it and they really want to die, they don’t look in any direction that might stop them.
If they’re looking for help and talking about it, I think (and this is just my opinion, IANA Psychiatrist), script or no, someone talking to them at all will help.
I volunteer for a runaway/youth hotline. We don’t have a set script, in the sense we don’t have a set of questions we must ask of each and every caller, but we do have a general guideline for calls. Roughly, it’s to find out what the issue is, explore facts and feelings, and then work with the caller to figure out solutions to the problem, then take any steps that are necessary, such as a conference call to a shelter or family member. Calls go every which way, but I’ve found the guideline useful as a fallback.
There is a special procedure for suicide calls, as someone else mentioned, that includes questions like “Have you made a plan?” and “Is anyone else there with you?” Since we’re not a suicide hotline per se, we only touched on suicide calls for one day in training. Given the low number of suicide calls we get, I for one know I would grab onto the suicide-call guidelines like a life raft if such a call came in. It’s not a situation that bears mishandling.
