Going for a colonoscopy - what's it like?

Never had a problem with farting. Never had a problem waking up, though I think the general is more to keep you still than for pain, since there is none. Around 17 years ago I had a sigmoidoscopy, I think, or anyway a procedure where I got a local and was awake to see the TV pictures of my intestines. It was awesome.

I really don’t see how they could clean you out in 3 hours. I agree with the general consensus that the cleaning the day before is much worse than the procedure. For me it is because I don’t like to drink so much of that crap in rapid succession. The pooping itself is fine.

Nonsense. My safety, the safety of others, and keeping them from being sued if I kill myself or others are all preserved by keeping me in the facility until I have recovered from the procedure.

If you would like to leave early, and your wife or whatever is there to take you away, that’s fine. I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with being refused the procedure because I do not have someone who can take me away while I am still woozy.

Come on, VOW, don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel!

IIRC, I used the lemon-lime “flavor” packet, which turned it into vaguely-lemon-lime-flavored snot. I was more or less okay until the final glass, then . . .

There’s an hysterical scene in Bell, Book and Candle (which I tried to find on YouTube, but the movie seems to have been taken down) in which Jimmy Stewart has to drink an absolutely disgusting potion to free himself from Kim Novak’s love spell. However, each time he moves his lips toward the bowl his hands reflexively move it away, and he ends up chasing it with his head. My description doesn’t do it justice, but that’s what happened to me. My hand simply refused to move the glass to my mouth. (Turned out it wasn’t necessary: even without it I got the coveted “Bowel prep: good” on my report.)

Like in Harry Potter when Harry feeds Dumbledore the horcrux juice?

Hmm Wikipedia says twilight sedation means you’re conscious, but don’t remember it. Sounds like being drunk. Does this mean you can access memories, but not record them? Can’t this be used as truth potion? Wondering if I should feel bad about having a terrible experience, but not remembering it.

AaronX, be very damn sure you investigate before you start this procedure what it might cost you, if you haven’t already. There were various news articles around just in the last few days or so, to this effect: A colonoscopy is classified as a preventive procedure, which many insurance policies cover at no charge to you. But if the doctor finds a polyp up your behind and removes it, then the procedure is suddenly a therapeutic treatment and no longer just a preventive procedure – which may get billed very differently. In that case, you may have to pay some co-payment, or possibly some huge amount of money against your deductible.

Be sure you ask about this before you start. That camera might not be the biggest pain in the ass you get with this.

Here are some quotes from two articles I found:

Preventive care: It’s free, except when it’s not

Confusion alert: When prevention and treatment mix, who pays?

One way they have of cleaning you out is with Phospho-Soda, as I had done several years ago. However, the Wikipedia article (cited below) seems to suggest that they have discontinued this. Anyway, in case they do that, here is my experience:

I had a sigmoidoscopy several years ago. They gave me Phospho-Soda to clean me out, exactly as described in this Wikipedia article. My experience was that there was nothing particularly unpleasant about it, other than being starvingly faint with hunger by the time of the procedure. (As we started the procedure, the technician kindly gave me a little single-serving bottle of apple juice.)

It goes something like this: You drink the glop they give you, twice, several hours apart, the day before. There is nothing particularly vile about it. Then you stay within arm’s distance from your bathroom the rest of the day and night!. You are also supposed to drink some very large amount of water with it, or at various time intervals.

This produces a case of industrial-strength diarrhea, very quickly. But it’s not painful, like you would expect. No cramps or other discomfort, at least not as I experienced it. You just get the runs.

And I do mean you get the runs! And you DO need to stay right near your bathroom.

At first, it just comes out mud, like you would expect diarrhea to be. But after a while, as you get cleaned out inside, it gets clearer and clearer. After several hours of this, all you have have is a torrent of substantially clear colorless fluid cascading out your rear, like a knocked-over fire hydrant.

This stuff works by causing a major imbalance in your body fluid electrolytes, with the result that water is drawn out of your bloodstream, through the intestinal lining, into the intestines, whereupon it flows down and out the back end. There is a real and serious possibility of getting seriously dehydrated. That’s why you MUST drink plenty of water. It really does clean you out like drano.

My understanding (at the time) was that this could possibly cause some kidney damage, which was occasionally even known to produce total and irreversible kidney failure. The product literature acknowledged this, but claimed that it was VASTLY RARE, out of all the millions and millions of times the product was used this way. If you have any already-existing renal problems, this isn’t the way to go.

I got the impression (just an impression, it didn’t actually say this) that maybe the rare cases of serious kidney damage perhaps happen because the patient didn’t drink enough water.

Anyway, the above-cited Wikipedia article states that Phospho-Soda was recalled a few years ago because of this, with the implication that it isn’t used any more to clean you out. If so, that may be too bad. It was thorough and painless, as opposed to some of the other stuff they use, that others have described up-thread. And once you get all cleaned out, there is no further problem with it – at least in my case, it took several hours (this was the evening before), and then I was able to go to bed comfortably without discomfort, and no “accidents” or having to get up even ten minutes all night.

So, I’ll leave you with that to think about. I guess you won’t know what variety of drano they will give you until you get it.

Ok, thanks for the warning. Still no idea how they plan to flush me in 3 hours. Hope it’s not in tablet form though, I can’t swallow tablets.

Same here. I didn’t know you had to have a ride home and I didn’t want to reschedule so I just talked the doctor into doing it without any sedative. They don’t do that often in the U.S. It hurt badly at times but it wasn’t unbearable. I maxed out at about a 8 on the pain scale a few times for a few seconds but it was just mildly uncomfortable when they weren’t making the turns with the scope or blowing in air. I liked that I was able to watch and I just got to walk away with no residual pain at the end. It shouldn’t be bad at all for somebody who gets meds with it.

I’ve had two. The worst part of it was the drizzling shits caused by the laxative. The actual procedure was a non-event. I laid down on the table in as comfortable a position as I could get into, they squirted some stuff in the IV and I turned off like a light switch. When I came to, they had me wait for a while until I let a good-sized fart, then turned me loose to go home. I had to have someone drive me, though - they were adamant about that.

A real pisser is how adamant they can be about just WHO is allowed to drive you home. I had an upper GI endoscopy a while back, with anasthetic. I have nobody locally to call upon to drive me home, unless I badger some random neighbor. That’s exactly what I had to do.

Could they just call a taxi for me? Nope.
Could I take a city bus? Nope.
Dial-a-Ride? Nope.
One of those private medical transport mini-vans you see all over these days? Nope.

Picky picky. What do they damn need, somebody who will walk me right into my own bedroom and tuck me into bed?

As I recall (admittedly, a little vaguely), I think 3 hours was more-or-less right.

If you have a morning appointment, they may have you do it the evening before. If you have an afternoon appointment, they may have you do it that morning.

ETA: In my case, though, I’m talking about a sigmo, which is not the same as a full colonoscopy. YMMV

Dave Barry describes it well:
http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/v-fullstory/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html

Same reason you leave with a caregiver after we’ve done the CT scan of your noggin when you hit your head: you need supervision, but you don’t need *trained medical provider *supervision. Trained medical supervision is expensive, and we need the bed.

While they know that can’t enforce it, it’s more than just a ride home most post-colonoscopy discharge orders suggest. They suggest that a competent adult be present with you for the next 1-4 hours to monitor your condition. Not only could you be woozy from the anesthetic (but most people aren’t woozy at discharge), the doctor could have torn a hole in your intestinal wall. If you’re alone, you may not be able to call an ambulance as your abdomen fills with blood and/or fecal material. But an untrained person can call an ambulance if your belly starts swelling and getting hard, or if you start rolling on the floor moaning in pain.

I’ve only had one, and I was mortified when I realized I was in the middle of a loud extended fart when I was coming around in the recovery room. The person across from me sounded like a live tuba. I had planned on taking a taxi home, but because I did not have someone to accompany me, I wasn’t allowed to leave until 2 -3 hours after the procedure. They needed the bed, so I had to sit in a row of chairs across from the nurses station until they said I could go.

The prep was the worst part. The only thing I remember from the procedure was 10, 9 … then coming to in recovery. No pain or discomfort.

As is consensus, the procedure itself is nothing, but the prep is a bitch.

Regards,
Shodan

All the more reason to keep me around for 1-4 hours.

My 2 cents:

3 hour prep and no diet instructions? That ain’t a colonoscopy. Might be a sigmoidoscopy–I’ve never had one–but you can’t prep your whole colon in a few hours.

I’ve never had GoLytely either; luckily for me, the hospital I use disapproves of it. They prefer a mixture of Miralax and lemon-lime Gatorade (NOT an orange or red flavor of Gatorade). It still isn’t fun, but is easy to finish (only half a gallon) and doesn’t seem to induce nausea.

The drugs were midazolam and fentanyl, considerably stronger than mere Valium. I wasn’t completely out–sometimes “conscious sedation” is exactly that–but I don’t recall any pain except at the start when the gas was pumped in, and that wasn’t severe, just a moderate gut-cramping sensation. I remember the procedure, but vaguely and in fragments, the way you remember a dream. Being “conscious but unable to move” only happens to patients given paralyzing drugs for actual surgery; to the best of my knowledge those drugs are never used for endoscopy.

Luckily my hospital also doesn’t enforce the dragooned-driver rule. I don’t think they could if they wanted to (or more accurately, if their lawyers wanted to); it’s an urban hospital in a dense city where lots of folks don’t own cars, the subway stop is 2 blocks away and the bus stops are closer than that. People would just lie and get mass transit anyway. I did have to get a friend to escort me out (“You’re not leaving alone”), but I was quite well enough for her to walk me home, with a stop for dinner on the way (I really needed food by then).

My personal experience was that the colonoscopy was nothing (I draw a blank from the time I was on the table just before the procedure started to when I became aware I was in the recovery area talking to Mrs. J. My gastroenterologist is great when it comes to sedating meds. As for the prep, not bad at all - I was limited to broth the day before and took a bottle of Miralax, which had no unpleasant effects aside from my having an impressive case of the runs.

I have no idea how they could hope to clean out the OP within three hours of the colonoscopy starting, and not having instructions about eating beforehand sounds odd to me too. As for post-colonoscopy gas, I don’t recall that as a problem, but some people report having excess gas/cramps later on. I definitely would not schedule a job interview for later in the day after a colonoscopy, unless you’re applying for a position where wooziness and flatulence are considered a plus (i.e. Wal-Mart greeter).

The facility may well lack the bed space/observation area space needed to keep multiple colonoscopy patients around for hours after the procedure.

He certainly does: “Space shuttle launch.” “Need seat belts on your toilet.”

Having been there, both descriptions are spot-on.

Like most people, I did the clean-out routine the day before my procedure. Unlike most, I had the unfortunate experience of not being completely out of it when they started the colonoscopy. They gave me some medication that made me somewhat loopy, but I was still very much aware when they started. When I started saying “Ow, ow, ow!” they pumped more anesthesia into me, and I was, thankfully, unaware of anything else until much later. At that point they told me that they were unable to do a complete colonoscopy, so the next step was a barium enema and x-ray. This was also very uncomfortable.

I wish you better luck than I had.