["When I get older losing my hair many years from now will you still be sending me valentine, birthday greeting bottle of wine?" SHUT UP!!Rolls eyes]
In the last year or two everything has started to hurt - shoulders, hips, right knee, and sometimes the elbow. I don’t understand why - my parents tell me that they have no joint pains. I’m now taking pills for my blood pressure. I’m also watching my father slowly die from a terrible, awful disease for which there is no cure.
[Excuse me for a moment. Goes over to front door, opens it and steps out onto the
portchHEY YOU, GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!Returns to the computer]
I worry that I don’t have enough saved for retirement. (it looks like I’ll run out of money at age 79) and that I don’t have anyone to fall back on if I get really sick.
Fortunately I still have a job but wish I can retire.
These are the “Golden years”!!!?? I don’t see why they would have that name.
It’s just propaganda. Well-meaning propaganda, but propaganda. Getting old sucks, with relatively few “ifs”, “ands” and “buts.” Not none - I rather enjoy giving less of a shit about inconsequential things and not stressing about them like I did when I was younger and more inexperienced. But for every positive, there are any number of equally or more potent negatives.
The ideal of the Golden Years is being able to actually retire financially solvent and comfortable enough that you can decline as gracefully as possible, enjoying your new freedom from the work force. But a.) that’s not fully achievable for many and b.) even for those that can, it’s insufficient compensation for getting old . Just better than nothing if you can pull it off.
I’m 64 also (and have the same damn song in my head, thank you). Honestly, I’m in almost ridiculously good health and I look forward to being 70. And 80. I can’t take credit for my good health other than going for lots of long walks. My parts aren’t under warranty any more, any more than yours are.
Here’s a slightly more optimistic view. I’m 71, and I’m in great health. I have AFib, but take some pills and it doesn’t affect my life at all. I can still walk for miles without getting tired. I still have all my hair, though it is a bit grey. My wife and I have a contract for a book, I’m judging a book contest, I’m involved with a big technical conference, I have a column in an IEEE magazine, and I’m webmaster and Zoom master for my local writer’s group.
My only complaint is not having enough time.
I think we age at different rates. I matured late, (maybe not yet) but I’m aging slower than a lot of people.
I know people on the conference committee older than I am who are still going strong.
The worst thing - friends have this habit of dying.
It’s not just the years, it’s the mileage. I’m 65 but I’m a high mileage type. It’s not a ton of fun, for sure. Especially now, with getting a rather daunting cancer diagnosis, plus the side effects of the treatment of that. Even before that, between joints degenerating, balance deteriorating, vision declining, etc. it was no picnic.
Still, life has its pleasures, so I’m committed to continuing to do the next right thing.
Wait, what?? Do we know about this @Qadgop? Wishing you all the best.
I am 64, at least until next month, which is also when I will retire. I am comfortable with my finances regarding retirement, but I am leery of what physical hells await me.
It is strange. I have so long been in the hurry-up mode of counting the days toward retirement. Now I wonder how I will feel when, once retired, the days continue to zoom by.
I do worry about finances. Objectively, I’m fine. But my marriage partner has never been exactly on the same page as me about money, so it’s a constant struggle.
As for health, I am also objectively healthy, and fit-ish. I go to the gym regularly. But I find that my stamina and energy levels are no where near where I want them to be AT ALL. I worry about that, a lot. I may have many years ahead of me, but I fear I won’t be able to enjoy them fully. I have an older friend who has not lost a step, as it were, and I just can’t keep up with him.
Well said @Tamerlane . I’m 62. I still get around pretty good and can enjoy myself but as George Carlin said ‘Don’t sweat the petty stuff…’
It’s not apathy though. Not at all. But after years and years it can be ‘Whatever, been there done that’.
My 93 year old mother passed 5 months ago. I’m managing her estate. Taking care of stuff. Luckily, she was neat and orderly right to the end. My father was not, so I know what that’s like.
My brother digitized all of her 35mm slides. I’m working on the 8mm film. It’s a bit of a tedious and slow process. A 6" reel of 8mm film takes 3 hours to digitize. Also taking care of mom’s final taxes. Then I have to do my Wife’s and mine.
Work is fine, and I mostly just keep things on course for myself and others. It would be foolish to take on big projects for myself that can sometimes take years to complete. I’ll let the younger folk do that and am happy to advise. I’m fine with that.
I’m not semi-retired and still put in an average of 40 hours a week. But it sort of feels like semi-retired.
Coworkers are afraid I’m going to retire, so I’m making training videos of the stuff I manage (that was my choice). Thirty years in the same ‘job’. Programming at the same company. Of course things have changed a little bit in that time
Anyway, I work from home now (COVID fixed the ridiculous need for me to commute to work). I make my own hours, I sleep better and worry less. I can work from pretty much anywhere.
I’m another 64yo nearing retirement. I have some chronic manageable conditions, take some maintenance meds, wear hearing aids, and will need a cataract fixed in the next couple of years.
I can’t run as long, nor jump as high as I used to. I’ve got a bit less hair than in my youth, but it’s the same shade of gray it was when I was 30. I can still have sex more than once a day on the rare occasions she’s in the mood for that much fun. Thank goodness for modern meds!
OTOH, one of my friends / neighbors died a couple nights ago. He was 84. Then again, he’d been at the morning community water aerobics 3 days previously. He knew he was winding down, moving slow and thinking slower. But he pushed back good-naturedly against the Sands of Time as long as he could.
IMO/IME there’s some differences between the me of age 24 and the me of age 64. The current Guy is more relaxed, more content, and a lot wealthier, albeit somewhat less healthier. The 84yo Guy of my future is the one I’m worried about. He’ll be a LOT more different and a LOT less healthier than current Guy.
The ride downhill will only accelerate. So do all you can to keep the brakes applied and get your money’s worth out of every day.
Every single day somebody who’s exactly your age drops dead unexpectedly. Try not to be that person and try to enjoy what you have while you have it. I may not live to see today’s sunset. I think I will, and I’ll be darn surprised if I don’t. But every day somebody in my shoes gets that unwelcome surprise.
Good luck to all of us. Especially the OP who it seems is struggling more than most.
That one brought me up short, too! Did he talk about this somewhere and I missed it?
I’m 74 and I guess these are my Golden Years. I’m in reasonably good health after a short bout with breast cancer in 2015. I have enough money (and income, thank goodness) to manage okay. I was Dead Broke in my 30s, so I never get over the wonder of being able to pay ALL my bills every month and have plenty of $$ left over. I’m retired, and I also never get over the wonder of waking up every morning and not having to go to work. I am a widow with no family-- no kids, siblings, no extended family at all. And no Significant Other. I miss being in love and being loved. Compared to many in my age group, my life is a picnic in the park on a sunny day. I have no legitimate complaints.
Yeah Thelma. In my late 20’s and early 30’s I was BARELY scrapping along. But I was making a house payment. Many today can’t do that or even think about it. I was driving an old soft top jeep in bitterly cold conditions and trying to figure out how to keep gas in it. But I had a vehicle to get me to work.
I also wear hearing aids. Tinnitus. I have really bad tinnitus. Sucks.
BUT since having my cataracts redon, I see better than I ever have. Seriously. I started wearing glasses in 3rd grade. I don’t need anything now. No reading glasses, contacts, nothing. That’s freaking wonderful.
I have a 69 yo cousin that also has cataracts. She is a big reader so that must be nearly impossible for her. I and her sister are trying to get her to get it fixed. But she won’t even talk about it. Some folks are afraid, I understand that. But it’s really easy. It’s also the most common surgical procedure in the US. It’s also a complete game changer.
Aren’t we a world of contrasts!! At 65 I am currently feeling a bit less enthusiastic because I just got more of my neck fused and 6 weeks in a collar is uncomfortable, but there’s a bright side: it’s an investment in my future. I’m retiring soon with enough money, and my biggest ambitions have been improving my hiking and my volunteering. No life threatening health conditions.
People often think of their lives in intervals punctuated by events like marriage, births, maybe a serious accident. I figure one event that may punctuate life is when you figure out what will probably kill you. Of course, there are always surprises, but many of us shift to knowing it’ll probably be a question of when X does us in. Well, I still don’t have an X staring me in the face, and I am consciously appreciative. I don’t want to learn my likely X and, only then, start treasuring the days when I didn’t know it.
I just retired at 70. I’ve saved enough (with a big assist from my parents’ estate) and it looks like I’m making more money now than when I was working just on Social Security (I also have a 401k that I’m not using yet).
My health is good. A few long-term conditions, but no problems getting around. I have a free gym membership, so I may try that. My health insurance is good and includes dental and vision (it’s through my former employers).
My wife does have some serious health issues and I have to spend time helping her, but she’s stable at this point.
I keep busy with my writing and am finding things to do, mostly at the library.
There is the young-old (60s and prob most of 70s) and then there is the old old (about 80+, altho that can vary,certainly 85+ is old old for the vast majority). We are the young old (am 65), and it can be a mixed bag at our ages. As time goes on, we start to be alike in that bag, and it is Nature’s doing, and not much we can change about that.
I live for each day, and remind myself that many of my peers have already passed or are suffering with various health issues that will be permanent. I will join them one day, probably much sooner than I would like. Though, for many who are very ill, death is a relief. No one escapes the Grim Reaper, no matter how much money one has or how healthy one is or what plans one makes.
I do fret about the future, but I know the future might hold big challenges for me, so to fret is probably normal as long I am not stymied into inaction by it. I have enough money, am retired, and plan to do what I can to help others, and be a positive influence. Our old age is our time of creating a legacy, and I want to be remembered as a good person. I help my young folk with their modest financial and emotional needs; I can afford this and perhaps that is my legacy. Or maybe there is something out there I have yet to do. One can be very useful at this time of life, even in small way.
I don’t like the twinges and stiffness at all, but I swim and keep active, that helps. I keep my mind alive by much reading and visiting this site to get various POV and intelligent writing…and some laughs, too (many of you are so amusing!)
Yes, the golden years are just propaganda as some wise person stated earlier, but at least we can be aware of that fact and not fall for anything that is not the truth about this time of life.
. Just better than nothing if you can pull it off.
Did he talk about this somewhere and I missed it?