Yesterday, I got my tubal occlusion (Essure procedure) done. I’m so happy about it. It will take three months for my fallopian tubes to completely close, but the process has started and I’ll be sterile soon.
It was supposed to be a local anaesthetic, with additional sedation available in a drip, should it be needed. My gyn had stated that I probably would need a little extra sedation, because I hadn’t “loosened it up already, having six kids” (his words, not mine) and my cervix would be extra sensitive. Almost all the women in the test studies experienced “minimal” amounts of pain, while some had “moderate” amounts. Recovery was supposedly a case of just taking it easy for the rest of the day, then back to normal the day after.
What actually happened :
I had the local anaesthetic, and was wheeled into the operating theatre. I had my legs placed up in stirrups and turned my head to the side to watch the monitor (they have a mini camera go in with the inserts so they can place them by sight, and take in-situ photos) when I was hit by a blinding pain. They quickly upped my sedation levels, and all I can remember is moaning and trying to move as far away from my gyn as possible. It went very blurry then, I didn’t scream, but I did have tears in my eyes, and I was quietly moaning. I heard one of them say they couldn’t give me anymore sedatives, then I remember nothing. They apparently gave me a general anaesthetic and knocked me out completely. I woke up two hours later, and was wheeled to recovery, in a fetal position and in great pain.
Several hours passed, I was told that I couldn’t get any more pain killers. They were apparently worried and called the gyn for more info. They kept telling me I wasn’t supposed to be in this much pain. I kept thinking “No shit, I’ve read the studies, I know I’m not supposed to be in this much pain, but I damn well fucking AM” but what I actually said was “Ugghmmiajhhhha” thanks to the anaesthetic not having worn off completely.
They nearly decided to keep me in overnight, but then got me up and dressed and sent me on my way. I did the obligatory post-op spew on the way home (90 min drive) and was in pain the whole way, similar to period pain but a couple of (thousand) magnitudes worse.
By about 9pm, the pain had subsided to ‘painful period pain’ levels.
It’s now 9am the following day, and I’m feeling great. A little tender, but not in pain, as such.
So good things :
I’m sterile (or will be within three months)
I saw the photos of the insert in-situ, which looked amazingly cool.
I feel fine the following day.
Bad things :
My cervix was not impressed. It felt like they used heavy earth-moving machinery to open it.
My advice for others :
Private hospital, not public
Go for the general anaesthetic every time.
I will find out from my gyn what actually went wrong when I have my follow-up, but until then, my guess is that he hasn’t (to my knowledge) done this on a woman who hasn’t had children, and wasn’t aware how much my cervix wanted to remain tightly closed 
And now that I feel fine, the pain has subsided, I’m extremely happy to be spayed, even if the actual procedure was way more painful than I thought it would be. I’m feeling well enough that we’re considering going camping in a few hours, that’s how good I feel
So YAY for me, I’ve been snipped, corked, spayed, tubalised, sterilised, whatever you want to call it !
