Good Christian Woman I met yesterday

That’s what I usually find.
Although I consider myself I Christian of the Lutheran variety, I haven’t actually been to church lately. I’ve had a bit of a crisis of faith, but that’s my personal business. I don’t need other rpeaching at me that God will save me.

I do belong to the Church of the Golden Rule, Do Unto Others, What Goes Around Come Around, Play Nice With Others and Kharma’s Gonna Get You In The End, however.

No, because there are none.

I do the same thing when I’m at the beach “Oh Lord, please give me that hot brunette in the striped bikini, and please let it be Your will that she’s a bisexual contortionist who likes the Simpsons. Amen.”

People often ask me why they should believe that I speak the Word Of G-d. My answer applies here too.

“Read the story of Balaam. There’s precedent for G-d speaking through an ass.”

What’s his counter offer? :cool:

Mostly, it’s silence.

Occasionally, I wait a few seconds and everybody nearby begins laughing really hard for no apparent reason.

Once, I got a tap on the shoulder and a man with a cart told me “You’ll never get that girl. But, if you want something hot and satisfying have a free Hebrew National hot dog.”

And then there was the time a seagull snatched my yarmulke. I chased the bird, who dropped the yarmulke, which was blown by the winds. I almost caught it several times. Finally, I reached out, grabbed it and yelled “Gotcha!”. It was then that I noticed that my yarmulke had finally come to rest in the lap of a young woman. I began to apologize, and literally tripped over my own feet. I explained things. She laughed. I noticed that she was reading a Star Trek novel. After an hour of pleasant conversation, she asked to see my captain’s log. I assured her that I was fully functional. We went to her quarters and mated with all the frenzy of Denebian slime devils.

Wow, Doc, you meet* a lot of hot brunettes in striped bikinis. That’s good enough for me!

  • (o.k., obsess over, but that’s still one up on me - you don’t get that in Cubicle Land)

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Once, as a favor to a (now former) friend, I gave her younger brother a ride to the mall so that he could buy a birthday gift for her. He was such an embarrassment. He berated the sales clerks, tried to cheat the cashiers and talked down to everyone he met, including me. In between insults he bragged about what a great Christian he was. He came this close (pinches fingers) to walking home.

Self-described Christians like these give a bad name to the countless others who actually follow Jesus’ example without fanfare.

Actually, in my book that would fall more in the category of Annoyingly Obsessed Hobbyist than in the category of Rude Domineering Uncharitable Religious Bigot.

Lotsa people tend to go on and on and on to a tedious extent about things that are important to them but really don’t matter to you. For some people, those things involve their religious beliefs. But as long as they’re not trying to force their beliefs on you or denigrate your own beliefs, I wouldn’t say they’re being bad Christians. Annoyingly obsessed ones, yes, but as long as they keep their prayer tchotchkes on their own desks instead of trying to colonize yours, I’d say they more or less get a pass.

I was raised Catholic (I’m feeling a lot better now, thanks), and despite whatever negative effects it had on me, I always felt that Jesus was a magnificently benevolent, loving figure, whose message came through. He was really clear about it; you know, the whole “do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” In fact, I believe he told everyone to chuck all the other rules and just live by that one. It was Golden, even.

Too bad so few people are actually Christians and take the one single fucking rule he tried to communicate to heart and live it.

Once, I faced off with some born again asshole dude who was testifying to a bunch of people, some of whom were obviously lesbians. He was being really nasty to them about how they were risking eternal damnation by breaking the laws of God, blah blah blah. It pissed me off, him using Jesus’ name to justify his hate (and I don’t even “believe in” Jesus, which is to say, I don’t worship anyone or anything) and making those women feel uncomfortable and bad.

I asked him why he was so hateful towards gays, weren’t we all called to love our neighbors, even our gay neighbors?

He said, “I don’t love them the way YOU love them.”

I responded, “Well, I love them as myself, as your Lord and Savior commanded. If you don’t, then I guess I’ll see you in Hell.”

Boy did his face get red. I thought he’d meet his Maker right then and there (whoever that was). The lesbians applauding probably just made matters worse. :cool:

People who truly practice Christianity, IMO, would have to emulate Christ, and that’s a tough row to hoe. Easier to just mouth of and judge other people, right? It’s a crying shame. Jesus wept.

Auntbeast, next time just borrow a line from the Firesign Theater. Tell her you are a member of the Power House Church of the Presumptious Assumption of the Blinding Light.

Memorize it. It comes in handy lots of times.

Sorry for the way you were treated. May I send you my credit card number or somelthing? :slight_smile:

Bye for now.

Thanks folks, no, I am not related to Lincoln.

I once worked with a hell of a methodist, he lived it. He’s unfortunately, one of the few examples of a truly good person who also happened to be a pretty religious christian that I know. I adored debating him. He is probably the only reason I’m not a broad-stroker in actions, even if part of me is inside.

I for one, welcome our new Power House Church of the Presumptious Assumption of the Blinding Light overlords.

It sure helps to actually know what he said, and taught in it’s full context.

That same Jesus that co-wrote the Beatles hit “All you need is Love” was also a bigot; intolerant of charlatans, liars, hypocrites and greedy people. He tore up the courtyard 7-11, called people vipers and sons of Satan, and actually said that upon his return there would be many people who were sincere, and hard working in his behalf that he would reject in the strongest terms—calling them workers of lawlessness.

You know, that Jesus.

[QUOTE=the raindog]
It sure helps to actually know what he said, and taught in it’s full context.


Did you miss the part where I said I was raised Catholic. :stuck_out_tongue:

Yeah, I know who you’re talking about. He was a bigot, huh? Never knew that. Would you care to give me a cite? Intolerant of liars, charlatans, hypocrites, and greedy people, yeah, I’m down with that. Aren’t most people, at least in principal?

I also pretty much agree with him that there are a hell of a lot of people right now who are “working on his behalf” who believe they are sincere that ought to be rejected by him in the strongest terms when he comes back… not that I think he IS going to come back, just that there are a lot of people running around using his name and saying they follow him who are, in fact, not. Like the very nice Christian lady in the OP.

Did I miss your point? Or didn’t you have one?


Did you miss the part where I said I was raised Catholic? :stuck_out_tongue: Bible-heavy we are not, but I did go to church every freakin’ Sunday for 15 years, so I thought I got the jist of it. Is what I’m saying.
That’s how that should have read.

I’m wondering, raindog, if you have a problem with the benevolent Jesus that I remember from my childhood? And if so, why? I remember a Jesus who associated with the outcasts of society-- the lepers, adultresses, Levites, all the undesirables. I hardly think he would be gaybashing in a public arena like the asshole with whom I had words. I llike to think, and this may just be a fantasy of mine, that he would have less patience for self-aggrandizing pseudo-Christians than he would with gay people, for example. He was pretty progressive in his day.

Is that hijacking the OP, or should we start another thread, or what? I really am not a biblical scholar (as if that’s not obvious); I can’t go chapter and verse with you, so if that’s what’s coming, fuggedaboutit. I’ll keep my shiny happy Jesus and go on my merry agnostic way.

No, no cites. If you were raised Catholic, you know them, right?

If’s definition of bigotry is accurate, I’d say that Jesus was a bigot.

So yea, I had a point, that apparently you missed.

The life and ministry of Jesus, in it’s full context, including everything he said and did, doesn’t support the notion that “…he told everyone to chuck all the other rules and just live by that one. …”


I’m not tyin to pick a fight, and if I sounded snarky, than I apologize.

My father was Roman Catholic and we attended church semi-regularly for periods of time. I attended a Catholic school until around grade 6th or 7th. In my memory of the RCC, we didn’t use the bible very much (for example we never brought one to mass, nor do I remember anyone else), and I remember most people listening [intently] to the priest conducting mass.

I agree with your contempt of the gay bashing dude you encountered. The Fred Phelps crowd is the most obnoxious, however there are many who are just a little less hyperbolic—but have the same overall view.

So, I think you’re right—Jesus came to the downtrodden; the poor, the destitute, the prostitutes, beggars, the working poor—the sinners. He was indeed progressive.

But in my view his command to Love had the implicit and explicit requirement that this Love must be manifest. And, this Love would be manifest in many ways, not the least of which was through obedience.

So he didn’t come so much to abloish the whole Jewish Order of Things, but rather to whip them into shape—that they had, over time, stopped following both the spirit and letter of Jewish Law.

I don’t want to hijack the thread any more, and I don’t have the energy or time for a debate. And I’m not throwing rocks at your bright and shiny Jesus—I see him the same way really. But, I am aware that he was also a firebrand and throughout his life he was vocal, strident and intolerant of those would not follow God’s rules. IMHO, that is a balanced view of Jesus Christ.

[QUOTE=the raindog]

“To love the Lord your God with your whole heart, your whole mind and your whole soul.” That was the answer he gave when asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” He went on to say: “the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself.”

Neither one of those will be found on Roy Moore’s courthouse lawn. And yet they encompass all ten of the others. That is: if you follow these two, you will perforce be following all of the others. No, it doesn’t direct you to chuck them, but it does imply that you shouldn’t lose any sleep about whether you’ve got them memorized in the right order. Or whether anyone else does.

You’re right, raindog, there was more to His message than love. People bring up Jesus losing His temper and throwing the merchants out of the temple often enough, but there’s another bit they don’t bring up. It’s in Matthew 7, verses 21-23 to be precise:

I’ve always taken that to mean no matter how often I say I’m a Christian, no matter how many services I go to, if my actions don’t reflect Christ’s teachings, I’m in deep trouble, especially when you add in Matthew 25:31-46. That’s the bit when Jesus says outright those who don’t clothe the needy, feed the hungry, etc. will be sent to eternal punishment.

AuntBeast, I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, my own church spent last Sunday working with the congregation of a Jewish temple a few miles up the road painting bathrooms, doing spring cleaning, assembling books, etc. for literacy projects, homeless shelters, etc. No one was out to convert anyone; we were simply doing what needs to be done, and I am glad my church gives me the opportunity to do things like that. I wish you were closer to me; I’d like to offer your fellow guest a chance to join us and spend some time on her knees not praying, but scrubbing paint off a bathroom floor after painting the ceiling.

Wrong. Catholics don’t do a lot of bible study. They tend to know what they hear during Mass, mostly the gospels and the epistles, IIRC. I was joking about knowing the bible. My knowledge is very specific.

No, I wouldn’t agree. I don’t think he favored those of his religion or politics. Your examples prove that, actually. He didn’t hold Jews up above gentiles or people who said they followed him over those that didn’t. A person had to be genuine in his belief to quality, not just pay lip service. I got a different message from his “intolerance” than you did. He just wasn’t going to put up with hypocritical, lying, avaricious peeople who used his name to prop up causes that were not his. I think if he had a grave, he’d be rolling in it hard enough to make a centrifuge by now.

That pretty much says to me, follow these two little rules and don’t worry so much about the rest of them. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

And that is why I love you!