So I went to work on Monday and in the afternoon, my foot started to hurt - sort of the same pain you get if you wear new shoes and they rub on your foot.
Took off my shoe (sitting at desk, no big deal) and worked the rest of the day with one shoe on.
Painfully put on other shoe and drove home.
Next day, above my right toe, it was swollen and I couldn’t wear any shoe.
Figured I banged it up and it would heal.
Stayed home.
Next day, hobbled to work wearing flip flops.
Following day, Thursday, got pissed off enough to go to hospital to check it out.
Gout?
Really?
Am I in some P.G. Wodehouse novel?
Do I have to get a cane now, wear a monocle in one eye, and pretend I am British royalty?
Lord DMark Of Vegas?
Causes - overuse of alcohol? Uh, no - three beers in last six months would probably not be considered a raging alcoholic.
Eating lots of pate’? Uh, no - not a lot of pate in the house. I like it, but haven’t had it in, oh, 10 years? Not even cheap version of liverwurst.
Extremities in cold damp weather? Uh, hello - I live in Las Vegas - exactly where is it cold and damp here?
They gave me some tablets (that worked quickly) and I have to pick up my prescription today for any future outbreaks.
Foods I should avoid:
• Sardines (have never even tried them!)
• Mussels (no thank you…)
• Peas (not a favorite)
• Red meat (hate steaks, but do like the occasional cheeseburger…)
• Game meat (nope…)
• Offal food (internal organ food - no way!)
• Mushrooms, sweetbreads (can’t stand them)
• Scallops and shrimps (not a big fan)
• Herring (never…)
• Game meats (see above - nope.)
• Fish roe (right, like I nosh on caviar regularly - uh, no…)
• Mackerel (never tried them)
• Lentils (not since the 80’s)
• Yeast (well, I do eat bread sometime, but hardly chock full of yeast…)
• Apsaragus (nope)
• Alcohol (as mentioned, too rarely to mention…)
• Anchovies (ugh…)
So, this should be the easiest diet I have ever had to follow.
Gout?!
Geez…whodathunk?
What’s next - black plague? Consumption? Colic?