Good morning passed out person!

This morning as I get going to work I leave the front door of my apartment and lo and behold: there is a girl passed out in my hallway. This is exceedingly unusual because ours is a secure building that you either need a passcard to open the door to get into the hallways or someone has to buzz you in. The lobby of the building is open to anyone who passes by, but that’s it. She also appeared to be topless(!). Morbid as I am my first thought was “Please don’t be a dead body. I have to get to work on time today.”

Wrong on most counts. She was wearing a backless sundress, so she only looked topless while laying on her stomach. Also, gladly, not dead. She opened one bleary eye at me as I walked past her. Score one for the living. She was also resting her head on a few single pages of what looked like a USA Today.

My girlfriend just called as she leaves much later for work than I do, and apparently she’s still there.

I guess some people have way more fun on Monday nights than I do.

Sounds like someone gave her the boot and she was too stinko to drive. I hope she calls in sick to work. The ol’ “same dress as the night before” is a dead giveaway.

Or, of course, she could have been very ill, or a victim of some sort of assault. I don’t suppose anyone bothered to ask? Gotta get to work on time, after all.

You’re right…I assumed the poster made some sort of assessment of her well-being (aside from the apparent hangover). I would have spoken to her to see if she was ok.

Ha! What a card! Offer a stranger assistance? Show concern? You want Cluricaun to get sued or something?

I know hungover when I see it. Sick or assaulted folks don’t often make pillows out of newspaper. These are the actions of the drunk.

Yes, a bit of newspaper under one’s head is incontrovertible proof of having purposely chosen to nap in that particular spot on the hallway floor. Certainly there was no reason for you to trouble yourself.

I hope you got to work on time.

I think we all got the point the first time.

Indeed I did, thanks for asking. I know how it may seem callous to you in a way, but I did see her moving around and opening her eyes, so she wasn’t dead. I didn’t see blood pooled about the floor, so that’s about the sum and total of my need to involve myself. Would you have preferred I called the cops to report someone who in all probability was just having a real bad night out? Maybe I should have rushed to her side and begged her to let me take care of her?

I don’t think so. Maybe I’ve been in the city too long, but checking for signs of life qualifies as me doing my good samaritan duties.

DianaG may be coming down too hard, but I’m not so sure. I’d like to think someone might at least ask me if I was OK! I’m not sure what kind of city Shaumburg is…maybe it’s really dangerous to stop and ask people, like NYC, so I’ll give the OP the benefit of the doubt, too.

maybe it’s really dangerous to stop and ask people, like NYC, so I’ll give the OP the benefit of the doubt, too/QUOTE]

No, not exactly. It’s an older but still rather nice suburb of Chicago. We do have our assorted homeless and pan handlers and the like, but it’s far from a dangerous neighborhood. However like I said before, I do have that big city attitude of “Not My Problem”, which **DianaG ** might be right calling me out on.

Schaumburg is a middle- to upper-middle class suburb. I used to live there. They have their share of crime, but it’s not like it’s a scary place to live.

Cluricaun, I freely admit that I’m being a little bitchy based on personal experience. I’m not saying you should have taken her in and nursed her back to health. I’m just saying that stopping for ten seconds to say “Hey, are you okay, or should I call the cops?*” does you no harm, and may do her a world of good.

Fair enough. Tell you what, if she’s still there when I get home, I’m all over it. :wink:

Have you SEEN Woodfield at Christmastime? :eek: :wink:

Consider this…
If you alert her to the possible presence of an authority figure she may try to leave. In her state that would have been a recipe for either drunken driving or public intoxication. I hate to say it but the best place for her was probably right where she lay. She’ll be fine.
An, “Are you OK?” would have been enough.

Come again?

I said,


Not sure what you didn’t get about that! I lived in Flushing for a while, and now live in Upstate, and yeah, NYC - and maybe Detroit, another place I lived - are two places I wouldn’t ask anything from someone laying passed out on the sidewalk or in my apartment building. Depends on where, of course.

Keep in mind I’m female.

Part of a comedy bit from the 80s, I think it was Andrew “Dice” Clay (but I could be wrong), he says

“How do you perform CRP in New York?” and proceeds to partially bend at the waist and shout at the “victim” (presumably lying prone on the ground at his feet)

"Get up befor you fucking die!.


I salute, you, miss Passed Out Drunk Person!

% Miss passed out drunk person… %