Good News..Bad News

Let’s play Good News…Bad News.
Someone posts an item of good news, the next person posts the corresponding item of bad news. This goes on until someone decides to change the subject or we all lose the will to live.

I got a new job.

Bad News
It’s Moderating the Straight Dope.

Good News
I get a coffee mug.

Bad News
The goat filled it.

Good News
They are replacing the hamster…

Bad News
…with a snail.
And for our first item, we have some real news.
Good News
New shark discovered in US waters.

The good news is we’ve discovered a new kind of shark.

The bad news is it’s in danger of extiction.

The good news is we’ve discovered a new habitat for it.

The bad news is that the new habitat is in …


The good news is the habitat is kept salinated for the sharks.

The bad news is, saline or not, it’s still hopelessly polluted.

The good news is, the sharks actually seem to thrive on pollution.

The bad news that by “thrive”, I mean “the pollution is causing excellerated growth, and multiplied birth rates and physical mutations, such as a phenomenol rate, growing legs, opposable thumbs, lungs and extended lifespans are they surviving specimens are rapidly showing signs of xenophobic rage at humanity.”

The good news is we’re bringing the troops home and going to turn 'em loose in Iraq.

The bad news is, no one notices the difference.

The good news is they are eating all the reporters.

The bad news is this was posted in Cafe Society, and that’s not the right forum.

The good is I’ve moved it to IMHO as a more appropriate forum.

The bad news is the Pit thread lambasting the mods for that decision is already on its way.

The good news is the sharks are willing to help with that problem.

The bad new is shark fishing season just opened.

The good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.

The bad news is, I don’t have a car.

The good news is I don’t need to find a parking space.

Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS.

The bad news is, we can’t post the good news if the mods keep moving the thread.

Shit yeah that’s bad news. Where you gonna put a shark?

Good News
The Czech Republic beat the USA 3-0 in the World Cup.

Bad News
The invasion plans are being drawn up now.

Good news: The Czech Republic is only going to use soccer balls for defense.

Bad news: Iron, spiky, poisoned soccer balls.