Man, you did say Nikki Cox, tho. Sounds old enough that we could at least LOOK, without being a COMPLETE lech. Does the minister object to mirrored shades in church?
If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to make a systemmatic search of the areas churches, starting out from your local waterpark as ground zero.
Just looked in the Glen Ellyn phone book. Damn, there’s a lot of them! 9 pages! Even if I try to narrow it down, there’s quite a bit of territory between my own town’s Bochasanwasi Swaminaryan Sanstha and Hinsdale’s Zoroastrian Center of Chicago. I have my work cut out for me. I’m coming, Nikki.
I’m going to start going to church soon, even though I am not religious. My wife has been stressed and depressed lately, and she IS religious (Catholic) so I told her I thought it would be a good idea to start going to church, might cheer her up.
OK, I do admit the KKK simile was extremely ill-chosen and I take it back with apologies.
I do have religious friends—of just about every religion you could name and some of the odder new ones—but I NEVER go to any house of worship and would be very uncomfortable doing so. A friend once took me to a Baptist Xmas ceremony and most of the sermon seemed to be about me (well, about how all non-Christians were going straight to hell and it served them right). Even at a Greek Orthodox wedding they managed to get in a few jabs at the non-righteous.
It’s asking for trouble for me to stick my nose into ceremonies which I feel are foolish, harmful and slightly insane. Let 'em do what they want, but why should I aggravate myself by being a part of it?
I knew you didn’t really mean it like that but couldn’t help taking umbrage. Just figured you had some bad experiences.
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Like those, f’rinstance. May I assume you are Jewish? (The name, the non-Christian comment above) Those two denominations you named are not known for their tolerance. If it’s any comfort, I still consider myself Catholic and the Baptists and Eastern Rite folks don’t like me any better than they do you.
OTOH, my present parish is filled with aging hippies and the pastor’s sermon after the Democratic convention was about the greatness of the Jewish people and how crappily they have been treated by millenia of so-called Christians. It was as close as he could get to endorsing Joe Lieberman without losing our church status.
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May I repeat my “Well, DUH!” comment of earlier? The point of this thread was not to convert anybody or get them to do anything they are uncomfortable with. It was just to list the advantages of belonging to ANY religion for shallow, hypocritical people like me. Which, may I repeat, are primarily limited to attractive women, good food, and cheap insurance. Nice people are a bonus when you are eating the food, but you don’t have to invest much time or effort to get the other benefits.
Dinsdale, I go to St Paul’s, on Ardmore in Villa Park. You should get similar results at any ELCA church. You may want to try St John’s in Glen Ellyn because you get a theological celebrity for your pastor, the famous (to NPR and Extension 720 listeners) Martin Marti. Missouri Synod gives you German girls and fire and brimstone. Your wife will kill you for the former and you don’t want to listen to the latter.
Drop—I’m a devout atheist. So even a synagogue would annoy me. By the way, is that Ardmore, PA? Great town, I love the Farmer’s Market, where the old movie theater used to be!
You can only guess, then, how much more my brother likes me since he joined the Russian Rite church and started evangelizing on me. “Join us! Here is a church in your town!” So I over-exagerated the schism and I apologize. However, I have been called a “papist” by some Non-Conformists. I thought that word had died out years ago. Like “Non-Conformist.”
Eve, then you are not one of the people the OP was aimed at but, as always, I enjoy and welcome your presence, especially since this has deteriorated into some sort of debate and lost some of its light-hearted intent. I knew I should have tried my luck posting it in IMHO! I, too, would suggest you become a Unitarian Universalist, except you’d balk at cooking for the Pot Luck. (Do they even HAVE pot-lucks? They always seemed more Sardi’s than pot-luck.)
I agree that there are many good social reasons to go to church, but I don’t do it, not necessarily for the same reasons as Eve, but because of the lying that would be involved.
What do you answer when people ask questions like “do you believe in God?” Or “do you promise to live your life according to the precepts in the Bible?” It seems to me that one would be taking advantage under false pretenses of your neighbour’s generosity.
I personally get my social quota out of joining a non-profit group that has no religious affiliation.
Arnold, I tell the truth, that I am not a full believer but am a seeker. As for living by the precepts of the Bible, I just try to be a good person (a classic copout, but true). The whole “What would Jesus do?” movement sounds heretical, for who can know the mind of God? (Kids, you can use that argument on the next WWJD person who tries to coerce you!)
As for “taking advantage of my neighbors’ generosity,” I make my donations of time and treasure. They get their share from this not-entirely-a-believer.
spoke-, you have the right idea. And God, or whoever, help a candidate who wasn’t in the armed forces, too.
Dropzone: So what times are the masses at St. Paul that have the gorgeous women? That’s right up the street from me! Been thinking of going to church just to meet people, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
Saturday at 5pm (I think) and Sunday at 8am and 11am. I go to the 11am one because it’s after the kids’ (and Wife’s–she teaches) Sunday School. I’m the fat guy on the left side (actually, I’m fat on both sides…) towards the back. My preparation for Lutheranhood was “here’s how we differ in the more macro sense” so I don’t know if they call it “mass.” I think they do. If there’s water in the baptismal font I cross myself, but I’m not alone in that. It’s not all Norwegian bikini team. Plenty of old Norskies, too. But they’re REAL NICE! They wave in the parking lot. People in my old church wouldn’t do that after I had belonged for ten years.
Dammit! This was supposed to be a nice wise-assed thread with flippant reasons for going to church. Look how warped it has gotten! I’m defending what faith I have and attracting people to my church with tales of beautiful women and pretty good altar wine!
Hmmmmm… Maybe the churches could learn something from this. Priests in Speedos! Nuns in bikinis! Save your soul while getting drunk!
