Is church worth going to just to socialize?

Great Debates
1

Let’s say that there’s a guy who doesn’t believe everything that was written in the Bible. He doesn’t believe that the Devil wants to control our thoughts, he doesn’t believe that the Earth was created in 6 days, and he doesn’t believe in talking donkeys. However, he wants to move up in the world and make more friends. In fact, he lives in Small Town America which means that 98% of all available social groups are religious.

Relatively common story, right?

Should that person swallow his pride and become part of something that doesn’t seem completely genuine and truthful?

I guess this is what I’m trying to get at: Is it better to be a lonely atheist or a fake-Christian with many friends?

2

It has been my experience that a lot of people go to church either mainly or entirely for that reason.

3

I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with it. Most churches probably want unbelievers to attend (presumably exposure to the good word will increase the chance of their being saved) so it’s not like your taking advantage of them. And if you don’t want to be know as “that athiest guy”, you can just give non-committal answers when asked about your faith (“I’m searching…” or whatever) and thus avoid having to lie.

4

I think most people go for the social aspect, even though they may not admit it. I think it would be fine to attend as someone with reservations.

5

Amongst my friends and family, church is probably 70% social, 20% ritual, and 10% goddy. I know a few atheists and agnostics that go for the fun.

You might want to join a unitarian church. They don’t have to believe in god. My atheist uncle attended for years.

6

Doesn’t that seem wrong to you though? People taking time of their lives to take part of something that has a purpose they don’t believe in. People boldly throwing their principles to the wayside only to make friends out of the deal. Doesn’t that seem dirty to you?

7

There are lots of churches that don’t expect their members to believe stuff like that. The Catholic Church, for one, doesn’t teach that the world was created in 6 days. Mainline Protestant churches tend to either teach that the Bible is not to be interpreted literally, or to leave that up to the individual.

It used to bother me a lot more than it does now. I’ve come to terms with the fact that, if two people are doing the same thing, they may not be doing it for the same reason or getting the same thing out of it. Church has different purposes for different people. I think that’s OK.

Do you get upset if people go to the mall to exercise (do people still do mallwalking?) or meet with friends, instead of shopping? This isn’t that different.

Now, if he were going to church to appear more honest or trustworthy for the purposes of helping himself in business, that would be more of a gray area.

8

I don’t believe in god, but it’s not against my principles just to show up in a church. I just don’t think it does any good, at least in a spiritual sense. I suppose if you not only didn’t believe in God, but thought the very existence of churches was evil or harmful, then it might be more of a moral problem.

9

Reading this board, I came to understand that in the USA, it’s quite common (even for unbelievers) to join a church mostly in order to socialize. I must say that I’m not accustomed to the concept, and find it quite weird.
I wouldn’t do that (I’m an atheist). Not merely because I’m not particularly interested in socializing in a church, but also because I find this somewhat offensive for believers. I just don’t belong there, and I’ve no reason to partake in sacred rituals I don’t believe in. I’d feel a little like the tourist who would come to take pictures of the funny rituals of the natives, merely by being present.

10

I’ve known a couple of atheists that have attended Quaker or UU churches we’ve been to over the years. I don’t think they’re faking anything, exactly; it’s more that they like the secular nature of what those particular churches do – the social justice, message of tolerance/acceptance, etc. – and don’t mind the spiritual aspects.

11

Most of our churches and synagogues don’t have a problem with people showing up who aren’t members of their religion. Happens all the time at life-cycle events like baptisms, bar mitzvahs, weddings, and funerals.

There are religious rites within a service that some churches or synagogues restrict to members of the religion. You should know what, if any, those are before you go, and you shouldn’t do those things. Examples would be Communion in Catholic and some other churches, and going up to the bima (altar) and blessing the Torah scrolls in most synagogues. But few denominations have problems with visitors showing up to services, as long as they act respectfully and don’t make a scene.

12

I would say that if you are an athiest, then it wouldn’t be in line with your principles or the Church’s for you to attend.

Now, if you have some disagreement about doctrine (e.g. the earth wasn’t created in 7 days, no talking donkeys) then that’s fine, IMHO. I don’t believe everything that my church teaches.

But if you disagree on the very fundamental reason for the church’s existence, then I would suggest another avenue for social pursuits…

13

I know that, but it still bothers me. Except in the case of “life-cycle events” you mentioned.

14

Personally I dislike the idea of regular attendance at a church you don’t agree with at all. In particular, if there are children involved–what does it do to a kid to see her parent attend a church, give it lip service every week, and then do something completely different the rest of the time? I’m all for searching, or attending another church every once in a while as a respectful guest, or lots of other things–but I’m definitely against regular church attendance for purely social reasons.

15

You show up at a Baptism at my non-Catholic church when I’m ushering and I will make not-very-subtle motions that will encourage you to take Communion, regardless your background, and I’m a mostly-atheist. Communion is Big Magic and good for your soul, if you have one. And I have some good friends there who accept me as the heathen I am. In fact, the other day the pastor told me that, according to Luther, God is so vastly beyond human understanding that atheism is perfectly understandable.

I DIDN’T say, “Sure, Steve, whatever works for you. Me, I go for the potlucks,” but I enjoy the company, the nice lessons about community and harmony, and my old ladies from the Movie Night group who force me to rent and show them gag heartwarming and inspirational movies like “The Apostle” and “Young@Heart.” (My idea of a heartwarming and inspirational Christmas movie is “Die Hard,” which had a bodycount barely higher than that of “Young@Heart.” We did agree, though, that Rex Harrison’s “Doctor Doolittle” sucked and blew at the same time. They want to see “Dogma,” but I’m overprotective of my old ladies.)

16

I wouldn’t feel too dirty about Unitarian Universalism

17

This is an extremely tough issue for me…

I guess I should explain…

I’m agnostic. I honestly don’t know if there is a God, I’ve seen no proof for myself either way…but I don’t think that all religious people are idiots. My tag line is: “I don’t know”

I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. And I really have no desire to be around any of that crap. In other words, I don’t like bars, or most any social activity, because they all involve drinking (at least in the rural area I live). There are no local clubs that I can think of…

So I really have NO social life, and at times I really suffer because of it.

Some of my BEST friends, and just generally people I get along with the most are religious. I respect their beliefs, and I seriously considered joining the LDS (Mormon church) because of them. (and admittedly the whole not drinking/smoking thing) Attended a service once.

But at this point, I still cannot let myself join the church because of issues dealing with my personal beliefs on what is right and wrong (and most other churches have issues as well.)

Going to the church services would be OK to me in most instances (and I know I’m allowed to attend). But I would feel like a liar for somehow misrepresenting myself as a member when I am not, and currently have no intention of joining. I also know that members of a church (especially in the case of the LDS church) want a potential partner to share their beliefs.

Since I don’t want to misrepresent myself, and I don’t want to open myself up to heartbreak (a girl who ultimately won’t accept me as I am…and vice versa, I won’t understand completely their reasoning)…I don’t attend church, even though it would do worlds for my socialization.

It confuses me, everytime I think about it. And it hurts too. I feel like I’m caught between two worlds (normal=drinking, etc, OR religious) and fit in neither

18

(it’s after midnight so I can say this without anybody noticing) Dude, religious chicks can be SO nasty! Give them a try! Just be ready to change churches if she gets too preachy.

:wink:

19

I wouldn’t see that as a problem, just keep an open mind about it. I don’t know if I believe in god or not, but I believe that going to church will help me become a better person. Not everything you learn there is going to be about faith.

20

Picard, that was positively ELCA of you. While I agree with you, theologically you are in line with, if you are a woman, men who resemble the Vikings’ accountants and, if you are a man, women who are completely out of your league.

Not that church has ANYTHING to do with socializing. :wink:

ETA: Picard TOTALLY eats Kirk’s lunch!