Goodamn coyote on the 25 yard line

At 9:30AM, as I headed to me* root canal, the bastard was catching rays on the 25 yard line of the football flield across the street. I approached him, thinking he might be hurt or sick. No, he got up, loped a few yards, and shot me a dirty look.

At 11:30, he’d changed sports and was sunning his fat ass (biggest prairie wolf I’d ever seen) on a baseball diamond.

At 2:00PM he’d changed to a different baseball diamond. I thought I’d shine a BB off his fast arse but realized I’d get arrested and he’d laugh at me, so I sicced the park district on him. Instead, THEY laughed at me, so it was the soccer girls what done it. Better them than girls field hockey, who’d’ve killed him.

Couldn’t sic me collie, who thinks it’s her job to keep the neighborhood free of lower predators, on him because he was the biggest fuckin’ coyote I’d ever seen. MUCH bigger than her (she’s a Pocket Collie).

    • Sorry, been to much Flogging Molly on the playlist today. Oi’ve reverted.

Dude , order a roadrunner from acme , all your yote problems solved.


So, you found the coyote equivalent of Bo Jackson?

Was is this guy?
I guess he finished his Gatoraide and decided it was go time.

Why are illegal immigrants trying to get across a football field in Lombard, Illinois?

What did his “fat ass” have to do with it?


OK, but what’s a “Goodamn”?
ETA: I guess this won’t make much sense after the title is fixed…

Well you’ve seen Jim Carey in “Bruce Almighty”, and Steve Carrell in “Evan Almighty”.

Watch your theaters next summer for “King Ralph Almighty”.

When King Ralph smites somebody, it will be a “Goodamn”.

I’m sorry. Where do I report for my punishment?

Be careful about encouraging encounters between pets and coyotes. Even at a significant size disadvantage, the coyote has much more experience of (and breeding for) combat, and is likely to prevail.


  1. The coyote is an advance person for the Hillary Clinton campaign.

  2. Dropzone is channeling Fatherjohn across the years.

You and I know that but she doesn’t, and she HATES fuckin’ coyotes. They seem to know she was designed to kill bigger things than them and all she needs to do, usually, is clear her throat and they remember they left the oven on at home. This guy was so big, though, and she’s no longer young (but now has a psychotic young sidekick who’s willing to go along with anything–don’t cross a Corgi with anything taller) so I made it a point not to let them out while he was in town.

Because they want to go to Uncle Julio’s Hacienda for lunch? I know I sure do.

So your dog is a specieist? “Leave 'em to their own kind”

Yep. Blame the people who developed the breed. She dislikes other dogs she doesn’t know, but hates coyotes and foxes. She’s never been around sheep, but she likes herding Canada geese out of the yard. When they’ve waddled across the street she lies down, content that they are where they belong, and they are happy to have someone covering their back.

They and you can have it. I’ll be at Allende’s on Highland.

I think your town has a breeding program down at Western Acres.
They’ve got some huge ones down there, and those pups have absolutely NO FEAR of humans.

Golfers in Florida have to contend with alligators. In Lombard it’s coyotes.

I live less than a mile as the crow flies from the Fox River and the other night while I was out smoking I heard one calling from not too far away. I called it in pretty close with a preditor call I had (rabbit in distress, sounds like this
) but when he saw I wasn’t a baby rabbit he skedaddled pretty quick.

I live on the back edge of a golf course, and a block from Deer Grove Forest Preserve. There are two groups of coyotes - one that hangs at the Golf Course and one that hangs in the Forest Preserve - you can hear them howling at each other at night. When we have the windows open, they wake up my husband.

When we first got Baron, the dancing dog, we brought him out on the deck one night when they were howling - he kind of looked at us like “What the fuck is that???” and started trying to get back in. Big old chicken dog.

obligatory “awwwwww” for cute pix of Baron!