Wait a minute – what about King Kong?? He sure looks like a gorilla! He could beat an army of bears all by himself! 
What about Dolphins… with dart guns!!!
I think that gorilla is going to have to know the martial art of shotgun-fu to have chance.
I’m not sure he is. I am sure that he lacks Claws of Death[sup]TM[/sup], an accessory with which the bear is generously supplied. The phrase “brung a knife to a gunfight” springs to mind.
The gorilla, if he’s prepared.
There’s always the crap-flinging angle…of course, knowing the typical courage of a Gorilla, he’s likely to have his reserves badly depleted after the first time the Grizzly roars.
Grizzlys deficate (and/or lay on) their kills to disuade other predators and scavengers from eating them. Gorilla-flug poo isn’t gonna soften the grizzlys resolve much at all.
I once read in the L.M. Boyd “Grab Bag” that back in the old days in California, they’d pit bulls against grizzly bears and usually, according to him, the bear would win.
Personally, I would hate to see some poor creatures put against each other for human entertainment. However, I’d be okay with seeing convicted murderers be placed in a pit against a bear!
It would really be cool to see about 30 murderers in a with one big, bad, hungry, angry bear. I wonder who would win; 30 naked and unarmed killers, or one magnificent bear with all of his claws and teeth?
It would be so exciting!!
…
Yes it would, but I find your enthusiasm over the concept even more entertaining than the hypothetical slaughter.
What if we use a chimpanzee instead? They’re lighter yet than gorillas, but they have that whole “tearing off the genitals” strategy going for them. I bet the fight would go right out of even the biggest grizzly after it gets its nuts plucked off. Remember that bears even have a habit of standing up on their hind legs when putting on aggressive displays. That should put the nuts right about at shoulder height for the chimp.
You’re assuming a male grizzly? I say we separate a female from her cubs, which should put her in just the right frame of mind for this fight.
It might. But since the chimp is at that point lying on the ground with its skull ripped open from a single swipe of the bear’s paw, the bear can afford to take a break.
But not when engaged in combat.
What if the gorilla is wearing a bear-proof suit?
And the bear is locked inside a Samsonite suitcase … .
You seem to be operating under the assumption that we would be using a pirate bear and a ninja chimp.
How many gorillas or chimps would need to be pitted against one bear to even the odds? Two? Five? Doesn’t matter, because the bear would still win?
The chimp could punch the female bear in her ovaries, a la Ron Burgundy. Probably not a kill shot, but it could happen.
what if the bear has a boner? Does this make him more aggressive? What if the gorilla had a boner? Who’s boner would be bigger? I bet money that the gorilla would have the more impressive woody and thus by logic of ‘my dick is bigger than your dick’ you’d have to go w/ Mr. Gorilla in that fight.
Am I the only person who read the title as “Godzilla vs. Grizzly Bear” and thought it was too one-sided?
Thanks for all the posts! I thought the bear would come out on top, and most of you tend to agree with me. I will try to come up with another “animal vs. animal” thread – they are alway fun! (My favorite so far would have to be the classic “Grizzly Bear vs. Knight in Plate Armor” thread I started a few months back!)
I agree, to this ^
Gorillas are probably the most peaceful animals out of the lot of contenders, I’d say a large Chimp would be able to maul a average sized gorilla, not the type of chimps in the movies or the small ones we are use to seeing, I mean the buff menacing looking wild ones.
So far the historical records show who really is the usual victor in terms fighting capabilitys, an I’d gesture by the amount of data there is on hand that the ranking seems to support…
Lions>>Pumas>>Polar/Grizlly bears>>Tigers>>>Jaguars>>Leopards>>>>>>>>Silver back gorillas.
Whats odd is, there are alot of documentation of african lions killing polar bears in captivity, atleast more then vice versa, and the same goes for Puma an grizzly encounters in the wild; it seems it goes back an forth with tigers and larger bears with bears having a substantial amount enough of records to show that tigers are poor fighters:
http://www.wcreplays.com/forums/showthread.php?t=144938
After all; there are over a 100 accounts of lions with a significant lead of killing the tiger more than the opposite of his less then 20 head count so far, not to mention leopards have succsesfuly proved that even bengals one of the largest end of tigers can fall victim an shows how poor of a fighter the tigris genus is; Tigris=Good hunter>Bad fighter, since no records in the wild shows leopards killing adult or even subadult lions of either gender yet.
http://teamauthority.myfastforum.org/ftopic623-0-asc-45.php
Although of course the tiger would win out on average terms against jags an leps since he has a significant size advantage on the larger end, leps at near parity are shown quite good fighters an has shown able to kill adult male gorillas, regardless if its by ambush, theres no records of leopards killing or even atempting male lions, not to mention has killed gorillas in up an up fights even in captivity a leopard ripped off a gorillas arm…so I think leopards prove that Gorllias are no match for the larger end of big cats and bears.
So an educated opinion would be more so the gorilla is out matched, since he not only dosen’t have the right weaponry blunt and small molars for vegatation and no claws , his diet/social ability suggest’s that he will not persue an have as much intent to kill as the others unless he is a Alpha pack/group leader that will aid some testostorne an experince factors, his agression is minimum an feats have little to no records of Gorillas killing any formidable contender on land; even there own species conflicts have little data on how they fight offensively and defensively other than standing on 2 legs pounding there chest an throwing tantrums…his strength has been over exagerated since the assumption defys logic an mathematics, a Gorilla is not 10x stronger than a strong man, since the strong men competitions have people squating 1,000 pounds, so no 10 x 1k…which would imply that Gorillas can lift a school bus clean over there head…not even a 1 ton car, so most likely the average gorilla is only slightly stronger than the average man (Both maxing out lifting 200-300lbs in weight pulling), and only slightly stronger than a strong man in its same conjunction (Both averageing 500-800 at weight pulling) speaking of one-off’s or rare events like world competitions is in its own fashion rare, we go by what they can averagely do an do sometimes with exception, not one in a million type flukes or freaks, since gorillas only average 350 pounds an grizzlys depending on what sub-species can range from 400-750, while a large gorilla would only pulll in at best 500, while a prime Grizzly would range from 700-1,000 pounds (850 lb’s as a comfortable prime state Kodiak grizzly).
The gorilla would fair horible in my opinion, the grizzly bear is probably the most formidable due to his size alone, but since little is confirmed via creditable, its logical to put two an two together to see that the records show the grizzly is not the best of the best in terms fighting killing expertise, that title belongs to the big cats and is only exceeded by humans.
How is it? Is it like loving a woman who was awful to you and used you, but you can’t stay away so you have to dig her zombie corpse up to make love to her yet again?