Got incredibly drunk and said some perverted things to some friends

[jerry_smissingfinger]

Report back when you wake up naked somewhere unfamiliar

[Freddy_the_Pig]

@VinylTurnip

I think all of us here have, at one time or another, gone out and gotten drunk, made gay passes at our friends, sobered up, registered an account on a message board, and for our very first post, described what we did and how guilty we felt about it and asked for advice. It’s so common it’s almost a cliché by now.

I make it a rule never to join a new message board unless (a) a friend asks me to perform an outrageous sex act; (b) I get in a fight with a biker gang; or (c) I have embarrassing lesions that I think might be the first signs of venereal disease.

Needless to say, I’m not on too many boards.

[HoneyBadgerDC]

I had a couple of friends come on to me when they were drunk in my very early drinking days. I figured they were closet gays. As far as I know none of them turned gay later on and all went on to be married. If you were doing cocaine with the liquor you can join a huge crowd of straight men who for some reason turn gay when they do cocaine. I sat in on a lecture for Dr’s one time about how all these straight guys were comming down with HIV.

[Whiskey_Dickens]

@Name_1

The part that I’m obsessing over is when I told my one guy friend that I wanted to touch his dick or something like that.

FAP

@Lemur866

Personally, I like to scream at children over broccoli then register an account on a strange message board and ask for advice about it.

fap

[Pantastic]

@the_diego

Friends my foot. Never get drunk when there’s a male who’s not a close relative.

Because it’s not like sexual assaults are primarily perpetrated by people who already know the victim…

[Name_1]

@Happy_Lendervedder

You joined the SDMB just to ask this? Might I ask what led you here?

I’ve been lurking for a pretty long time now, so why not create an account and ask for advice? I like the people here.

@pool

Is OP a man or a woman?

I’m a women.

Maybe I have just been freaking out about this a little too much

[YogSothoth]

You should touch his dick. Hold it, look it over in your palm, feel the weight of it, and marvel at the heat coming off of it. Only then can you decide whether you truly like it or not

[snfaulkner]

@jerry_smissingfinger

Report back when you wake up naked somewhere unfamiliar

Or after you’ve puked red wine all over a white carpet at some stranger’s house…

[mascaroni]

@Name_1

Am I obsessing over this too much?

Not at all. In days gone by it would be a matter of making your apologies and retiring to the billiard room with a revolver, but these days?

Maybe there’s a deep disused canal nearby?

[the_diego]

Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company.

[gigi]

@billfish678

You didn’t have an Uncle Hal Briston that liked to talk about goats by any chance did you?

DUDE! GOATS?! That’s sick!

It’s sheep.

[Ranger_Jeff]

Or you can hold his dick, look at it, and loudly squeal “It’s so cute! It looks just like a real penis, but it’s sooo small!”

[Ranger_Jeff]

@gigi

DUDE! GOATS?! That’s sick!

It’s sheep.

Nobody ever calls you “Gigi the church builder”, right?

[the_diego]

^
If that was me, I’ll tell her “Oh really? The ‘Wendy’ tattoo expands to ‘Welcome the the Wonderful World of Disney.’” But she won’t get the joke if she’s that drunk. Another reason I don’t like girls wasted.

[simster]

@YogSothoth

You should touch his dick. Hold it, look it over in your palm, feel the weight of it, and marvel at the heat coming off of it. Only then can you decide whether you truly like it or not

@Ranger_Jeff

Or you can hold his dick, look at it, and loudly squeal “It’s so cute! It looks just like a real penis, but it’s sooo small!”

One in the hand, two in the bush.

[Maggie_the_Ocelot]

@usedtobe

You now know why the ability to “Hold Your Liquor” is valued so highly.

And never get so drunk you have no memory.

That is an incredibly scary situation - especially when self-inflicted.

Wha? It would be a lot scarier if it wasn’t self-inflicted - ie if someone had dosed her drink.

@the_diego

Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company.

Good point. Women should never go to bars or clubs, and shouldn’t go to parties that aren’t all-female. :rolleyes:

[the_diego]

I meant ‘drunk,’ an adjective; not a simple conjunction of ‘drink,’ where ‘drank’ is simple past tense while ‘drunk’ is past perfect, usually with a helping verb ‘had.’

Going to a singles bar doesn’t mean you have to end up like Jennifer Jason Leigh in the “Last Exit” movie.

[Poysyn]

If I had a nickel for every time a friend said something inappropriate when hammered…

It happens. The classy ones apologize when sober and never do it again. So, apologize and don’t do it again.

[pool]

The drunken Name? speaks the sober truth!

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Hell, half the shit I say to my friends is inappropriate. Just this week we’ve had a 9/11 joke, and Abraham Lincoln joke and a picture of Jesus as a leather daddy.

@the_diego

Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company.

This might just be me, but I could never keep a relationship going with a woman that I couldn’t drink with. Then again, I’m a terrible person (see: 9/11 joke).

@snfaulkner

Or after you’ve puked red wine all over a white carpet at some stranger’s house…

Or after you’ve puked white rum onto a red carpet with the cameras rolling, then eating the film, telling everyone present "If you breathe a word of this “they’ll never find your body!” then escaping on a totally rad hover-bike. Seriously, that would be a great story.