Gotta love good catalog copy

[RiverRunner]

OK, I’m a ThinkGeek kinda guy. There are scads of things there that I would like to own but don’t want to actually pay for. I don’t own a lot of the stuff they sell, but I like to read over the catalogs and web site and chuckle at the writing. I’m seriously thinking of buying their pocket laser light show, and I think part of the reason why may just be this bit of copy:

Hundreds of variations in the display are possible. Most are very spirographical and symmetrical patterns. Including a butt. Though some folks will mistake the butt for a lima bean, don’t let them fool you. It’s definitely a butt.

There just aren’t many companies around who put stuff like this in their ads. Here’s another one, from the Interactive Tribbles page:

That’s some impressive breeding, right there. It would make any man want to high-five any tribble, except tribbles don’t have arms.

These tribbles, however, are genetically altered to be sterile.

And one day I’m gonna get me a plasma mug.
RR

[Thudlow_Boink]

Ar you familiar with the American Science & Surplus catalog?

I probably ought to provide an example or two, so here are a few ineresting item descriptions I came up with after a few minutes’ browsing:

Screeching Monkey Superhero

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a screeching flying monkey to the rescue! And at a screechingly low price. Our hero is an 11" long stuffed monkey in superhero togs (a cape, and maybe a mask or hood, depending on his sartorial whim). Put two fingers in the little pockets on his paws, pull his bungee arms back, and let him go. He’ll fly a good 25 feet or more, issuing hideous monkey screeches all the while, faster than a flying nun and able to brighten up a day in the office in a single bound.

We Can’t Hear You…

we’ve got a banana in our ear. Found it with the Medi-Scope" Kit. You can find assorted other stuff in ears, noses and throats around your house with this 5" long penlight-powered medical scope that includes a snap-on magnifying head, angled mirror, (2) different-sized clip-on tongue depressors, and (2) specula that snap onto the magnifier. You add a pair of “AA” batteries. Happy hunting.

Terra Cotta Chinese Army

These are very nice miniature replicas of (4) different Chinese terra cotta warriors, modeled on the army unearthed at Xi’an. Ours are 2-1/2" tall, except for the kneeling figure, who’s shorter, of course, because he’s on his knees. Granted, if you’re planning to replicate the 8,099 soldiers in the original you’ll need a substantial order (which, as of this writing, we could fill), but even a few dozen would be mighty impressive lined up on the coffee table.

[RiverRunner]

@Thudlow_Boink

Ar you familiar with the American Science & Surplus catalog?

I probably ought to provide an example or two, so here are a few ineresting item descriptions I came up with after a few minutes’ browsing:

Oh, that’s so cool. ThinkGeek has the monkey, too, but AS&S has it for a buck less. And I just ordered some of the Terra Cotta warriors, and a changeaball, and . . .
. . . and my wife is gonna kill me if I don’t quit going to these websites.
RR

[Shamozzle]

@Thudlow_Boink

Ar you familiar with the American Science & Surplus catalog?

Cool stuff, but what’s with the sketches of the products? No photographs? I feel like I’m looking at the back of a comic book from 1976.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@Shamozzle

Cool stuff, but what’s with the sketches of the products? No photographs?

Want photos? Try pointing your cursor where it says “View Photo”!

[Bosstone]

I love Thinkgeek so much. If I had disposable income I’d buy up their entire catalog.

Woot.com also has fun copy for their products. They sell one thing a day (except for their special sales where they constantly sell one product after another as quickly as they sell out for two days straight), and their copy is always brilliant. Here’s a quote from the sound system currently up on the site:

With the SLS QS-1000, Jones teamed up with high-end speaker geniuses SLS to develop a 5.1 surround audio setup that destroys the typical home-theater-in-a-box limitations. And at about 100 pounds, one that probably destroys the backs of many a deliveryman, as well.

Here’s the blog containing previous entries.

[Shamozzle]

@Thudlow_Boink

Want photos? Try pointing your cursor where it says “View Photo”!

Dumb factor: 6.3 MD (MegaD’oh)