Gotta pit- the cops.

The BBQ Pit
1

I have now received the fifth ticket of my life. Let me tell y’all about them. All but one were bogus.

First ticket- I was driving up Harbor Blvd., in Anaheim, CA. Probably 17, just got my driver’s license. Was in a little bit of a hurry, I do admit, but didn’t break any traffic laws. I had to go home for more change to finish my laundry at the laundromat, and was in a rush to get back to the place, the place was filled with low-types and I was afraid my clothes would go missing. I didn’t break the speed limit, signaled every turn and was pulled over. The cop said “I ought to kick your ass”. He followed me for three miles and cited me for every little thing that he could think of. It almost made me lose my driving privileges. When I got back to the laundry, sure enough, my clothes were stolen. Cost me a fortune for the ticket, and I was wearing and hand washing the same outfit for weeks until I could build up a basic wardrobe again. Thanks, pig!

Second ticket- I drove from LA to Seattle, to attend the Ring Cycle. On my way up the 5 freeway, south of the city, I noticed a speed trap that they were running between two hills, and made a note to be careful through the area. On the way back south, I was careful to obey the 55 limit. I was pulled over anyway. Stinking cop told me “You were doing 56.” I totally dressed him down, and have never paid the ticket. All the other motorists in the trap had out of state plates. I taped it to my side window and got a lot of thumbs up from motorists as I headed back to the Oregon border.

Third ticket- I was driving delivery in my personal vehicle in Irvine, CA. Pulled over by an Irvine cop. “Officer, why did you pull me over?” “You have a dirty car, and a lot of those are stolen.” “WTF?” “Well, when people steal cars, they often drive a long distance, so they can get away with it, so I was concerned that you were driving a stolen car.” “Here is my license and registration in my name, am I free to go?” “No, I saw you run a red light, so I am writing you a ticket.” The last intersection was several miles back, and it was a STOP SIGN. After that, I noticed in my delivery duties, that every car I saw pulled over in Irvine was old or dirty.

Fourth ticket- I was driving down the 605 freeway in Orange County, obeying the speed limit. CHP pulls in behind me and puts on the red light. “Why did you pull me over?” In his best "We have a failure to communicate redneck drawl, he informed me, “You were driving the speed limit, and people that drive the speed limit are usually hauling drugs.” He didn’t search my car, but wrote me a ticket for “unsafe lane change”. I had been in the same lane for miles, and signaled to change lanes when he pulled me over.

Fifth ticket, for the first time, I was actually guilty as charged, I was pulled over here in Burbank for a seatbelt violation. Which I would never had gotten if I had just driven as heedlessly as a lot of the folks around here. I actually made a full stop before making a right turn on red, yielding to pedestrians. The copper was making a left from the opposite direction and motioned me over. I am quite sure, if I had run the intersection, I never would have been popped.

My neighbor was just pulled over the other day. He drives an older car that doesn’t look like much, but is totally street legal. The copper conducted a big fishing expedition, finding nothing. Neighbor asks him, “why did you pull me over?” Piggie says, “you have a brake light out, get it fixed.” Didn’t write him a ticket, and guess what? Brake light was fine. Of course that is a great excuse. Motorist can’t really verify the claim during the stop, and later it is your word against the cop’s.

All this is aside from the fact that the PD here tried to coerce a murder confession out of my friend, and never lifted a finger to find the real killer of his WIFE.

Fuck the police. I used to respect them. Now I know they are nothing but a publicly sanctioned extortionistic gang of thugs.

2

When you keep getting tickets, over and over again, from multiple law eenforcement agencies, we are forced to consider the possibility that just maybe, you’re full of shit.

3

It’s not like he’s saying he got them all in the same week, though.

You didn’t, did you Stan? Your narrative actually gives no clues as to how far apart the citations were, timewise.

4

I completely don’t understand Ticket #1. Why did he want to kick your ass? Why did he pull you over? What tickets did you get?

That being asked, damn, other than a dirty car what do you do to piss off so many cops.

I pretty much drive over the speed limit at all times, pretty far over most times. I got one ticket for failing to stop when I was 16. My next one when I was 30 something for following too close which I took to court and won. My last, I was 47 for speeding, they finally got me (35 in a 25 zone).

5

I’m trying to picture this. What did you tape to the side window? The ticket?

And who gave you the thumbs up? I can see that happening if it was other motorists who were also stopped in the same area, and who could see what you were doing. At first I thought you meant that, after you got back on the road, other motorists, heading toward you at a closing speed of 110 mph, were able to see the ticket, recognize what it was, figure out that you were some kind of awesome righteous dude, and give you a thumbs up, all in about half a second.

6

QFT.

7

I’m very dubious of number 4 on the list. Even if a cop were stupid enough to make some tenuous connection between “driving the speed limit” and “hauling drugs”, he’d have to be doubly stupid to explain it that way to the poor schmuck he pulled over.

“I pulled you over for obeying all the traffic laws … just what are you hiding anyway?”

I’d bet there are other factors involved. I don’t know how old Stan Schmenge is (or his brother Yosh, for that matter), or what kind of car he was driving, but I’d bet a 25 year old kid with tattoos and a goatee, driving a 1988 Ford Escort would be pulled over for driving the speed limit a lot faster than a 60 year old woman, wearing a gingham dress and driving a 2007 Chrysler New Yorker would.

8

13 years driving for same day courier service. 50-75,000 miles/year in SF Bay Area. Multiple packages, some with less than 2 hour service times.

1 ticket.

9

Reminds me of the time I was pulled over by two cops. Cop One comes to my window, Cop Two stands behind the car. Cop One tells me they want to check if my lights work. He asks me to press the brakes, I dutifully comply, and Cop Two shouts: “Working”.

Cop One then asks me to indicate left, whereupon I hear Cop Two respond: “Working, not working, working, not working, working, not working…”

10

~makes mental note to speed a bit next time hauling drugs~

11

Of course it is impossible to find out–but I wonder what the cops’ stories were about the incidents? Probably more reasonable.

I’ve been driving since 1957–two tickets.

12

Yeah, next time I’m looking hard at sinus medications, make sure I know someone is stalking me. Or else I might not get a fright.

Oh and don’t have bad teeth, you might be a meth addict. Yep, that’s all they need.

13

It wasn’t actually gingham, it was houndstooth.

And I’m dubious about tickets 1, 2, 3, and 4. And the neighbor. But not necessarily the murdered wife. We’ve all dealt with that.:rolleyes:

But it was certainly houndstooth.

14

Who gives a shit? Get an LJ, you TLDR dipshit.

15

I’ve never been pulled over unless I was doing over 90. Can I still be outraged?

16

Only if it was in Canada.

17

Could a law-enforcement-type confirm something for me?

For ticket #2 he says “I totally dressed him down, and have never paid the ticket.” If you never pay a ticket, doesn’t it turn into a Really Big Deal, like a bench warrant or something? I thought that was the purpose of those “Come pay your tickets today and we’ll look the other way as to how long it’s been” days that the city sometimes advertises.

Am I incorrect?

18

If I decipher the OP’s ramblings correctly, he recieved the ticket in Washington and he lives in California. I imagine it’s easier to get away with not paying for an out of state ticket than an in state ticket. But he might get pulled over for it in the future and bitch about the cops being mean to him.

19

Who the fuck carries tape in their car? :rolleyes:

20

A few of the stories seem dubious or outright fabricated, at least in the manner in which the OP told them. Add in the fact the OP clearly has “issues” with law enforcement and I basically have to call BS on his entire post.

Most likely he’s just a dumbass that gets pulled over a lot because he does stupid things. Like most dumbasses he completely lacks any personal accountability for his actions.