Grade/Review all the Star Wars films

Cafe Society
1

I was inspired by the other thread to post my own thoughts about all eight (live action) films in the Star Wars franchise. I’ll post my thoughts and rankings/grades first; I’d love if you guys also did the same.

Phantom Menace: : Some interesting concepts, beautiful landscapes, I actually liked Qui-Gonn Jinn. But this should have been a side movie that was basically an Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon adventure. It’s a very, very flawed film and is basically, in terms of the overall saga of SW, filler. Qui-Gon is the only likable character. The only standout moment for me is the duel at the end. Even viewed on it’s own, it’s poor. Which is sad, because the sets and such are amazing. 3/10

Clones: This is not a great film by any movies, but it’s a film I admit to truly enjoying. While Anakin is portrayed in a wooden fashion, it’s not unbearable, and the film is basically a great pop-corn movie - nothing more, nothing less. I like Obi-Wan, Windu, and Dooku quite a bit. It’s a great sci-fi B movie. However, viewed in term of the overall saga, most of it is filler. As a standalone film, it’s one of the most “fun” SW films. It feels like a 1930s serial to me, or a 1950s adventure film. It’s an enjoyable, very retro feeling romp. 7/10

Sith: I actually don’t like this film as much as II. This is the film which contains the meat of the backstory and it fails to deliver on that. It focuses far too much on drama and too little on entertainment. The best Star Wars film, Empire, gives both equally. General Grievous is a cartoon of a character. Anakin not becoming Vader until the very end was a letdown. His fall from grace could’ve been handled better. 4/10

Rogue One; How a prequel should’ve been done. Interesting characters, a film that feels like it could’ve come out in 1977. It was delightfully retro, while also for the first time bringing some gray into the Rebellion - These aren’t just the white knight good guys; these are raggy rebels, not all are good people. The plot was clever, and I was genuinely saddened when the characters met their fates. A solid 8.5/10

Star Wars: My god, one of the most brilliant films ever made. Swashbuckling adventure in space. Beautiful score. Luke is a bit whiny here, but his whininess is made up for by the awesome Han Solo and Obi-Wan. The film is basically a fairy tale set in space, and so while it is rather simplistic, it is also deeply satisfying, something that can be watched again and again. Luke’s petulance keeps this film from a perfect score. 9.5/10

Empire: The perfect science-fantasy film. An amazing mixture of drama and adventure. A film that is dark without being utterly bleak. Lando Calrissian is one of the most dashing characters in a sci-fi film; Cloud City is breathtaking. The Empire is at its height here, fearsome, powerful, and you see just how outnumbered our heroes are. The direction is powerful; the film takes the mythic ideals of the Force and turns it into something truly spiritual and transcendent. Yoda as a concept shouldn’t work - a Muppet in a serious Sci-Film? Yet Yoda becomes one of the most memorable characters ever put to screen. This film is pretty much perfect from start to finish. Solid 10/10.

Jedi: A certain tiredness sets in here. The film is good, and enjoyable, but there’s a certain feeling that the actors are kind of going through the motions (with the exception of Hamill, Jones, and Ian). Ford is bland here and given nothing to do, and he sleepwalks through the role. Fisher, it’s easy to tell, was going through issues during filming and also sleepwalks through the film, her vitality as an actress in Empire is gone. This isn’t a film I often return to. Everything feels a little cheaper, a little less loved in this film. The only memorable parts for me are those with Vader, Luke, and the Emperor - I don’t care for the rest. The Ewoks are cute, though. 7/10

TFA: It doesn’t feel like Star Wars to me. The plot is a retread of the original film. Rey isn’t very interesting as a character. She goes through no character development over the course of the film. She’s gifted because the plot demands it. The most interesting character, Finn, is reduced to the film’s comic relief. Harrison Ford saves this film, but he’s also fan service. Ren is perhaps the worst villain of the entire franchise (with the exception of Grievous). The original elements of this film’s plot just feel like those of a standard sci-fi film. There’s nothing really interesting here. It’s not a fuckup in the way TPM was, but it’s just okay - and that’s about the worst thing a film can be. 5/10

2

I’ve only seen the main six and it’s been a really long time since I saw the original three.

Phantom Menace: “I guess Lucas decided to target the 8 year old audience again. Is that really his target audience in this day and age? Who’s the main character of this film?”

Clones: “Oh okay, it seems to be Obi-Wan. I wonder how many people are going to figure that out? Man, the romance is really forced. Clone army? a) Why would you pick a mercenary instead of a faithful soldier as the basis for your clone army? b) I’m pretty sure that the Stormtroopers were not all the same height before. c) I’m pretty sure that the Stormtroopers were famously incompetent.”

Sith: “Ah, well I appreciate the attempt at having a real political/strategic backstory to all this. But otherwise, all the acting outside of Ewan MacGreggor is crap and Anakin’s turn to darkness is way too forced. You really needed to have just committed to tell a dark story with a sad ending, and focused on Darth Vader, or just stick with Obi-Wan so that you could have a happier story. Trying to do both just doesn’t work.”

Star Wars: “Popcorn Flick: The Movie!”

Empire: “Things happen! Filling time while deciding what to do in the third film since we shot our load in the first film!”

Jedi: “Pop corn flick for 8 year olds? Wait why is there a sex slave in this film if you’re targeting kids? Oh hey, I’ve got a good idea for how to end this, let’s just steal the ending from the first movie again!”

3

IV: A
V: A-
VI: B+
I: F
II: F
III: F
The newest one: B

(I give Rogue One a B+, but apparently that’s not canon.)

4

IV A
V A+
VI B+
I. D
II E
III. F
new one C- (had Ford, Fisher and Hamill)
Rogue Z-

5

In order of release:
IV- 8/10
V- 9/10
VI- 7/10
I- 5/10
II- 7/10
III-8/10
VII- 7.5/10
Rogue- 8.5/10

Aside from Phantom Menace, I seem to like the prequels more than most. Although if you look at IMDB, Sith has a pretty good rating of 7.6 so maybe I am not in the minority after all.

6

Huh? Of course Rogue One was canon.

7

My ratings:

TPM: C-
AotC: C+
RotS: B-
ANH: A
ESB: A+
RotJ: B+
TFA: B+
R1: A-

I’m probably an easy critic for Star Wars. I’ve loved it since I was just a little tyke in the audience at the first run of RotJ.

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Menace: D-
Clones - C
Sith - C+
New Hope - B
Empire - A
Return of the Jedi - A
Force Awakens - A-
Rogue One - B-

I can not emphasize enough how much I’d forgotten the badness of Phantom Menace. I went into it again optimistically, but was surprised how bad the middle hour was.

9

Never mind that; I’d appreciate you walking me through why you give JEDI higher marks than ANH. (I mean, cracks about TPM aren’t remarkable; but ANH?)

10

My mistake. Good!

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Menace: D- Really poor acting and a directionless script, but with a few genuinely good scene.
Clones - F. An utter abortion of a movie. All of the flaws of the previous, magnified, none of its few graces.
Sith - C- Some good action scenes, the characters are starting to have character, Anakins downfall almost works dramatically, but the previous movies failed to set the ground work.
New Hope - A. Classic, iconic.
Empire - A. Continues the headlong momentum of the original film, while adding some solid world building. Manages to make scenes about space wizards philosophizing work.
Return of the Jedi - B- Manages to mostly deliver on the emotional stakes established in the first two films, while unfortunately retreading a lot of the same plot ground.
Force Awakens - C. The best character work in any of the Star Wars movies goes a long way towards making up for some of the worst world building in the series to date. Which arguably makes it the definitive JJ Abrams movie.
Rogue One - A- Exactly how a prequel should work. Adds to the original movies without overshadowing them, and fits together with them like a jigsaw puzzle. Could have used some stronger characterization.

12

It is my understanding that with the Disney takeover, only movies will now be considered canon, not any of the EU stuff or games. I don’t know if that is the current situation though.

13

Phantom Menace: F
Terrible, just terrible. Horrible acting. Midichlorians. Jar-Jar.

Attack of the Clones: F
More terribleness. Completely boring on every level. More bad acting.

Revenge of the Sith: D-
Pretty damn awful. Yoda sucks. Cringe worthy acting. “She’s lost the will to live…” “Nooooooo!”

A New Hope: A
Awesome. Likeable characters. Perfect plot pacing and action.

Empire Strikes Back: A+
Extended awesomeness. Neat worlds and plot development. Yoda before he was ruined.

Return of the Jedi: B-
Good but Ewoks, too many Muppets, and a musical number.

The Force Awakens: C+
A decent effort, if a bit derivative.

Rogue One: D
Ugh. Lame. I actively dislike the main characters, much less all of the many boring side ones. The scene where the Rebels are ready to give up was just stupid. Physical data retrieval system.

14

When Disney bought the property, all the existing Star Wars stuff was de-canonized, except the six feature films and the Clone Wars television cartoon. Everything released since the Disney take over is part of the new canon, comics, games, tv shows, and so forth included.

15

I’ve been re-watching the movies a lot since my kids are now the age to see them. I do like ANH, of course, but it is clear to me that even with the Ewok sections, it is a better movie than the original. I can’t walk you through it, but it is how me, my wife, and my kids feel.

16

The exact situation is:

All movies = canon.
All TV shows, books, and games post Disney = canon
Clone Wars & Rebels cartoon = canon
Original Clone Wars show = No longer canon
Pre-Disney EU works (games, books, etc) = No longer canon

17

Thing is, I feel Jedi was sort of the first remake of ANH. While it’s not as clearly a retread as TFA is, it’s still very unoriginal IMO. I mean, you got Tattooine again, a second Death Star, and so on. Also, turning Leia into Luke’s sister is kind of a boner for the series. It’s a cop-out, and makes the universe feel that much smaller.

The only issues I have with ANH are the pacing and Luke’s whinyness. To be honest, I’ve never much cared for Luke’s character except in Jedi. He’s kind of a whiny snot in the first two films. And before anyone says “Anakin was worse” yeah, but Anakin was headed for the Dark Side anyway. Luke is supposed to be our clean-cut, goody two shoes hero, and he’s annoying as hell at times.

My biggest problem with Jedi is the fact that Ford and Fisher just sleepwalk through the movies, and their romance is just given a last minute (literally, end of the movie) quick resolution. A lot of Jedi feels rushed to me, compressed, which it was.

18

Does anyone else kind of mentally exclude TPM now, and look at:

Attack of the Clones
Revenge of the Sith
Rogue One

as a sort of prequel trilogy?

I mean, nothing in TPM is consequential to the next two movies, and we get enough of TPM’s major plot points in Clones that it can stand alone. We leave the galaxy in darkness and Anakin/Vader a shell of a man at the end of Sith, and pick up nearly 20 years later in Rogue One. We see that Vader is still a husk of a man but has now settled into his role as the Dark Father of the Galaxy; the Empire has consolidated its power; and a rebellion is beginning to take shape; And the events of RO lead directly into ANH - it ends minutes before ANH begins.

I find as such that those three films can constitute a prequel trilogy and that TPM can easily be excluded even for a first time viewer without raising many questions.

19

As a pretty big fan, here’s my short take on the movies

The Phantom Menace - The worst of the lot by far. It has very little replay value for me, except for the amazing light saber action scenes. Darth Maul needed more screen time. Lousy acting and boring sub plots, along with the annoying Jar-Jar Binks make this one the absolute low tide of all Star Wars movies. 5 out of 10.

Attack of the Clones - I like this one a lot because the new characters get screen time and shine. Christopher Lee’s Count Dukoo was a major addition. Jango Fett, pretty solid. The action in the Attack of the Clones was the best of the bunch, and there is a good plot to follow. It also has the best monster scenes of all-star wars. 8.5 out of 10.

Revenge of the Sith - Solid. You learn how Darth Vader was seduced by the manipulating Emperor, and how the Jedi became undone. Obi Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader is perhaps the best light saber duel in the entire series, and that’s saying a lot. 8 out of 10

Rogue One - Now this was a breath of fresh air after a very predictable re-cycled material in the Force Awakens. Gritty, emotional, with the best special effects of the bunch. Obscure minor characters were weaved into the movie and deceased actors brought back to life give a great nod to the original series. One of the best in the series. 9.5 out of 10.

Star Wars - The gold standard for all science fiction movies, visually groundbreaking in many ways, full of bravery, treachery, and life and death. It has the best Han Solo of the series in my opinion. The trench run scene attack on the Death Star, up against the odds and time with Luke trusting to use his new force powers to me is the absolute high point of the series. The musical score is fantastic.
10 out of 10

**Empire Strikes Back **- Most fans think this is the best of the series.
A master piece for sure, but I think it’s a bit too much comic relief at times. Yoda was a great character, but a bit too puppet like.

9 out of 10.

Return of the Jedi.

A fantastic beginning and ending with mediocre stuff in the middle.

8 out of 10

The Force Awakens. Hmmm, and escape and crash landing on a desert planet, with the plans hidden in a droid, and then they blow up the death star.

RIP OFF. Ray is rather boring and has zero character development, except for off the charts force level power and hidden skills she never knew she had to constantly move things along.

Kylo Ren…the worst Sith ever on film. Ford was better and got the death he wanted for his Han solo, but you could see it coming from a mile away.

7 out of 10. Once the cat nip wears off, this movie will not stand the test of time.

20

Finally someone agrees with me that Attack of the Clones is actually really enjoyable :slight_smile: I love Obi-Wan’s plotline through that film especially - it’s like a detective story. All of the new worlds are interesting. It’s also the most vast of the films - we cover 5 planets in total in that film, and each one is different from the other and interesting in and of itself. I also love the designs and aesthetics of Clones - it’s basically 1940-1960s Raygun Retro-future aesthetics with a big budget. The Gladiator fight is awesome and one of the coolest scenes in the franchise. The decadent nightlife of Coruscant is also intriguing.