Is it legal for a Catholic priest in New Hampshire to hold hostage a gravestone and not return it to it’s rightful position as a grave marker? The stone was knocked over by vandals but then held in “storage” for several years. What’s the legal standing of the deceased’s family?
Not sure about NH, but in NJ, the family owns the tombstone and the right to inter (the cemetery still owns the land). Their burial contract should spell out their right to display a tombstone. So, if this was Jersey, you could sue him and definitely win.
Legal question? Moved from General Questions to IMHO.
samclem, moderator
There is a complication in that the grave has become a place where, in the past, people have come to “party.” They leave a mess and it has angered the local Priest so much that he now refuses to return the stone.
Perhaps one of the lawyers on the Board could weigh in on the issue of “attractive nuisance”.
Hmm that’s a real shame 
I don’t have any legal advice other than to try to talk to a lawyer in your area who could advise you on your options.
I’m sorry this is happening to someone who you know has passed away and whose grave site is visited by a bunch of jerks who don’t treat it well.
It’s scandalous and I believe, illegal. The Priest won’t budge and there’s a stalemate. He’s sitting on a powderkeg! If this story hits the headlines, he’s going to garner a great deal of negative publicity.
A priest takes orders from a bishop, yes? Perhaps the family could contact the bishop and ask him to intervene.
I’m wondering if keeping the partiers out should be his responsibility, rather than ‘confiscating’ a headstone.
Please try to give us a little insight as to why this grave marker is such an attractive nuisance (not that it will have any bearing on the actual situation; I’m just insanely curious). Is there an unusual name or set of dates on the marker that particularly distinguishes this from other stones in the cemetery?
It’s the grave of a person of some notoriety.
Agreed. This seems like the best route before you involve lawyers.
Look at ways to secure the stone so it would require heavy equipment to move it.
Perhaps a hole 4’x4’x4’, with a 1" rebar loop protruding almost to the top of the stone, filled with concrete.
Cut corresponding slot in stone, then pour high-strength cement over the rebar just before lowering the stone down onto the base.
Most stones rely on gravity to keep them on their foundations, making them easy for drunk assholes to tip over.
The stone is now, effective, a hundred pounds of granite joined to several hundred pounds of concrete - and the center of gravity is 2’ below the surface.
It would require at least a medium-sized 'dozer to move such a thing.
Propose this to the Priest - if his action is based on a fear of constant tipping, he should agree.
If not, talk to the Bishop. About a week before going public.
It’s not like Bishops have a rep for intervening to stop bad behavior by a subordinate Priest.
ooooohhh, a scandal! Okay, I gotta bite…
Details, please, details.
If this story is likely to “hit the headlines”, I presume you’re willing (and perhaps hoping) to make some details public.
Who is this dead person “of some notoriety” ?
And why are people partying on his grave? This is itself a good reason to start a scandal–but probably the side which deserves to be embarrassed and scandalized is not the priest.
There may be an interesting legal issue here…involving tresspassing, in addition to ownership of the gravestone.
How about proposing a compromise?
- Maybe the priest returns the gravestone, but places a sign on the cemetery that all visits after dark must be arranged in advance and accompanied by the priest..
(I presume the parties took place at night…after all, it’s a cemetery, and ya ain’t gonna have a good spooky party during the day.)
Who is it? It seems as if you are trying to give as little specific information as possible, and that is usually done by those trying to drive the conversation in a certain direction.
I’d much rather not say. I just wondered about the legality of the situation.
I would think the priest has no right to keep the stone, that he must turn it over to the family and they have a right to display it.
If there is an issue with partiers and whatnot, then they need to beef up security at the cemetary - fences, no trespassing signs, security cameras and police reports.
I take it from the posts that the OP has nothing to do with the situation, that is to say that this is not a gravestone of one of his relatives.
I’d ask if the priest is really ‘holding the gravesstone hostage’? has someone with legal authority within the family actually demanded return of the stone?
Does the OP personally know the family member responsible for the stone or indeed any family member of the deceased?
As to “sitting on a powderkeg” and facing bad publicity, it doesn’t really seem that way to me. The priest (or let’s say cemetary keeper) is safely storing an item which was in fact vandalized and seems to be an attraction for further vandalization and other unlawful or at the least unsavory activities. How bad of an impression is that going to make on the public? If it wasn’t a priest and just a lay cemetary custodian?
Finally, why would being in New Hampshire make any difference?
Possibly.
The grave is now unmarked because the stone that the family placed there has been removed and not restored. If the cemetary owner has not at least made an attempt to contact the family, I would be annoyed. If he’s actively refusing to return it, that’s probably illegal, but we don’t know that’s the case. If he merely refuses to spend money to restore it himself and can’t reach the family, then that is something else.
Because jurisdiction often makes a difference in legal matters. Just what are the appropriate laws relating to gravestones, cemetaries, and vandals and parties?
Could be GG Allin. Scroll to bottom of story.