Existing script:
The trunk of the Chevy OPENS UP, Jules and Vincent reach
inside, taking out two .45 Automatics, loading and cocking
them.
JULES
We should have shotguns for this
kind of deal.
VINCENT
How many up there?
JULES
Three or four.
VINCENT
Counting our guy?
JULES
I'm not sure.
VINCENT
So there could be five guys up
there?
JULES
It's possible.
VINCENT
We should have fuckin' shotguns.
I’d change that last line to:
VINCENT
We should have fuckin' machine guns.
That’s it. One simple word changed, yet it completely makes sense when Butch picks up Vincent’s machine gun in Butch’s apartment. See, if Vincent hadn’t wanted a machine gun, he would have had his gun (big-ass pistol) with him in the bathroom, and wouldn’t have died. It’s sensible, and ironic.
Trading Places had some of the best comedy scenes of the 80s (or any other decade- Eddie Murphy was at his funniest), but the sideplot with the gorilla suit and Franken & Davis seemed like it was written five minutes before it was shot by writers who’d been watching an episode of Gilligan’s Island while stoned.
Contact- the scene in which Ellie tries to contact her dead parents by shortwave was silly and out of character. Matthew McConaughey is certainly purty to look at, but he was totally miscast as Palmer Joss- the role needed somebody older and more obviously intelligent.
Like all the scenes where Frodo predictably fell down, over and over, on the way because he was sooo tired. Yeah, we understood that he was very tired. You didn’t need to show us 15 times.
I really enjoyed Denzel Washington’s peformance in Training Day, and the first two thirds of the movie or so were quite good, worth watching. But then the third act went all to cop-movie-cliche hell. (Except it was nice to see Ethan Hawke having trouble holding onto his gun while he leapt around on balconies - that’s something a lot of movies ignore.) Why don’t we flush the last third and rewrite it un-crappily?
I desperately hope that the DVD of The Last Samurai has the real ending we were all expecting. Please. It would have been a much, much better movie if the ending were changed (really I quite enjoyed it in general and kind of think that the people who outright hated it were just responding to the presence of Tom Cruise.)
Army of Darkness. It would have been perfect with less three stooges jokes, and humor that at times that was downright hokey, and a little more action and horror.
When I saw this in the theatres at the time it seemed obvious to me that Micheal’s bringing Pentageli/Clemenza’a brother into the hearing was a thinly veiled threat that they would wack his family if he testified.
I think this means that the stage musical had a different ending than the movie musical (without reference to the c. 1960 Roger Corman movie).
My choice: Vertigo. Great movie, but I’d sure as hell like to remove
the scene where Kim Novak sits down and writes a letter explaining everything. It destroys the ambiguity that’s been established – is she the same girl? Is Jimmy Stewart freaking nuts? – and breaks the tension, besides giving us information that’s repeated in the final scene.
"Farmer Maggot’s after us. Let’s all fall down the hill!
“Pippin’s had too much too drink and he’s blabbing. I must fall on the floor!”
“Nazgul are closing in. Should I counterattack and call on Elbereth, or fall over backward?”
“Hiking through the snow is boring. I’m going to practice falling.”
“Gandalf’s facing a Balrog. It’s time for me to… They stole my move! No-o-o-o-o!”
“Boromir wants the Ring. I’ll escape by falling on my face!”
“The Eye of Sauron is upon me. I’d better fall down these steps!”
In the second film, Sam tries to show his quality to Frodo by Falling outside the Black Gates, but makes a rookie mistake by falling toward the enemy. Proving that evasive falling should be left to Hobbits, Aragorn hurts himself so badly it takes a kiss from an enchanted horse to revive him.
In the third movie, we see Gollum finally getting in touch with his Hobbity self, first with a rather modest fall into a shadowy ravine, but finally with a climactic, slow-motion plunge during which we see on his face the utter rapture of a Hobbit in free-fall.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail. As much as I like the movie…
…I hate the Castle Anthrax scene. It’s out of place, takes way too long and isn’t funny. It almost seems like someone just decided to splice the scene into the middle of the movie just to make the film longer or something. Without this scene the movie would be almost flawless, but as it is, the scene just breaks up the tempo and humor.
I totally agree on the L.A. Confidential and Pulp Fiction suggestions–two of my all-time favorite movies, that are each so close to perfection. Although Tarantino’s acting honestly doesn’t bother me (and often makes me laugh), I agree Buscemi would have been the ideal Jimmy.
Dark City - I would remove the narration by Dr. Shreber (Kiefer Sutherland) from the beginning. His voice-over spoon-feeds answers to the audience that they will figure out later (at best) and spoils the entire movie (at worst).
X-Men - I’d cut Halle Berry’s line: “Do you know what happens to a toad that gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.” It is a horrible line to begin with (apparently added to the script by Joss Whedon), and she delivers it like she’s reading Shakespeare. I love the movie, but that line makes me cringe every time. And I honestly don’t see the Halle Berry appeal at all. In fact, I’d recast Angela Bassett as Storm.
Spider-Man - I’d cut the line where Spider-Man refers to the Green Goblin as “Gobby” (again too silly), and totally change the Green Goblin’s costume. It looks way too cheesy and “Power Rangers”-like, especially compared to the great job they did on Spidey’s costume. To me, the second half really suffers with all the Goblin stuff. Also…
I’d cut the scene in the beginning where Spider-Man lets Uncle Ben’s murderer, the robber, fall to his death. This immediately makes Spidey a killer as well, and not only is it completely out of character, but he didn’t kill the guy in the original origin story in the comics.
The Mel Gibson movie Ransom is a scary little kidnapping drama that turns into an idiotic chase in the last 15 minutes when Gary Sinise, a corrupt police officer who headed a gang that kidnapped Gibson’s son, shows up at Gibson’s apartment to collect a cash reward. This gives the traumatized boy a chance to recognize Sinise’s voice (he never actually saw Sinise during the ordeal), which prompts Gibson to chase Sinise through the city in moral indignation; a chase that eventually leads to Sinise’s death.
Had this forced happy ending (letting the audience satisfy its bloodlust and get a sense of closure) been chopped and Sinise simply got away with the reward (there is no earthly reason Sinise has to go to Gibson’s apartment) it would have been a much better movie.
Yes yes and YES. First time I saw this movie I came in right as he was waking up in the tub…It’s a TOTALLY different movie that way.
Second time I saw it I couldn’t believe the voice over at the begining. It took the joy out of figuring the movie out on your own away. (even though I knew it still sucked much of the life out of it)
Allow Lucas to oversee the project but get a new director.
Use Lucas’ storyline but have someone rewrite the script’s dialog.
Recast Anakin in both episode 1 and 2.
Recast Natalie Portman’s role.
Cut out references to modern day culture (i.e. having the sports announcers at the pod race).
NO JAR JAR!! C-3P0 is the only comic relief these movies need.
I can’t believe that I remember this, but Eddie was on Letterman promoting the movie back in the day and said that that scene was funnier “as written”. Franken and Davis were supposed to be high - and reference this fact on screen - but the producers decided that they didn’t want too many drug references - remember Eddie smoking a joint in the bathroom earlier? - so they went from “stoned” baggage attendants to just “stupid” baggage attendants. EM himself said that was the weakest point of the movie on Letterman.
Lucas shoud have done what he did with Empire and Jedi–produced them, practically directed the special effects sequences, and picked a director and writer to flesh out the rest.
The one change to Eps I and II that would have made the movies 100% better would be to make Aanakin 17 or 18 years old in Episode I instead of 9 years old. That way 1)No Jake Lloyd, 2) the parallels with Luke are greater and 3) there is the possibility for the same three-way romantic tension you had between Luke, Leia, and Han in A New Hope.
