RETURN OF THE SITH: Take out the “Noooooooooooooooo!”
PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Add a funny cartoon dog sidekick.
ALEXANDER: (there was a lot wrong with this movie, but if I could just change one thing to improve (not perfect it)- Get rid of the flashbacks. Tell the story in a linear fashion, from childhood to death. Flashbacks are an irritating affectation.
THE BIRDCAGE: Have some balls and make Robin Williams & Nathan Lane a real couple (like they were in La Cage Aux Folles) rather than the funny asexual fags they were in the end result. If it’s just “one” particular thing- have Armand’s fight occur when a homophobe insults Albert (again as it happened in La Cage) rather than when Armand’s just trying to act macho.
GODS & MONSTERS: the opposite of Alexander- more flashbacks.
THE COLOR PURPLE: Restore the scene of Celie and Mister as much older characters sitting on the porch chatting as old friends. Mister’s redemption was vital to the book and only hinted at in the movie, which is one reason it was considered so defamatory of black men. (If I could change two things, the other would be to delete a copule of the scenes of Harpo falling threw roofs- he wasn’t a total fool.*)
THE GODFATHER- explain why all charges were dropped agains Michael when he came out of hiding. (It’s in the book but I wondered when I saw the movie.)
FLIGHT PLAN- Establish a link between her husband and the conspirators other than the conspirators just knowing his wife designed part of the plane engine [which still doesn’t explain how she’s a walking encyclopedia of the plane’s inner architecture]
This one is and isn’t about casting- it’s more about concept-
DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN (or any other Tyler Perry vehicle)- cast an old black woman (Irma Hall, for instance, or Della Reese, or give the chance of a lifetime to an unknown) as Madea. Perry is not the least bit believable as a woman (though in interviews he comes across as a total megalomaniac so I doubt he’d sell the rights at any price if he didn’t star).
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN- the Dementors should have been scarier.
THE AVIATOR- Another movie I think a flashback may have helped. An old naked recluse watching movies and reliving his life through them. At very least there should have been better afterwards (for example, the movie ends with Howard having another breakdown, but IRL he recovered and held it together for another 15 years or so [marrying twice more] before descending completely into paranoia.
*Alice Walker said that this was one of the two most irritating things about the movie to her (there were many others). The most irritating detail was that in the movie Mister, a poor farmer [poorer in the book than in the movie] in central Georgia decades before electricity, didn’t know how to start a fire in a stove.
