Well, gee IDBB, you convienently forgot to mention that your boss called you in to tell you you could get fired at the drop of a hat. Seems like kind of an important detail to forget dontchathink?
And thank you for proving my point about the fact that you don’t even aknowledge the people who are trying to help you with advice, like Canvasshoes and MandaJo.
And a PT Cruiser? Aren’t those rather expensive? And it can’t be that old of a model, since they are fairy new on the market. Actually, I just looked it up and the oldest model is a 2001. At the Kelly Blue Book trade in value for a 2001 $8,075-$13,050. And 2001’s are being advertised for 12 and 15K in the classifieds. Not as expensive as I thought but still a pretty nice trade in value. Could you guys sell it, pay cash for an older used car and not have to worry about a payment? Surely, if you’re hard up enough that the loss of income from Sonic is going to send you to the streets, you’re willing to sacrifice and drive a less showy car? :rolleyes:
I’m sorry, but I just have a hard time with the idea of a couple ending up on the street that currently own a house in a nice suburban area and drive a nice car with the loss of one person’s salary at a fast food joint. I’m not capping on your job at all, it just makes the whole “one step from being homeless” a little harder to swallow.
Is this the only place in the area where you can work? Sonic? They can’t possibly be paying you so much that you can’t find comparable work elsewhere. That just seems like a lot of stress to live under for a job that probably pays between $7-$9 an hour. How about cashiering at Wal-Mart or something? Life is short, IDBB. Don’t let a job at Sonic run your life and stress you out. That’s just not worth it.
It to me that IDBB just likes complaining about hers various jobs. She was in here bitching about being fired from Barnes & Noble at Christmas (or was it Borders?), then she was bitching about refusing to “whore herself” out to a temp agency like her mother wanted her to do, and then was pulling out that defeatist attitude about a job at Godiva.
IIRC, in one thread (the ‘whoring herself out to a temp agency’ thread), she had the attitude that going back to school wouldn’t accomplish anything at all. :rolleyes:
Apparently, she only goes to the mall to look for jobs. There are other places to look for jobs, you know, IDBB. The mall is a careeer wasteland. Get the hell outta the mall!
As Zette said, even a job cashiering at Wal-Mart would be better, or a job as a cashier at a grocery store. I’ve heard they make pretty good money. And if they’re union, you’d have some good benefits.
Just curious… how many jobs have you had since Christmas?
BiblioCat–FYI…One. I got let go from B&N just after New Year’s. I was OUT of work from then until mid-Feb when I got hired PT at Godiva and then left Godiva in early Mar for a FT job at Sonic because out of the probably 20 or so apps I’d filled out either online or in person, NOBODY had bothered to call me back. I am still waiting for SOMEBODY ANYBODY to call me back from SOMEWHERE. I’ve filled out apps both online and in person for everything from secretarial work to scut work like Sonic but nobody is calling me back.
Why? I know why. My resume (if you can call 8 years of retail and fastfood work) sucks. Nobody wants me. I am virtually USELESS to everybody it seems so I’m taking what I’ve been given and trying not to get fucking fired over it.
My god (or in my case,goddess) people. There aren’t a whole lot of opportunities out there for someone who’s done ONLY retail and fast food as I have and has no higher education. There is NOTHING out there.NOTHING! Especially where I live. There’s a lot of retail but not a whole lot else and I don’t really get a choice, now do I? The mall is probably my BEST opportunity for a job that’ll keep me afloat.
Somebody (I think it was BiblioCat) suggested I go back to school. Yeah? Where the hell am I gonna get the money for that, I ask? Not to mention the time (unless your days are longer than mine)? A full-time job plus keeping a decent house takes up just about all the time I’ve got. I don’t have time for school and no use for it anyway. I’m not interested in anything enough to get a degree in it anyway. What would I major in?
I…don’t know what else to say. I know the above was written in anger and probably shouldn’t be posted but will anyway because I have to let you know what’s on my mind.
Oh for cryin’ out loud. I’m graduating college in 4 weeks and it’s taken me 7 years. Why you ask? *Because I’ve worked full time the entire time I’ve been in college. * I’ve paid my own tuiton and everything else including car, rent, food, ect. Actually, at my job now, about 50% of my coworkers are also in school. They all work full time. Obviously, it’s not impossible. Quit making excuses. And there’s no such thing as not being able to afford college. It’s called “financial aid” :rolleyes:
And are you ever going to respond to my, Canvasshoes or MandaJo’s posts, or are you going to continue to stick your fingers in your ears and sing “la la la, I can’t hear you!”?
And usually people decide what they want to pursue while they’re in school. Having a full on plan isn’t a requirement for admission. Especially for community college.
I realize school isn’t for everyone, but the reasons you disregarded it for are pathetic.
I had a great message which addressed each of your questions IDBB.
Look, I underSTAND that you are afraid, and that that is what’s causing a lot of your “yeahbut, I can’t” attitudes.
Yes, you can. It is possible, millions of people a year go to school AND work AND have to pay for it, AND have to keep house, parent etc etc.
You have what I think of as an “all or nothing” attitude. You either can’t do it at all, or you have to start out at the TOP (and that ain’t gonna happen, everyone has to start at the bottom).
THIS is free. Go to your local college, make an appointment with a career advisor. Tell her/him all the fears you’ve expressed to us here (I can’t afford it, I don’t know what I’d major in, how can I work too, etc etc).
Take ONE little baby step.
And yes, we DO care. That’s why we keep trying to help. Now, help YOURSELF by taking that first step.
Quit worrrying about it all at once, take it ONE step at a time. Look, my offer of one on one help stands, email me, come to my advice community, I’ll take you by the hand each step if need be. But GIRL? You have GOT to do that first deep breath and Okay, I can DO this all by your lonesome.
Yes, it was me that suggested school in the other thread. You had said that school “wouldn’t accomplish anything” and I was shocked that anyone would say that.
I left an abusive marriage and suddenly became a single parent. I was lucky enough to be able to move back home with my mother, but I had to work full-time, pay for day-care, pay off debts of my ex-husband’s, make car payments and pay for insurance, food and everything that goes with day-to-day living except rent. I went back to school part-time, 2 or 3 classes at a time. It was hard, but I did it.
Do what Canvas Shoes recommended. She has great advice. Go see a career counselor or advisor at a local college.
What would you major in? I have no idea. As I suggested in that other thread, you need to take some aptitude tests. The results could point you in a whole new direction.
Fast food is a dead end.
Everyone here has their heart in the right place, and has given excellent and useful advice. MandaJo, alice_in_wonderland, CanvasShoes, Bibliocat, Wabbit, and others have all said the same thing.
But you know…I don’t think it matters. After reading over some of the other threads she’s started, I don’t think IDDB wants good advice. I don’t think she wants a better job, or more spare time, or gentler soap, or whatever it is she’s bitching about today. I think she just wants attention. And not just any attention- she wants pity. She wants everyone to come in here and agree with her about how hard her life is, and how unfair it is, and how she struggles and struggles, with the patience of a saint, and she wants us all to give “cyber hugs” and say nice things, and shake our heads over what a cold, cruel world it is for her.
I’ve come to that conclusion too, ratty, and I’m glad others chimed in about the school thing, I was afraid I’d be flamed for “being too harsh.” It really is ridiculous though, I was thinking about it on my way to a meeting today, through 1 abusive relationship (which left me penniless), 1 short stint of being homeless, god only knows how many jobs (all full time, if not I had multiple part time jobs), 1 very bad car accident and other “bumps in the road” I always managed to stay in school. And I’ve met a number of people who’s stories make mine look like a walk in the park. I don’t think IDBB gets that it’s really an insult to alot of people when she gives the lame ass excuses that she does. :mad:
Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding - I think we’ve got a WINNER!!! Well said!
And yes, lezlers, her lame ass excuses and “sixteen year old” whining and kvetching and poor, pathetic “don’t you feel sorry for meeeee” attitude IS an insult to a lot of people. Just reading what you’ve been through, and knowing what I and many other dopers have been through - it just pisses me off to no end that we have to continually validate her bullshit.
Good point Ratty, and for what it’s worth, there’s really nothing wrong with wanting attention either. The way IDBB (and IDBB, I apologize for third person again), is trying to get attention is another thing I addressed.
It sounds like her life is devoid of enough attention of the sort she needs. And pity could very well be what she is looking for. But again, SDMB is not primarily a “social” board. Were she to turn her need for that sort of attention to the appropriate forum, she could get all the ego strokes and daily attention she could possibly want.
Also, the ironic thing is that IDBB is going after the “soggy potato chip” when, with a little work, she could have a nice new crispy bag all to herself.
In other words, she could GET all the attention, “awwwws” cyber (and likely IRL) hugs, etc by simply paying her dues, (like the rest of us), sucking it up and entering into real life.
She needs pity because her life sucks (my gosh, working at the fast food hell that HER life sounds like?). Well DUH, of course one is going to feel life has passed them by. The answer, and maybe we didn’t make this clear, is NOT to go running to a quick “pity fix” but to fix things within HERSELF, so that she doesn’t feel the need for pity, and so that with a changed life, she can feel proud of herself and her accomplishments (as well as have people around her feel proud of her too).
But, IDBB, as you pointed out, is more interested in the quick fix, the “awww too bad IDBBs,” because the long run would take too much work.
IDBB, you asked “what did school ever do for anyone”?
Shoot, I can’t imagine, for the life of me, why you would prefer working at a nasty fast food place, under constant fear of being fired even from that dead end job to having a fun and rewarding career.
What school does for people is to give them a reason to feel GOOD about going to work, to look forward to it.
Coming in here, and getting your short quick “cyber pity” hugs isn’t going to fill the void in you.
And FWIW? What you’re going through isn’t weird, or horrible. It’s a fairly common stage (you’re 23 right?) for a young person to go through. That of being uncertain of who they are and what they “want to be when they grow-up”.
Heck, some of us still don’t know.
But like “Rush” sings…"…if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice".
The longer you decide to live in career limbo-land, and make no moves for yourself, to better yourself, the longer you will spend not really having that deep down satisfaction that comes from knowing that you are being and acheiving your best.
I know from whence I speak, I was a “late bloomer” too.
And as for the “school’s too time consuming”?
I was 29 when I started, lived in a tiny trailer with WOOD heat (and though someone split the wood, I still had to chop kindling and keep the damn thing going).
I worked three part time jobs, went to school through the JTPA program (check it out, there’s also the Youth Employment Services), got grants, raised a daughter, got pregnant my last semester (NOT fun) and volunteered as a General Education Tutor for people trying to get their GEDs.
And as Biblio said, I was also in an abusive relationship (thankfully not physical though), but the guy split wood, and that was the SOLE contribution he made while I was working, schooling, parenting etc. during grueling 20 hour days.
Anyway, Ratty is right, it’s up to you. There is a better path, and quite a well lit and wide one too. You have to choose to take it.
I feel bad everytime I read your lengthy and spot-on posts. You do have the paitence of a saint. I feel bad because if her past actions are any indication, IDBB won’t even respond any more to this thread, because it’s no longer giving her what she needs: pure undeserved attention and pity. I don’t believe she has any intentions of working to better herself and her situation because it’s just “too much work.” It’s become obvious that she’s no longer going to recieve justification and validation for her inaction, and therefore, she’s got no reason to participate. Am I right IDBB? Are you going to do what you’ve done in all of your past threads and run away, or are you going to be an adult, a woman, and adress these posts?
