My worst one happened when I was about 5 or so. I was on my front porch, playing with a pill bug (roly poly) with one hand and eating popcorn with the other.
I got my hands confused. Same amount of crunch, totally different flavor.
This really should have been titled “Gross bug stories” instead. Oops.
My only contribution to this thread is that your username reminded me of the Calvin & Hobbest strip where Susie is saying a whole bunch of stuff to Calvin and he casually responds with the question if bugs ever fly in her mouth from her talking so much.
EDIT: I’d search for said strip but my internal power cells are low and effectively searching the internet requires far more cognitive abilities than I can power right now.
And you would think with your username you would have been the thread winner!
Shit.
Like I said, if this had been posted several hours ago I might have been able to realize that I had a gold mine of humorous opportunities at my fingertips.
Alas, wasted potential. 
Okay I got one!
So this one time I was covered in bees!
In my sleep deprived state this is probably a lot more hilarious than to people that have gotten normal amounts of sleep.
Sorry about killing your thread. I feel bad enough about it as it is and now JoseB went and started a similar thread with more success.
:(:(
Aren’t all of them?
I used to inspect rural public water wells for the state. Some of them, in deepest, darkest Alabama are still sights to behold, as you may well imagine. One amounted to little more than a large open tank with a greenhouse built over it, and a single rickety door (water quality was well above state standard, though. Go fig.) Anyhow, I reached for the door, which had no knob and was held shut by a length of string. I had to grab the edge to open it. Suddenly, I felt and heard a kind of pop in the vicinity of my hand.
I looked at the door and was momentarily confused by the sight of eight huge legs sticking out from under my palm, and what seemed like hundreds of tiny spiderlings running up my arm and into my shirt sleeve.
I had squashed a wolf spider with her freshly-hatched brood astride her back.
Bleeeeeeech. I have an extremely high tolerance for icky critters, but that one was too damn much even for me.
Good Christ. I would cry so much, you can’t even imagine. Stuff of nightmares, Ogre, stuff of nightmares.
I didn’t find it particularly gross, but others disagreed a bit: Wow, That’s A Lot Of Maggots
Ogre’s story, on the other hand, will keep me awake for the next 3-5 weeks <shudder>.
Poor hatchlings. 
