He goes by many names.
Black spheroid of the undersink with a thousand young.
The nameless dread
Etc.
*I know I’m mixing my mythos.
A story from my bachelor days… (The Earth was still cooling in places)
I washed my dishes in the sink, and used a rubber drip tray on the counter with a dish rack on it.
One day, a hot August day, I noticed a sickly sweet smell coming from "somewhere " in the kitchen. I looked everywhere, and finally found the culprit.
Under the dishtray, was this wierd, gel, with streaks of white and yellow orange running through it. I happened to know a biologist studying mycology and called her over to see this fungal specimen.
When she saw it she shrieked in delight… apparently I had grown a slime mold!
Wiki link Slime mold - Wikipedia
I let her take a few samples, and then got out the bleach…
Regards
FML
At least four dead mousies (the managers had put down bait and then sealed things up). Two stuck to the floor, on either side of the the stove, and at least two dead in the broiler tray.
My first introduction to my new apartment manager was getting him to scrape dead mice out of the stove.
Why did I not notice the smell, you ask? I tend to let dishes…erm, sit. And mice aren’t very big. And I don’t spend a lot of time at home between school and work.
The first time I used the oven afterwards…smoky and foul!
In my mom’s house, her cupboard used to hold dozens of packets of dry goods. Usually exotic grains or teas she had opened, tasted once, and never used again.
All of these packets had little webs in them. When you moved the contents around, they would stick to one corner or form odd lumps, because of the sticky silk from some insect. The insec obviously had flown in, had raised insect babies, (proved by the odd empty maggot skins) and those had flown again.
What remained in my moms cupboard was packets of herbal tea, flour, pudding powder and other stuff, that had been reduced to old nesting material for maggots.
I was so glad when I could move out of that house to college.
A totally different story: in a friends garden house, in the attic, we found a mummified brown rat. It looked something like this.. My friend was grossed out and wanted to throw the thing out. But I convinced him to call the local history museum. They were thrilled with the rat mummie, and put it on display in their museum. Apparently, as rats usually live near water, rat mummies are quite rare. 
Oh man, I’m so glad some of you have such bad stories! (Makes me feel slightly better about my own icky story.)
A few years ago, I had cooked a big pot of chili for Thanksgiving. Yes, chili. I’m not the greatest cook - barely passable, really - and my family loves chili far more than turkey and stuffing. Plus, it’s easy to make, and relatively cheap, so we decided to forgo the regular Turkey Day dinner and do chili. Leftovers are a big staple in our house, so I made a huge pot full of the stuff, about three gallons worth. The day after Thanksgiving, we ran out of cheese and crackers; everyone knows that you can’t have chili without adding enouh cheese and crackers that it’s possible to eat the stuff with a fork! So I rearranged the fridge, sliding the chili pot to the back, to allow room for new groceries (including the neccessary cheese.)
You can all see where this is going, right?
We had some unexpected bills come up, and were reduced to only buying the groceries that were absolutely needed. No cheese. By the time we could afford the luxury of cheese again, we’d totally forgotten about the chili. Oh, sure. We could see it there in the back of the fridge, but our eyes had been trained to ignore it, so we never really saw it. For an entire year, we continued not seeing the chili pot, and the only reason we eventually saw it was that I wanted to make chili. Hey, anybody know where my chili pot is? I haven’t seen it… realization dawns on our faces Oh. Oh, no. Oh HELL no! With much trepidation, we peered into the fridge. There sat the chili pot, smugly beaming its triumph at us. “Ha, I’ll teach you all to forget about me! Just wait till you get me open.”
I can’t even begin to describe the yuck that was inside. Gray and black and a shade of green that’d scare Cthulu into shitting his eldritch pants. God, it was bad. all webby and gunky, and it had some bubbles that looked like they contained the Ebola virus’s big bad cousin. Amazingly, there wasn’t much smell at all. I guess we caught the germs napping or somesuch. Either way, we weren’t about to give them the chance to wake up and escape.
I sealed that pot inside two trash bags, and took it straight to the dumpster. Haven’t cooked chili since.
Was making something that need me to boil some rice. We had a sealing platic rice bin. I boil the water, reach into the bin, throw in a couple of handfuls, go away. Come back a few minutes later.
Hmm. That foam looks curiously… insecty. Some small black specks. A lot of small black angular specks.
Open rice bin. I’m greeted with an entire bin full of little tiny beetles.
Throw out bin, throw out rice, scrub hand fifty times.
Ick.
Just remembered another one!
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away (Finland, if you must)…
I used to eat this sweet puffed rice cereal for breakfast (Smacks, IIRC), and remember several occasions where I found little black spots floating and, sometimes, squirming in my bowl. Sugar ants (those little black ones) apparently liked the sweet stuff too.
I’d just pick them out with my spoon and resume eating.
We keep a pretty clean kitchen, so I couldn’t figure out where all the fruit flies were coming from. I tore apart the pantry, even built “traps” to try to catch them. I was at wit’s end until our house-cleaner discovered a rotted beyond recognition black mess of a forgotten peach inside the insulated lunch bag I hadn’t used for several months. When she opened it, about a hundred of them swarmed out. The bag was—obviously—unsalvageable and went into the garbage can.
shiver
If you leave beans out, eventually they’ll start farting all by themselves.
Back when I was in college and was living in an apartment with a roommate, we used to have parties all the time. To make room for all the beer and mixers we would put “freezable” food from the fridge into the freezer. Then put it back to the fridge afterwards.
One day after a party, I looked in the fridge and saw a plastic half gallon jug of milk way in the back, behind some beer. I reached to pull it out, saw that it wasn’t opened and realized that it felt hard and oddly heavy. I asked my roommate why she had frozen the milk. She said she hadn’t with a :dubious: look on her face.
We go to the fridge to examine this “frozen” milk. Then I noticed the expiration date on the jug. It was almost 2 months past its expiration.
:eek: :eek: :eek:
It wasn’t frozen. It had turned to “cheese” in the jug and the plastic was kind of bloated.
We hauled that jug out of the apartment and to the dumpster like it was some sort of bio-hazard.
Heh - I was over at a friend’s place a few weeks ago and he (having a much better sense of smell than I) was standing in his kitchen sniffing at cupboards trying to identify the source of some bizarre smell. Imagine his surprise when he finally tracked it to a five pound bag of potatoes he’d tucked away and forgotten roughly six months before.
I was no help cleaning up, too busy laughing hysterically. 
Moldy strawberries, which looked perfectly fine and juicy two seconds ago.
I swear, your whole body shudders itself inside out. Ick.
My Og! You (OK, your husband and Katrina) created a Guilt God!