Grow a thick skin? Good idea! While I'm at it, I'll just grow taller too!

Hanging from a chin up bar doesn’t work, but you can get taller with certain stretches. Or at least you can keep your morning height for the rest of the day. To lock in your morning height, stretch before getting out of bed. Point your toes. Stretch until it hurts. Now stand up with your back to the wall, and bend backwards as far as you can. You will get better over time. If you would like further secrets of increasing height, send me a check or money order for $39.95.

Well, just remember, you are always right, and if someone insults you, they are wrong and shouldn’t be bothered with. Of course, this is how it works with me, you may be imperfect.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
–Elanor Roosevelt

You may end up taller after the spine grows in.


Now I kind of feel bad for laughing at this. :stuck_out_tongue:

In the same vein as the E. Roosevelt quote…

People can’t push your buttons if you don’t give them buttons to push.

So switch to Velcro, I guess.


Wow. Mangetout said this? Kindly, friendly Get Out his own self?

Very funny, of course. :smiley:


Them You should try to grow a thicker skin Zebra

Zebra You should try to grow a bullet proof vest.
Of course I didn’t say that out loud.

Why would you let your own sense of self-worth be determined by what other people think or say about you?

I don’t see how being ‘thin skinned’ is an excuse for letting someone else ruin your day.

We all have to deal with shit. We all get yelled at, mocked, made fun of, or told off. It happens. Does it mean that people hate us? Does it mean that we’re losers? Most of the time, no :smiley:

pizzabrat I think you’ll find that the less you worry about what people think of you the thicker your skin will be.

I understand where you’re coming from, because I used to be like that too. I would over-analyze things, conversations, trying to read into them what I thought the other person was thinking. When I realized that my feelings and my own happiness could not be constrained by how I was treated by others, I finally felt a sense of freedom.

Another poster said that no one can make you unhappy without your permission. I know that might not make a whole lot of sense to you right now, but it’s completely true. You have to make up your mind to be happy first. Make a conscious decision to not let anyone bother you today. Realize that no matter what people say or what you think they feel towards you, it doesn’t change who or what you are.

And I would also suggest doing a lot of soul searching and possibly seeking counseling. These kinds of issues are things that not everyone understands, but that you definitely need to work out in some way in order to be happy.

Good luck.

Sorry if I came accross as saying it was easy to grow a thicker skin.
It’s damn difficult. One reason for my just writing step1, is that is as far as I can get, and I havn’t got there yet :wink:
Cheers, Bippy

What Bippy and several others said. Some of us grow up with the confidence to have that “thick skin” and some of us don’t. We’re never quite sure that we have that ‘right to be here’, to quote the Desiderata, so we look to other people for reassurance. Unfortunately, that’s a really bad idea and will cause you endless misery throughout your life.

By taking others’ snarky or cruel comments to heart you are allowing them to control you. They are controlling your emotions, your opinion of them, and your opinion of yourself. A couple of problems with that: 1) You can’t expect anyone else to really care all that much how they affect you, as long as the outcome is beneficial to them; 2) Everyone is going to demand different things from you, and you can’t expect to please them all. You just end up being jerked around and feeling lost and confused.

And, like Bippy, I want to be clear that, although it sounds easy and sensible, it isn’t - it can be very hard to learn to live that way. I’m in therapy myself, partly to learn to do this; a good therapist/counseler can make a world of difference simply by affirming your right and your ability to do this.

The ‘control’ issue goes both ways. Just as you are the only person who can control yourself, so other people are fully responsible for the behaviors they choose. If someone says something unpleasant to or about you, don’t search yourself for whatever responsibility you think you have for giving them a reason to say that; they are totally responsible for what they think and say. Their thoughts and comments came from inside of them; you didn’t put them there.

I’m sure I could write a whole page about this and still not explain myself well, so instead I’ll recommend a couple of books that might be helpful: The Art of Rational Living, by Albert Ellis, Ph.D., and Robert A. Harper, Ph.D., and Choice Theory, by Dr. William Glasser.

Albert Ellis is the primary founder of Rational Emotive-Behavioral Therapy, or REBT; Dr. Glasser is a psychiatrist who developed what is called Reality Therapy. Both theories are based on cognitive-behavioral principals, and are very effective if you are willing to work at changing your life.

Oops, didn’t notice I’d climbed up on my soap-box - I’ll get down now.

Here’s a big hug to everyone else who has this problem - {{{{HUG}}}}.

I’m sorry for my wisecrack above Pizzabrat. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with being sensitive. Don’t grow a thick skin, turn your sensitivity to your advantage instead.

…I didn’t even get it until I reread it after your apology.