Growing up Atheist

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d like to ask the atheist Dopers on this board about your upbringing. More specifically, did your upbringing contribute to your atheism in any way? Were your parents hardcore, Bible-thumping shitheads who screamed at you that you were going to burn in hell if you didn’t fall to your knees and beg God for mercy NOW whenever you stole a cookie? Were they free-thinking, tolerant people who accepted your atheism? Were they devout believers who shit a brick when you told them you were atheist, but they’re OK with it now?

I’d especially like to here from David B on this one, since he seems to be the most well-spoken atheist on this board.

Thanks.

2

Well I grew up sort of generically Christian, until my mother was born again when I was about 8 and we became fundamentalists. To be honest, while I rejected almost all of the church’s stands on social issues, I’m not sure that I wouldn’t have become an atheist no matter what my religious upbringing was. I just don’t seem to be able to make that leap of faith required to believe in any sort of diety.

OTOH, I still find great comfort in listening to Hymns, particularly the ones talking about how great the Lord is and how secure it feels to know that he is looking after you. Although I can’t seem to sustain any sort of belief in God, I do imagine it must be very soothing for the people who can and do.

And I haven’t told my parents I’m an atheist. It would break my mother’s heart although I don’t think my father would care one way or the other. I just let my mother believe that I am a lasped Christian…it might seem dishonest to some, but what would be the point in telling her the truth? She’s not going to change her mind, and she’s not hurting anybody with her beliefs, so it would just hurt her feelings. I’m a non-proseylitizing atheist.

3

I don’t remember making a judgement about this and it never seemed like a choice. My parents (who are Quakers) decided early on that they would not lie to me about Santa. I just assumed that the “god” thing was just a another such story that other parents told their children. I know I had come to this position by age 4, since I upset a friend by telling her this.

4

David B., huh? I’m as big an atheist as HE is!

My parents—bless their little cotton socks!—never indoctrinated my sister or I into any religion. We celebrated Jewish holidays as historical events: they told us the history of what happened on Hannukah, Yom Kippur, etc., but we never went to Hebrew School and neither of us ever read a bible.

So when we became adults, my sister and I were left to make up our own minds: we looked at all the religions as mature grown-ups, with no baggage. Can’t speak for Sis, but I decided I didn’t need ANY religion in my life.

5

Atheist, but Raised Catholic…pretty moderate Catholic family. However, I was educated by the Jesuits and the Christian Brothers who encourage discussion/arguement and don’t condemn you for atheism. They truly believed it is something that teens do: question there beliefs.

But, I never “outgrew it”.

6

My mother was brought up as a Southern Baptist. She left the church as a young adult because she felt it was hypocritical. There was institutionalized racism going on, her parents and other adults in the church were blatantly racist, yet they were supposed to love everyone. In addition, my mom wasn’t allowed to socialize with members of other churches. She thought that was hypocritical, too.

My father was brought up as a Roman Catholic. He left the church when Vatican II began. He felt like the church was pandering or backing down on its beliefs.
As a child, I was sent to Sunday school but was not allowed to go to the church service. My parents wanted me to learn the history and stories, but made it clear that they didn’t approve of organized religion.

After some searching as a teenager, many religious services of different Christian sects and Judaism, I decided I agreed with my parents about organized religion. As I got older, read more and talked to a lot of people about different viewpoints, I’ve grown into my atheism. There are many religions that I think have extremely valuable viewpoints, if it wasn’t for the whole belief-in-God requirement.

My parents know, but it wasn’t a discussion that we had…we just talk about that sort of thing a lot. It doesn’t concern them.

Before anybody gets Dr. Laura on me and says, “If you bring your child up without one specific religion, she’ll end up with no religion,” I’d like to mention that my brother is an elder in his church and is the most devout person I’ve ever known. He embodies, to me, what Christianity is really supposed to be about.

7

rastahomie wrote:

You forgot the most obvious possibility:

My parents were atheists, too.

8

My dad’s an athiest; my mom’s a non-practicing Catholic. My three sisters and I weren’t brought up with any kind of religion (though we secularly celebrate Christmas and Easter) - I didn’t set foot in a church until I was twelve. Around that time I began asking questions and doing research on my own about religion and god, and wound up deciding I didn’t need any religion in my life, and gained a healthy disdain for organized religion in general. Of the four of us sibs, I’m the only athiest among us, but none of us are active churchgoers. One sister attends church ceremonies on major holidays with her daughters; one sister attempted to be active in the church but life got in the way; one sister is sort of on the fence - she wants to believe, I think.

I had public school teachers snipe at me when I said I was an athiest; some told me outright I was condemned to hell (I was 14!). For the most part being an athiest has been painless, but the occasional proselytizer has ruined an afternoon or two.

My 7-year-old son is being raised without religion, and this has proved more difficult than I anticipated. When the little girl next door told him that her father was in heaven, he replied that his mom thinks there is no heaven because there is no god. She ran crying to her mother. We haven’t seen those neighbors for a while. He also thinks it’s great that other people have to go to church on Sunday mornings while we stay at home and watch Cartoon Network. I have to agree with him there.

For now, all I can say to my son is, “This is what I believe, and these are the reasons why. Other people believe this, and these are the reasons why. When you are old enough to understand it, you can decide to believe what you want to believe, and I’ll not be upset; I’ll love you just the same.” At this stage, it’s natural for him to just adopt my beliefs as his own, and that’s where it stands, but I hope that as he gets older he’ll explore his options and decide what’s best for him. I feel very fortunate that my parents gave me that freedom.

9

Oooh, Evie, looks, class, style, and an atheist, too? sigh

My folks are pretty laid back - sincere, but not overbearing. Mom is fairly typical if moderate in her beliefs, from what I can tell. Dad is a curiosity. He doesn’t like to discuss his opinions. Growing up, we went to a Southern Baptist church, but it was more moderate than it sounds. This was before the big conservative swing. That has taken place in the last 20 yrs, and it chewed my church up a bit, the moderates and conservatives banging heads. My folks were in a special adult class that didn’t use the pre-prepared lesson plans from the SB convention, but rather chose their own reading materials and conducted discussion group on the work. It was very open-minded and self-study oriented. Actually, I attended that class several times in college.

I eventually had a discussion with my dad and he mentioned some of his beliefs. Turns out he’s an agnostic deist. Calls himself a christian, but I’m not sure how literal he is with the Jesus thing. That’s weird, given that he was a deacon in the church.

My folks encouraged thinking for ourselves. Sure there were growing pains, but they did let us question things. They encouraged religious participation, and we had some religious family customs, but as my siblings and I grew and began to doubt more, those customs faded and were replaced. Instead of us kids leading the prayer at holiday dinners, suddenly dad started doing it. Rather than cause a scene, one year he just took over. Our thanksgiving scheme similarly changed to thinking about the things we are grateful for and thanking each other. My dad actually encouraged a questioning view. I remember at age 9 wanting to be baptized, and his talking to me to make sure it was something meaningful and not just a copycat thing. I remember after a particularly energizing revival he suggested we think carefully and skeptically about the affair.

My doubts escalated in high school, and I started studying the bible. That’s what did it for me - the stuff in there proved that God was worthless. Then some informal philosophy and discussions with others. That, compared with my own personal history of praying to god and growing up, and none of it made sense any more. I became atheist.

My folks suspected I might be going that way for a while. My siblings were fairly similar. However, my brother got into new age stuff and now is a reverend. My sister is a laid-back non-religious person. She is skeptical of organized religion and god, but isn’t completely convinced there isn’t something out there.

I’m the hard-core. It kinda sucks - last time the whole family was together the topic came up, and I found myself alone and outnumbered by my brother and parents, my sister not sticking her head up. But I stuck my guns.

Have I bored you yet?

10

My parents are atheists. They didn’t actively steer me away from religion, indeed they took me to synagogue several times to expose me to our Jewish heritage, but with me they never concealed their atheism and their disdain for religion in general. I considered them (still consider them) pretty smart cookies and decided I would be atheist too. As I got older, I became more convinced that this was the correct decision. No religion I know of is compatible with, or necessary to, my beliefs and values.

11

My parents were completely areligious when I was very young. My father stayed that way; to this day I couldn’t tell you if he believes in any god, it’s simply something he’s never talked about and I’ve never asked about. My mother started getting somewhat religious when I was 6 or 7, though, for whatever reason. And I went with her to church at times. I hadn’t been baptised when I was born, but I was when I was 7, I think (might be a year off on the age either way).

I don’t remember what I thought when I initially went to church with her, if I believed in their god or what, but I don’t remember ever believing. I may have made a conscious choice not to believe, but if so I don’t remember it now. As far back as I can remember I didn’t believe because I saw no reason to do so. And when I got a bit older, I stopped going to church. My mother has never been one to push her beliefs onto others, so she was fine with that.

12

I grew up as the daughter of a Presbyterian minister. My family are devoted Christians, but hardly fundamentalist bible thumpers. My overall experience with the church was positive: I sang in the choir, I attended Sunday school and church camp and youth group.

The only thing that might have contributed to getting me ready to be an atheist was the fact that I got to observe the inner workings of several churches first hand: The feuds, the gossip, the powerplays. Somehow churches are magnets for people who have no responsibility or authority in their daily lives, but become petty dictators when put in charge of the bulletin or the coffee hour. My dad spent a couple of hours on his sermon a week and the rest of the time smoothing egos and fending off coups d’etat.

13

Raised Methodist.
But when even quite young I never really saw the difference between God and Santa Claus as a concept. So when I worked out the truth about Santa, I thought (to borrow from Hitchhiker’s Guide), “well, that about raps it up for God then”. I went to Sunday school and church until I left home, just because it was easier to go than to fight about it.

14

I’m not even sure what religion my parents are. Lutheran, probably. At least they were; my mom now goes to a Catholic church, ever since my older sister married a Catholic.

Anyway, I’ve only been to church maybe a dozen times in my life (and that’s including weddings). My mom read me the Noah story when I was young, and there was a children’s bible around the house she encouraged me to look through, but nothing in my family ever revolved around religion. The closest thing to worship was every Christmas when we’d read the story of Jesus’ birth from the Bible, and that was just more tradition than anything.

In retrospect, I never really did believe in God, although I didn’t realize that until I was 12 or 13. A few years later my family got an Internet-worthy computer, and I discovered the Internet Infidels website. This is where I learned most about atheism and related topics.

15

Raised in a Jewish family, but none of us are particularly religious. we do the bar and bat mitzvah thing, and gather for the Jewish holidays, but it’s really just a reason to celebrate and eat. I’m really turned off by organized religion. Whenever someone says they go to church or temple, I always inwardly cringe. Some of my friends joke that if I ever set foot inside a house of worship I would burst into flames.
Michi

16

Well my dad woulden’t talk to me about religion but i think hes a atheist, my mom acts like she believes in god but she doesent. So I grew up agonistic, but I guess you were talking about people who stayed atheist.

17

Wow, kferr may as well have been talking about me. (You, um, weren’t, were you? Ever see “Single White Female”? But I digress…) Raised Methodist (our church was pretty laid back), but always thought it sounded kind of fishy. It took me until about age 12 to get over the guilt of not believing, and just admit straight out that I was an atheist, although I kept going to church until I was 18 to make my mom happy.

18

I understand your beliefs, but laughed out loud when I read this and then looked again at your name :slight_smile:
seeing as my name is Adam and all, and I believe that God is our savior… :smiley:

19

Slight hijack here - can anybody come up with a link to a Gahan Wilson (in Playboy) cartoon from the eighties that shows the following: the setting is a cocktail party and God, Santa, and the Easter Bunny are standing together talking shop. No header, no caption. This cartoon in a single image defines my beliefs.

20

Similar to Amok, my father has never shown any outwardly signs of any religious beliefs one way or another, besides the ubiquitous “Jesus Christ!” when he hurts himself or something, so I couldn’t say. My mother on the other hand would I guess be an agnostic leaning towards some religious belief as she was discussing with me how there “had to be something out there”. I went to church once… besides school things (Public Primary and Private Secondary). They even got a real donkey for Easter this year… :slight_smile: