I think a lot of good will also come of me facing the sadness, and not distracting myself.
Besides I hate David Sedaris.
I am sorry for your loss.
Disclaimer: animals are not people, I get it.
I had to put my cat down about a year or so ago. I was cleaning the kitchen a few months ago and noticed some of his paw prints on the counter. I carefully wiped around them and refused to clean them up. I’m just not ready to erase all evidence of his existence yet. This is the same reason why I haven’t taken his scratching post down yet either (although I’m thinking about it because it looks awfully ratty). It’s always the little things that trigger you but look on those moments as getting a chance to cherish the love for a second.
The market is always a trigger for widows. The soup aisle did me in. I reached for the Campbells vegetable beef, as always, vile stuff that it is, and I wept.
I wish you peace.
I took care of my mother for the last 10 years of her life, after she took care of my father with Alzheimer’s. Then she died.
She was a huge fan of my photography. Every time I went anywhere I came home with lots of photos of things she’d never get to see herself. And it was such a joy for me, showing her where I’d been.
Even now, 8 years after her death, I sometimes take a really great photo and think to myself “Mom’s gonna love this one; I can’t wait to show it to her.”
Then I remember.
You can still talk to her. Tell her all the stuff you’ve been doing and feeling.