Student tosses guinea pig tied to a parachute from a dorm window.
No true doper could possibly pit this act of scientific discovery. I mean, a guinea pig’s essential nature is to be tossed from a university window tied to a home made parachute, isn’t it?
Authorities are investigating the rumor that he was aiming for Richard Gere’s butthole.
When my dad was in the National Guard in the early 1960’s, he served with an airborne unit that had a pet monkey as a mascot. The airborne guys decided if the monkey was going to be one of them, it needed to go all the way and earn its jump wings. So, they made a chute for it and took it on the jump.
Everything was going smoothly until the monkey looked up at it’s suspension lines and something in the monkey mind said climb and escape. The monkey climbed its lines and collapsed the canopy. After that things went poorly.