A friend of mine who has been playing guitar for decades told me I should be holding my pick differently. Does it matter really?
Yes.
What, specifically, did your friend want you to change? There’s lots to it, including the thickness of the pick, whether you’re strumming full chords or playing individual notes. Quick version - the thicker the pick, the looser you need to grip it for vigourous strumming. You may want to hold it in such a way as to slide the point of it across the string instead of using the flat side.
Thinner picks, you can strum by going straight up and down. In this case, the pick’s flexibility is what keeps the tone quality pretty.
I love the big stubby picks, 3mm of inflexible plastic, but the trick to using them is to grip the pick lightly so the pick can move as it brushes the string. If I grab that bugger too tight, it just sounds like I’m beating the shit out of my guitar.
Kids are in bed, so I can look this up and pass it on - Tuck Andress goes into an incredible depth of detail into everything about picking.
I just wanted to point out that if you’re holding the point of the pick so that it’s sticking out the front of your thumb, you’re doing it wrong.
That’s all I got. Le Ministre is probably one of the more knowledgeable/better skilled players on the board. I’m kind of a hack with an electric that chicks dig. 
short answer: it doesn’t matter how you do it so long as it’s good.
long answer: different materials, of different thicknesses, held in different ways produce different tones, and yield more and less control.
I am a hack
Not sure I have the time for all the geekery right now. Quick questions:
What type of playing do you want to focus on primarily?
- Strummy acoustic stuff - standard flatpick strumming
- Rockin’ electric stuff - blues-based, classic rock, what have you…
- Primarily lead stuff - shredding and tricks
- Moving between rhythm and lead work a lot, kinda like SRV, but not necessarily so bluesy
- Jazzy chords and rhythms
How heavy is your hand?
- light, precise picking
- heavy, dug-in picking
- no real picking - heavy strumming
- no real picking - lighter strumming
What is your main set up - type of guitar and string gauge?
We can figure things out from there.
Oh, and to answer your question: Ultimately, no, it doesn’t matter - as long as it is comfortable for you and you keep playing. But if you have certain styles you want to play but find difficult, then pick and pick-hand positioning is one of the first things you should re-assess…
ETA: I barely clicked on **Le Ministre’s **link to Tuck Andress’ page - I doubt I have much more to add - that guy is so beyond in terms of technique. See if that helps first then come back with questions…
Well, how do you currently hold your pick? This way? Some other way? Gripping it between your elbows or kneecaps is not recommended. 
Thanks for the replies.
The picture that squeegee links to is how my friend says I should be holding it.
Currently I’m holding it with the tips of my first finger and thumb, with the two fingers basically parallel. Think of the “okay” gesture, but with a flattened O instead of a round one.
Boy, did I ever read this thread wrong…let’s just say I though we were going to be talking about standing in front of a urinal.
So you pinch the pick between the tips of your thumb and finger? As opposed to laying your thumbpad against the side of your index finger and holding the pick that way?
Correct.
Okay - you have the Chop Stick Choice™*
- you are holding your pick in a way that helps with finesse, but can make strumming difficult, especially for non-jazz beginners. I am assuming that by holding it that way, in order to strum you have to lift your hand a bit off the strings and drop your wrist a bit - and when you strum, you don’t move your forearm up and down all that much - rather, it “swivels” as your hand moves. Is that right? If so, that is a classic jazz grip - I can’t recall what Tuck Andress calls it from that web page - great for precision chording and picking; not so much for big, open-chord strumming…
Do you want to do big, open-chord strumming? If so -
- try the grip I describe where you hold the pick against the side of your finger
- instead of the jazz swivel motion, let the strum come from the elbow and actually move your forearm up and down - kinda like hammering a nail. Your wrist will still swivel a bit, but overall, your wrist and hand move on the same plane as your moving forearm. This is a classic folk, rocky, cowboy-chord strum…
Neither is better - each is just well-suited to certain types of playing…
Does that help?
*that just popped into my head, because I have seen some folks hold chopsticks very precisely so they can pick up, say, grains of rice - they have more of a pinchy grip like you describe. Others pick up the bowl and frame the chopsticks to support, well, shoveling the food into their mouths - this is a more brute-force grip but is very efficient for what they are trying to do…some of the same trade-offs apply here…
The picture in squeegee’s link is what I’d go with. It will give you maximum control and flexibility in sound.
One other thing: Your wrist should be slightly curved. If you’re moving from your wrist, you’re making it do things that God never invented it to do. You want to rotate from the elbow, which is much more natural.
I didn’t notice that link - yeah, that is the “against the side of the finger” grip I have tried to describe…
And **tdn **- you are discussing the “standard open chord strum” I was trying to describe…
not much to add, but seconding the advice already given. It makes a huge difference and is something I stress with all my students.
I’m not the OP, so I hope it is OK to hop in.
What do you suggest for this mode; moving between rhythm and lead? Do I change my pick hold on-the-fly? Or is there a single technique I should use the whole time?
Except you’re describing changing the angle of the elbow instead of rotating it. Actually, both are handy depending on what needs doing. I also make a lot of micro motions with my fingers.
For me, one size fits all.
I’ve solved the whole problem by just playing pickless.
I learned to play without a pick, mostly because the first song I ever learned was “Stairway” – go figure – and I could never master the palm-the-pick technique for switching between picking and strumming. So I just said, to hell with the pick.
Last year when I started playing with the band I play with now, I re-picked up a pick, and I found it incredibly hindering. My feel for where the strings are went totally out the window. And while it did make the harder songs we play a little easier to play really loud, I still had the switching to picking and back again problem.
In the end, fuck it, I’ve decided that the big contusions under my fingernails from strumming too hard is cool … even if it does hurt like hell. Although, it is a totally different technique you have to teach yourself, especially if you’re going for screaming leads. Lindsey Buckingham and Mark Knopfler both manage it quite well, though.
I guess that’s the long way of saying to the OP, you should play to your strengths. If the way you hold your pick right now achieves what you want it to, and it’s comfortable for you … stick with it. On the other hand, if you feel your missing out on some technique or another, give your friend’s advice a shot. It just seems to me that sooner or later you’ll end up falling back to whatever works for you.
I basically agree with this - and I have moved, over the past few months, to a more hybrid approach (I really like the attack of a pick for harder rock and punk stuff). I don’t have a pattern or anything - I just kinda throw my fingers around and see what works. But it feels far more natural to me - whatever works…
**CaveMike **- well, what **tdn **says (“one size fits all” - i.e., maintain the same basic grip as you move from rhythm to lead stuff), but there is more to it than that. The biggest issue is where to grip the pick - with lead work, I want very little pick showing, so I can do pinch harmonics (pick the note then brush it with your thumbflesh to suppress the main note and bring out the harmonics - this is also referred to as “squealing” - metal players do it a LOT), and also so I can have better control if I am doing complex riffing (well…as complex as I am capable of ;)). With rhythm work, I want to be able to back off to a looser grip, like **Le Ministre **discussed up thread.
The bottom line is to find that weird sweet spot, where you are showing less pick, but you are able to lighten up your grip and really let the pick work with your strumming. So you focus on the toughest grip - the less pick you show, the harder it is to strum - while getting comfortable with that loose-hold approach for strumming. It’s a pain - like teaching a robot to pick up an egg without crushing it.
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check your string gauge - this is harder to do with lighter strings. if you are playing electric and don’t use .10’s or greater, consider switching to .10’s at least for a bit…
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I find a medium or heavy gauge pick works best - a light pick is really for strumming unless you flex it a lot in your grip to increase its rigidity
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as I play, I will move my thumb-and-index grip in or out to help me reveal or conceal a bit more pick while I strum or move to lead work…