Okay, flipper, wristwatch, belt. Up you a legwarmer.
But DB, leave the ballcap on.
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
looks suspiciously at her hand
Wait a sec…there aren’t supposed to be five aces in a standard deck, are there?
UNCLEBEER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THESE CARDS?
Shhhhh, just take their clothes. You won the hand.
That must be the deck I used to get my 150 bucks back from Omniscient.
I’m gonna go out back and vomit now. Then maybe I’ll shoot somethin’. Probably Coldfire’s Bumper-Dumper.
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Hmmm…the cards you used to win from Omni, huh? That would explain the 5 kings I had…I thought I was just seeing double again!
Up for another round, folks? You in, Sealemon? After all, you sure got a purty mouth… 
And is SanibelMan around here somewhere?
And where did my damn bottle of tequila go?
“Better people…better food…and better beer!”
-Neil Peart, Rush
Yeah, I’m in.
<looks at cards, takes a swig of the sunrise>
I’ll take two…
Ok, I’ll bet ya a left shoe.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Oops, sorry, Falcon. Here’s the tequila.
I bid a ski mask. What do you mean why do I have a ski mask? I hijacked a damn beer truck…
Hey, should the Queen of Hearts be naked? Where the hell’d you get this deck?
Thanks John…HEY! The bottle’s half empty! Who drank this? Oh well… ::taking another swig from the bottle::
I’ll see your ski mask and raise you…a vest.
And as for the cards…you DID say you wanted to lower your purity score!
“Better people…better food…and better beer!”
-Neil Peart, Rush
I think I’m too drunk to play poker. How’s about we just play strip High Card?
Strip high card? Ya just gotta love a chick who don’t need foreplay!
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
Big talk, coming from someone who’s got five aces.
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
What, you saying you chicken now, Flyp?
::leans over, finds bottle of Everclear:: You know, I bet this would light REAL well…
Sorry, Falc, but given my impending state of nudity, anything flammable is out of the question.
And why, pray tell, am I now holding a 2, a 3, a 4, a 5, and a 7?
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Beats me, Flyp. On a completely unrelated note, I now have 5 aces. Read 'em and weep.
Say, why is there a shaved-drunken-burnt cat on the deer’s head?
Somebody said they were talking about Trollope over here, and I just finished “Barchester Towers” and I’m dying to talk to somebody about it, and…
Hey, what are you…STOP that! What are all those naked people doing on a literary criticism thread? And what’s that smell? Is it the naked dead cat on the deer’s head? At least I think it’s dead…
Catrandom
If they can put a man on the moon, why can’t they put the rest of them? ah ha!
Eventually many a man comes to the realization that women are biologically superior because they can bear children. duh.
Hey Falcon! I left a bottle around here, someplace. I use it so I won’t have to run all the way to the can.
Help me find it, man ! I gotta take a leak again!
YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA!
Sorry…just had to step out and find some proper bandages for my hand. It’s looking a bit better today. Yesterday it was extra crispy, now it’s more like original recipe.
I stopped by the drive-thru beer store on the way back. Thanks to us, the owner just took that vacation to Hawaii he’s been dreaming of. Anyway, I brought more beer & Cheesy Poofs. And a bottle of 151. And matches.
Oh Flyp…you do look mighty cute under that toga!
BUUUUUUURPPPP, Hey, does anybody else’s tequila taste funny? This must be the good stuff, it really IS gold! (passes out again)
ROAD TRIP!!
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.