A fun thread, always.
I’ll start.
UncleBeer: No, thanks. I’ll just have coffee.
Rasa: I just ate SO much!
Monster104: I’m saving myself for marriage.
Esprix: I’d like to bang that chick six ways from Sunday
Manservant Hecubus: Why, that was very well thought out. Thank you!*
*[sub]Note: This sentence must be said without sarcasm.[/sub]
Maeglin: Nah. Give me a good broadaxe ANY day!
Ad_noctum: Guys, does this make my ass look fat?
Mnementh: Man. I’m getting fat. I’ll have another meatball sub.
Mauvaise: BEER ME!
Nymysys: I suck.
Zenster: Anyone know how to make meatloaf? Does it come in a package?
Hamadryad: {{{{{{{hardygrrl}}}}}}}
Mercutio: I lost my virginity!
Ad Noctum: I lost my virginity!
Demo: I masturbated with a shoehorn last night. (oops, that’s a LIKELY quotation)
Chronos: You know what, you’re right. 
jarbabyj: Eww! He’s German.
Stoid: Pornography is immoral and should be banned!
jarbabyj: Watch your language, potty-mouth.
manhattan: Michael Masterson is the best damned posted we ever had around here.
heembo: I’m taking the moderators on an all-expenses-paid tour of the Middle East.
Fenris: Come on folks. This is no laughing matter.
Ma Parrot: Boy, I’m really pleased with how the board’s been going
John Corrado: &%#!!! &^% you *#&^% get &%^%&^#!!!
Spider Woman: I HATE you, get out.
Euty: I know a homeless woman, but I am not going to help her or her 5 kids.
Ukelele Ike: Dude! Did anybody catch WWF last night? It RULED!
Eve: See it? I wrote an ARTICLE on it!
hardygrrl: Hey, would you guys shut up already? Wrestling sucks.
Scotticher: You’re all stupid pieces of shit. Leave me alone. I need a beer.
Alphagene: Would everybody please stop fighting? Can’t we all just get along?
Manservant Hecubus: I love kittens!
Jarbaby: Why, you goshdarned so-and-so.
Mnementh: No, I do not wish to discuss my ass.
[sub]hee![/sub]
Jeremey’s Evil Twin: I guess my biggest flaw is that I LOVE TOO MUCH.
DavidB: Those fundamentalists are absolutely right! How could I have been so blind?
manhattan: I’m glad you asked. Bong construction is actually very simple. The first thing you do is…
Milossarian: This administration is a failure! I can’t wait until we throw that moron Bush out of office.
Stoid: How can you say that, Milo? Bush is the greatest president we’ve ever had!
fatherjohn: I apologize for not responding sooner, but I had to take my Suburban in to be serviced. You have made many interesting points, and I realize now that I was completely wrong.
tiggeril: ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN BUNNIES ALREADY!
JoeyHemlock: LOVE you? Hell no, you guys suck.
Doobieous: Man, body art sucks. Anyone know a good laser removal place?
Tequila Mockingbird: No, I’ve never done that. I don’t think it’s even possible.
JDT: I’ve converted to Judaism! The mohel comes on Thursday!
My last post of the day, names shortened to save time, cut me some slack.
Uncle Ike: I’d rather be in Dixie Land.
Eve: I’ve met Mr. Right. I’m getting married next week.
Persphone: Get A Life!
Esprix: I’d rather not discuss gay issues if you please.
Zette: I have absolutely nothing to say on the matter.
Hama: Let’s start a flirt club! I’m the president.
Crunchy Frog: I hate newbies.
Shirley Ujest: I never shop at thrift stores.
Manny: I’m going to a anger control class.
Euty: Sex is way way over rated.
hardygrl: I’m having a sleep-over and Hama is the guest of honor.
Purplebear: You guys really suck.
OpalCat: I’ve converted to Christianity.
Ex-tank: Ban all guns immediately.
Fenris: I don’t have an opinion on that.
Anthracite: I feel really good about myself.
Grace: Piss off.
Shayna: It’s just a message board.
aha: No more sucking up.
Lynn: Of course you can screw up the boards, let me help.
Alphagene: Let me ask Lynn.
Uncle Beer: Lite beer please.
Coldy: Never touch the stuff myself.
Libetarian: I’m going Democrat.
Falcon: Men are such morons.
racinchick: NASCAR is for red-necks.
Dire Wolf: Women? Who needs them.
More later.
Doobieous: What the hell is Tagalog?
Rasa: Man, I’m calling in sick and blowing off work tomorrow.
zyzzyva: It’s a whole five blocks away! Can’t we just drive there?
Tygr: Woomun…good. You got real purty hair.
Manservant Hecubus: I couldn’t agree more. Please, continue.
SeaDiver: Mr. Cynical, you’re SO DAMN SEXY.
matt_mcl: If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!
moggy: Children give me such a headache. Can you imagine actually wanting to be around them?
Libertarian: Spirituality? Oh, please. What a bunch of hoo-ha.
Cecil Adams: I don’t post here enough. Here are all the details of my personal life, and click here to see a picture of me!