Okay, Chief, so you’re cold too. But can you lick your ear? And don’t get to lyin’, now; GBS monitors this board and she’ll be fully justified in requesting a demonstration.
::trips over Cristi, who is reclining, presumably (ahem!) in a swoon::
Oh, hiya, Keith. Yeah, why don’t you and the Chief toddle on off to the kitchen and blow up some stuff? And cover up the Yeti with the kilt on your way, willya? Those Mighty Mouse shorts he had on under the Armani are starting to bother me.
Englisher! Quit revealin’ the feckin’ secrets of Her Majesty’s Empire! Pull yerself together son! (Snatches kilt, and immediately runs out of weekly allotment of exclamation points.)
Excuse me? The Blue Ribbon? Well, it ain’t all that damned cold out there. BTW, here’s yer straitjacket back – seems I didn’t need it after all.
(Throws ribbon casually in air; cracks new Glenfiddich bottle.)
(Just for you Glee, I avoided saying "Tosses ribbon . . . ")
Dr. Watson
“Beauty is only the beginning of terror.”
Huh, whaaa?..Oh, Jim, it’s you and Penzias & Wilson. Sorry, got distracted for a minute. Cristi, pull your head out of the wallboard; be strong now. I know; it’s a damned waste of natural resources.
::sighs wistfully::
Let’s go go with Jim and Cronk here and we watch the Chief blow up the kitchen. It isn’t free-form ear licking, but a good explosion would be nice right about now, hmmmm?
::ambles out, chin on shoulder::
Now, c’mon! A few belts of Cuervo and you’ll be fine, just fine…
Hey, just got back from a naked, oily, pillow fight and I need FOOD! Where’s the pork rinds? Where’s the damn beer! And why hasn’t anyone warmed up ChiefScott? Get over here honey, you can share my robe… as long as you bring me a beer!
Oh, I just did a stupid thing… that pillow fight mesmerized me so that I poured honey all…well it was just stupid, cause now I got some feathers, extreporaneous lint and a bunch of Christian literature stuck all over me on the way back here…
Byz, I only got one year-old pack-O-chicharrones to my name, but if you put em in the microwave, it brings back the flavor that was lost.
Why, thank ye kindly fer the invite; I’d be pleased as a snake in St. Pat’s kitbag to help ye explode things . . . but are ye sure the Kitchen is the right . . .
Ye Gads woman! Tell me that sticky stuff ye've got drippin' from ya ain't what it appears ta be . . .
Englisher! Fetch yer wooden legged glassy eyed arse after me sword -- we've a maiden ta defend here!
An' wipe that drool off yer chin there woman, it ain't dignified.
Dr. Watson
“Me drivin’ instructor asked if I could make a U-turn. I said I could make its fecken’ eyes water.”
Scene
*
At an airport in Indianapolis, a tall youth is heading through the metal detector line. He wears a trench coat, black fedora and a small sign of the boar medallion; dark lenses are clipped across his glasses.
As he steps through the metal detector and his bags are x-rayed, alarms go off everywhere.
“Sir, do you have any metal on you?”
Yue Han opens his coat. Strapped all over him and hanging from the coat there are guns, dozens of tequila bottles and thousands of beer cans.
The airport security reaches for their weapons- but it’s all too fast for them. In the blink of an eye he snatches up his bag and blazes across the room. Bullets are fired at him. He turns at the door and stops them by holding out a hand.
Later, he appears on the plane. His seatmate asks why he’s headed to Salt Lake City. She is puzzled by the answer: “But what is the Guy Stuff thread?” . He gives her a wry smile and settles in for the flight.
He says: “Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Guy Stuff thread is. You have to see it for yourself.” *
Scene
*
At an airport in Indianapolis, a tall youth is heading through the metal detector line. He wears a trench coat, black fedora and a small sign of the boar medallion; dark lenses are clipped across his glasses.
As he steps through the metal detector and his bags are x-rayed, alarms go off everywhere.
“Sir, do you have any metal on you?”
Yue Han opens his coat. Strapped all over him and hanging from the coat there are guns, dozens of tequila bottles and thousands of beer cans.
The airport security reaches for their weapons- but it’s all too fast for them. In the blink of an eye he snatches up his bag and blazes across the room. Bullets are fired at him. He turns at the door and stops them by holding out a hand.
Later, he appears on the plane. His seatmate asks why he’s headed to Salt Lake City. She is puzzled by the answer: “But what is the Guy Stuff thread?” . He gives her a wry smile and settles in for the flight.
He says: “Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Guy Stuff thread is. You have to see it for yourself.” *