Uhh, let’s see…Frehley, Frehley. Nope, no Frehleys here. Me? Oh, allow me to introduce myself; I’m Dr. Felterbox. Dr. Howie Felterbox. Yes, I did write The Home Pap Smear. Thanks for remembering.
(And before anyone gets their bra in a twist, this is a GUY’S thread.)
And the problem with small furry animals
in corners is that, just occasionally,
one of them’s a mongoose.
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Wow! Hey everyone, look at Wally’s barf! It looks just like Howard Cosell!
:::multiple oohs, aaahs, and attaboys:::
::knock knock::
Hello, yes – my GOD what died in here? Could you step out, please? I’m Captain Candi Sweet of the Toledo Police Department. We dispatched two officers to this location three days ago, and haven’t heard from them since. Do you think . . . The back yard? Yes, I’ll check. No, thanks, I won’t go through the house, I’ll go out back.
Okay. Yes sir, that appears to be Officer Nookiewookie passed out by the barbeque with his shorts on his head. Do you know where the other officer might be? No? Well, could I ask you to look around for me? Thanks. No, I’ll just wait here. Oh, and please tell those two guys up there that they can argue about Pascal’s Wager all they want, but we’d like them dressed and off the roof.
Fake police officers–what will you guys think of next? Go ahead, pour another beer on them–those aren’t real cops.
No need to wait at the door, Captain Candi. Let me get you a drink, and I’ll show you the treehouse I built out back.
Say, you’re kinda cute for a cop. Are those handcuffs real?
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
Capt. Candi Sweet, huh?
Hey everybody, the stripper’s here…
Hey guys. I’ve just made the mistake of reading some of bj0rn’s old posts. And then I actually went to his website…and…and…uh…read it…I ran over here as fast as I could. Man, it smells GREAT in here!
Hey, Colfire, is that you in the barcalounge? Got any room? Could someone get me a beer? Or some gasoline? Jesus,that was horrible…I know, you coulda told me…Any tequila left?
Elelle, I believe there’s some tequila left in the mouth of that there deer’s head…
Uhm… no Officer… the other cop must have got away… he was the big hairy one wasn’t he ? Come to think of it guys, any of you seen Sqrl around the last few hours ?
*Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
Really? Thank murrfuffin’ god… What the hell??? Y’all been “measurin’ off” in there??? JEEEEZZUUS… I’m gonna go wake up Unca Beer in his waterbed… Unca? What up? Y’know, he looks awful cute with those bottlecaps stuck to his forehead…
:::coming through the front door:::
I had to go home and change my clothes…again!
There’s a hairless ferret or weasle up in the tree with something that looks like a human nose in its mouth…does that concern anyone?
…good god!..are those bullet holes in the ceiling?
Nah, they’re flame holes. Ask Sealemon.
Mmmmmmmmmmm slices of milk, my favourite ! Used to eat those for breakfast all the time when I still studied.
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
That’s not a ferret. It used to be a cat. Don’t worry about it. We’re gonna put it on the barbecue as soon as we can coax it down.
The bullet holes? Coldfire showing of his .32 Berretta. Tried to shoot down the chandelier.
Did you bring any tequila?
This space for rent.
Didn’t bring any tequila, but I found a bottle without a lable…it’s flammable so I figured ‘what the hell’…someone will drink it.
< finally waking up >
Oh, God. Don’t talk to me about flamable.
< limping >
Anybody got some salve?
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Ayesha!
C’Mere a minute…
Sannibel’s got no nuts. He wont let me shoot thish bheer bottle offa his head with my gun…Good shotgun, too…
Anyhoos, balance this bheer bottle on your tits, will you?
<font size =“5”> It’s Target Practice Time, Guys!!!</font>
YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA!
Shushellush…no fair cribbing linesh from th’ Columbush meeting…and that weashel didn’t have a noshe, it had a thumb…
Doesh anyone have any more vodka?
drinks straight from the bottle
Ooooh, target practish! I’m a crack shot!
Uh, Mike, could I have a handfull of those bottle rockets? I’m gonna go out in the backyard and play “Scuds and Weasels.”
Seale, I got this Tahitian Ungent here for ya…sniff sniff…hmmmmm…smell’s fruity. Mmmmm, tastes like mango Now & Laters, anyone wanna taste? Hey, I gotta idea, pass that 151…
Hey, Unc whats that up your sleeve? Is that an Ace? You cheatin’ bastard! Gimme that gun!
Oh, hello officer. I was…uh…just gonna give this back to him. Hey, easy, your hurting’ my arm. Come on Candi, can i call you that, make with the friskin’!
Hey, you guys aren’t eating breakfast on the dishes that were in the sink… are you?
I hope you rinsed them off first.
Uuuuuuuuurrrrgh…
Okay, I’m awake now. Where’s my underwear? Why isn’t my underwear on my body? Cripes.
I need a shower.
:::walks to bathroom, stepping over bodies:::
:::walks out of bathroom:::
Hey UncleBeer? Do you have a flamethrower? I need to take a shower, but there’s something very large and fungus-covered in the tub. Oh wait. Never mind. It’s Coldfire.