Skald I respectfully disagree. My experience has been quite the opposite of yours.
May I ask where you live, to whatever level of approximation you feel comfortable?
I live in Memphis, incidentally. Even before I was married, when I was dating a certain woman who had three young boys and I’d sometimes take the oldest one to the movies, nobody ever gave me any shit. Hell, I can recall carrying the littlest one on my shoulders and roughhousing with him in the park without getting shit.
Skald, were you nervously rubbing your flame thrower while this was going on? I want to make sure we are comparing apples to apples.
At my job, I occasionally have creepos on my bus. The only time I see people giving them “looks” is when they are genuinely harassing someone (verbally, sitting wayyyy to close, etc). If some ordinary guy is on the bus minding his own business, people will ignore him. He doesn’t suffer any indignity on behalf of his gender.
Evil!Skald has an absolute prohibition on harming children, a limited prohibition on harming women (they have to throw the first punch), and so would never have a flame-thrower in the presence of a child.
But we’re talking about the real me, not the IMHO me. I asked DocCathode where he lived because I was wondering if it was a regional thing.
Incubus’s remark does remind me of my own bus-riding days, when I was working retail. I can recall a female co-worker of mine–no, now that I think of it, two different ones–who made a point of sitting next to me while riding to work because I was both a known non-creepy quantity, and of a suitable … air … that my proximity would deter creeps. Though in both cases there was a racial component to their fears.
I live in Philadelphia. It’s hard to put my discomfort into words. I do notice suspicous looks, signals from parent to kid to keep away from me and that kind of thing.
Oh, it’s different if I bring a kid with me. When I went to playgrounds with my niece, everybody assumed I was her father and thus somehow not a threat.
:mad: For several years I was an advocate for abused men and men’s issues. I quit due to bullying from some feminists and general depression the issues caused me. I even recieved death threats – but I was not harassed in my university.
Now I live almost without a purpose.
My mother died when I was 11. My dad (with my grandma’s help) raised me and my two younger sisters. He and I had our issues, but he NEVER had any sexual contact with me, or showed any inclination towards doing so. He was, however, terrified that someone would accuse him of that kind of behavior.
I was a messed up girl, both because of my mom’s death and other social and mental health issues I was dealing with. I really needed professional help, but my dad convinced me that I should not seek it out, and if I was to talk to a counselor or social worker, I should give them as little information as possible. My dad was convinced that psychiatrists and such would fabricate accusations of sexual abuse. If I talked about any problems, however minor, that I was having at home, I believed that DCFS would come and remove us from the house and I would never see my sisters again. This attitude left me scared of all shrinks.
I think that this attitude among men does way more harm than good, and it certainly stopped me from getting the help I needed when I was a kid. As it was, I ended up getting kicked out of the house when I was 18 and I was a homeless drug addict for a while. Maybe if my dad hadn’t been so paranoid, I could have gotten professional help in junior high and done a lot better.
Thanks for the kind words. Have you ever thought of articulating the specific elements of my discourse with which you take exception?
My issue is with intimidation, not with weaponry. A woman that feels intimidated by the presence of a male stranger, and is uncomfortable, but is willing to brandish a can of pepper spray and make him uncomfortable does not win my approval … that simple. A gun and a can of pepper spray have one thing in common: you only need to push a button (trigger), and hell is unleashed. If a nervous woman gets on my elevator and pulls out a pepper spray canister, I’m getting off at the next floor. That stuff goes off in the tight constraints of an elevator, it’s gonna ruin your whole day.
Remember those cartoon panels where there are six differences between one panel and the other? Well, in this panel you have a lady with her finger on the trigger of a pepper spray can at her side, face focused on the “bad man” who is on her elevator, ready to defend herself. In the other panel, you have a woman with her hand casually resting in her purse … might have a can of Mace, might have a .45 short slide semi-auto pistol. Whatever she has, she’s not pulling it out to threaten any innocent bystanders. Guys, which elevator do you want to ride ?
Illogical?
Okay, I have to come clean. Despite my protest that men should just take the stink-eye I’ve never actually been given it. Not once. Just today a strange woman walked away from her five year old as he cheerfully chatted about Super Mario with me. It made me a bit angry. She was completely out of sight down another aisle. Sure, I am exactly what I seem but what if I wasn’t? I spoke louder as I told him he should never let mom out of sight. She heard and called him over. I could tell by her voice she thought he was bothering me. She was what bothered me.
Also women pick me out of a crowd to defend them against irate men. Complete strangers. Out of a concert sized crowd. Then trust me enough to sleep in the same room with me because she had no other place. I’ve stepped between a husband and wife fight and had a knife pulled on me. I’ve stepped between a cop and the hippy he smacked on the back of the head with a billy club and lots lots more. I have tried to mellow in 30 years of marriage but I have a bit of a hero complex. Also I am only 5’ 7". This colors my response to every situation so perhaps I have less empathy for those I percieve in power than I should.
Nevertheless, “bullying from feminists” makes me giggle.
I have seen the damage men cause. I have had to reverse it patiently in a womans psyche. I can take a punch. Nothing beats steadfast. Also I have lost to a predator a young person I loved dearly. I see no reason to change where my sympathies lie. Whatever small indignities we men have to face it pales in comparison. That’s why I’m leaving this thread now. Perhaps there are some instances of true injustice and I just can’t see it do to a lifetime of my own experiences. I don’t know. I do know the whining is bothering me a little too much. That is a signal for me to walk away.
Yeah funny shit. One silly young man wanted some sort of closure why his two friends killed themselves, and why men are increasingly choosing suicide. Indeed, funny shit.
The women and men protesting in that video behaved abhorrently, but considering the reputation that Warren Farrell has I’m not at all surprised that they would strongly discourage anyone from seeking answers from someone who puts such anti-woman rhetoric out there. For anyone who doesn’t want to watch the protest video that Ibanez linked to, a young man attempts to attend a lecture by ex-feminist and frequent Reddit topic Warren Farrell and is bullied back by* male* and female protestors. Farrell has written several books decrying the women’s movement. He’s a polarizing figure for sure, and here are a few quotes which stir people up:
Farrell blames the higher rate of male suicides on women who force men into the warrior/hero archetype.
“Sexual harassment legislation is a male-only chastity belt. With women holding the key.”
“The powerful woman doesn’t feel the effect of her secretary’s miniskirt power, cleavage power and flirtation power. Men do.”
"If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal ‘no’ is committing date rape, then a woman who says `no’ with her verbal language but ‘yes’ with her body language is committing date fraud. And a woman who continues to be sexual even after she says ‘no’ is committing date lying”
“What are we really doing when we ignore the role of sexual attraction? We are ignoring our responsibility as a culture for reinforcing men’s addiction to female sexual beauty and then depriving men of what we’ve helped addict them to.”
You mean like pushing the idea that it’s OK to falsely accuse a man of being a rapist or child molester? Or the idea that it’s OK to assault or kill men and they shouldn’t be allowed to defend themselves? Or phoning in death threats to female mathematicians for being “gender traitors”; I recall that one from the 80s.
Feminists are just as capable of being bullies as anyone else. Nor have the feminists inclined that way ever restricted their bullying to men.
A Straight Statistics page on the government’s attempts to push rape hysteria.
Oh my god, who let you in our super top secret feminist world domination meeting?
I take it you’ve never been sexually assaulted. If you had been-- with the frequency many of us women have-- you’d understand why it’s not exactly hysteria. But go ahead, keep hand waving away our concerns because it makes you uncomfortable.
I understand that sexual assault fear of sexual assault is very real for women. But false accusations and the fear of false accusations is real for us.
I respect women’s right to be feminist. Unfortunately many men (and some women) were harassed, slandered, and defamed for being MRA. Several have received death threats – I have not since 2000.
MRA?
If that stands for what I think it stands for, you certainly shouldn’t receive death threats for it. On the other hand, I also don’t understand why you’d be defamed for it: that sounds redundant.
Please elaborate.
Really? Lol! “But men are super afraid of being falsely accused!” Yeah. Women are more afraid of being actually raped.
Yeah, but if you’re falsely accused, she can rape you by proxy in prison. So nyahh!