Guys and creepiness

In My Humble Opinion
421

How is that snark relevant to the idea that feminists want women to have the right to make false accusations? I mean I assume you’d agree that there are such things as feminist organisations, and that they advocate against prosecuting false accusers in case it deters actual rape victims, at least that’s the official reason.

Time also pulished this:

“Catherine Comins, assistant dean of student life at Vassar, also sees some value in this loose use of ‘rape.’ She says angry victims of various forms of sexual intimidation cry rape to regain their sense of power. ‘To use the word carefully would be to be careful for the sake of the violator, and the survivors don’t care a hoot about him.’ Comins argues that men who are unjustly accused can sometimes gain from the experience. ‘They have a lot of pain, but it is not a pain that I would necessarily have spared them. I think it ideally initiates a process of self-exploration. ‘How do I see women?’ ‘If I didn’t violate her, could I have?’ ‘Do I have the potential to do to her what they say I did?’ Those are good questions.’”

Obviously that ties in with the Straight Statistics page and the fraudulent 1 in 6/5/4/3 statistic. The first is about encouraging more rape claims and pretending they’re less likely than other crimes to result in a conviction. The second is based on including not just rape victims and victims of attempted rape but victims of gropings, unwanted kissings and the like and even “rape victims” who specifically deny having been raped.

I’ve never been sexually assaulted, but I have statistics. You seem to be arguing that women are emotional and irrational creatures whose fear are unconnected to reality, and yet at least as valid as reality.

422

It’s a men’s issue, in that men are much more likely to be assaulted by a stranger.

423

What is the relative severity of the average male-victim assault, compared to the severity of the average female-victim assault? Use whatever quantifiable metric is useful, say, prison sentence for conviction.

424

Which is more severe, a woman being raped but having little other physical harm, or a man being attacked and receiving several broken bones?

I doubt there’s a clear cut answer to that, as it will depend on the personalities of the victims.

425

“Feminists”? A feminist. And as a feminist I can tell you that anyone I know would be horrified by catherine Comins’ quoted statement there.

Our fears aren’t unconnected to reality. Are you relying on some stats that say that sexual assault is rare? IME, it’s extremely common, to the point that I’d be surprised to meet someone who hadn’t at least been groped. I’m sure they exist, but they’ll be in a minority.

As for myself, I’ve been raped twice, once by a stranger, and grabbed at so many times I don’t even count them, though the scariest two times are memorable. It would be “unconnected to reality” for me not to be careful.

426

Thanks to slut shaming, I’d gamble that there are far more unreported rapes than false accusations. For every “fraud” stat you can dig up, I can counter with a “date rapes unreported” stat. This could drag on for days.

427

I don’t think its possible or helpful to ask which is worse, a physical assault can go from being pushed to being killed, a sexual assault can go from an unwanted brush of the hand to outright rape with all stages inbetween.

And as Steophan says what one person might shrug off might traumatise another.

I think the most horrifying aspect of that quote is that the person who said it is in an apparently respected position of authority.

Her lack of empathy for males is also deeply disturbing.

428

It really is disturbing. She’s in charge of the men at her college, not just the women, and if I were one of her male students I’d be worried that she’d support any accusations against me even if she knew them to be false. Don’t suppose she ever got into trouble for her comments? They’re pretty much on a par with “she was asking for it.”

429

I’d do what I do in every situation where I’ve suffered the misfortune of being a victim of prejudice; I’d continue to act completely normal.

The onus isn’t on me to alter my behavior, provided it’s non-threatening, otherwise I’m just being intimidated. Running a parallel, I’ve had similar acts occur due to race, nationality, and at the time, age-- three very familiar triggers for prejudice, and it’s a very dehumanizing experience, no matter the attempted justification.

Ultimately, with the person on the elevator, it’s unknown as to why she took the action she did, but to an innocent person going about their business, it’s offensive and abnormal. It’s something she’ll hopefully deal with, for her own peace of mind, and if she was related in some way to my place of work, I’d have an equal amount of concern and pity. Certainly not a comfortable way to live.

I’ve suffered one example, as has a friend of mine, more recently, at his place of work. Though very upsetting in the moment, it’s more obviously an issue with ignorant people, as opposed to a focused and conscious threat from the opposite gender. As such, “lasting harm” is partially a figurative idea, because I do consider it a learning experience. However, it doesn’t represent “lasting harm” in the sense that I let it dictate my life. This has been true of most traumatic situations I’ve experienced, though everyone is different and has their own coping mechanisms. Given time, you can successfully return to as normal a life as possible, or you can live in a constant state of anxiety-- with either approach, there is responsibility to be had.

430

Really makes you wonder why this isn’t a two way street regarding women.
There’s plenty of molestation cases involving women and as far as we understand, psychologically, things of this nature are about power, not sexual relations.

Women are plenty capable of being seduced by power as men are, thus I suspect there are far more perverted women out there than we allow ourselves to admit.

431

Do you recall any of those well enough to supply a cite?

432

That is quite the elaborate strawman you’ve constructed, friend.

433

From that one:

And I agree. Sure, he had a bad moment, but the lady might have prevented something bad. It’s nice she cared.

As a father of three daughters I had to do certain things. If I was driving a friend of my daughter’s home, my child had to go along. Iron clad rule. Sometimes I got the “oh Dad” complaint from a kid who had something better to do, but there were never any exceptions. (I also insisted on seat belts in the days before that was a law.)

434

By choice, I’m sure.

435

I worked in a female dominated occupation, and there is no doubt that women can be as abusive verbally as men can be physically.
I’m sure that some of them push it too far because they know that no man will take the ultimate step of physical retaliation with them.

436

In a related situation, I used to live in nurses accomodation that was segregated by gender ( visit the opposite sex and be evicted ). Long story short, the hospital board ordered that visits by the opposite sex be allowed in rooms, but the manager refused to allow it. When I challenged her, she told me that it was because “all men are rapists”! Amazingly, she was only in her 30s.
Anyway, I went back to the board, and they specifically ordered her to allow visiting.
One consequence of the new policy was that the person that ran the building resigned because she couldn’t accept it, though I never had a personal problem with her before.

437

Were I able to return to my 18 year old body knowing what I know now, I’d be celibate too.
Pursuing women has made me poor and mostly miserable. They are just not worth it, IMO.
However, I have nothing against platonic relationships, of which I have had many long lasting and happy ones.

438

Except attacking women gets you a longer sentence in and of itself. But you can look at higher categories of offence, like murder compared to assault, or assault with a deadly weapon compared to common assault. You’ll see there’s at least as large a gender divide in the more serious crimes, with murder victims being 77% male in the US.

Irrelevant, we weren’t talking about reported rapes but the results of feminist research into rape. These were people who said they hadn’t been raped, but were labelled that way by the researchers, not just people who may have been raped and not reported it to the police.

439

The single most dangerous person to a child is it’s own mother. Obviously that’s mostly for violent rather than sexual victimisation, although women certainly commit their fair share of that too. It’s also worse to be victimised by a woman, as it’s less likely to be treated as “legitimate” rape, and statistics show most young men claiming sexual abuse by women are disbelieved by the first person they tell, even when that person is a professional.

There are also other categories of victim where women are the most likely perpetrators: the elderly, other peoples children, their partners and spouses.

Rachel Maddow was on the Daily show the other day. talking about the voting rights act, and how time had seen the concerns of underserved populations addressed as democracy expanded, like minorities no longer being (as often) illegally denied the right to vote. But then she started talking about the VAWA, as if violence against women hadn’t already been the least popular form of violence efore that, and as if the VAWA wasn’t just rying to offer even further protection to the group least in need.

The fact is that women get too much protection from crime. In California VAWA money and money for DV shelters is for the use of women only, and specifically prohibits the protection of men, even though men are just as likely to be victims of DV and make up 40% or more of spousal homicides. That money is actively preventing the protection of actual victims of violence, in the name of helping women.

Feminists like to talk about Patriarchy theory. That’s whence the idea that “all men are rapists”, the idea is that rape keeps women down and subservient and suchlike and even those individual men who don’t rape benefit from that. Nonsense, of course. The truth is that feminists do that very thing. Hype up the threat of rape, pretend violence is a major threat to women, and so on. USe the conviction rate for crimes mostly effecting men, but the attrition rate for rape to make it look like rapists can get expect to get off scot-free. Publish stats showing “rape victims” who claim not to have been raped, so women think there’s a rapist down every dark alley. Totally ignore the rape of men in prison, the sexual abuse of boys and the 10-25% of normal rapes against men, and especially any female perpetrators, because it doesn’t fit the narrative. Publish the fact that a large percentage of murders of women are by their spouses, try to ignore that this is a result of women very rarely being murdered y anyone else, and not an epidemic of killer husbands. And suchlike. All to maintain their own power, income and cultural relevance, and to push their agenda against men.

440

Blindboyard. Please post the source of your statistics. I’ve watched plenty of MRA videos and read their blogs. They quote these figures all the time and the best I’ve ever heard is something impossible to find like “a study done in Peru.”

I’m not saying your statistics are false, I’m not saying you’re wrong. They may very well be legitimate, current statistics that aren’t as well publicized as they should be. Like it or not, the “feminist” statistics are the accepted facts and very easy to find sources for, so unfortunately the burden of proof is on you to provide your sources.

Men are the victims of non-sexual violent crime more than women are easily found by a cursory look into FBI or DOJ crime statistics, so I don’t have a pressing need for those. Specifically, I really want to see the source of the analysis that criticizes studies about rape victims for including those that do not consider themselves raped, and the exact sources of statistics that include “male prison rape, sexual abuse of boys, and 10-25% of normal rapes against men” and show it to be much different from the “conventional” statistics (and I am aware of the FBI’s unbelievably shitty definition of rape – I assume this is not the sole source of the problem and goes beyond that). A simple news article or MRA blog post will not do unless it either has a link to or a direct, complete citation of the study, poll, or journal that the statistics come from.

I’m willing to believe you if you can do this, but I’m getting unbelievably annoyed by my inability to find the sources of commonly quoted statistics and studies from MRA folks. (It’s partially a peeve of mine, my mom will always say things like “but all the studies say…” to support some weird implausible advice she heard and I tend to be incredulous until I know exactly what “studies” these actually are).