Based on what I’ve heard & read, if I had to choose between getting hit in the balls or going through labor for 18 hours, I’d choose getting hit in the balls.
But it would take me awhile to decide.
In veterinary school I was palpating cow ovaries per rectum when someone asked how tender a cow’s ovaries were. The prof said that all the men should place their free hand down their pants. Then, he suggested we not squeeze any harder with the cow hand then we would feel comfortable squeezing with the other.
Let me see if I’ve got this right: You hit yourself in the nads with a flaming metal rod? Excuse me while I curl up under my desk and whimper at the thought. :eek:
Shagnasty’s description has the benefit of being succinct. I would, however, expand it to: Imagine having a migraine, getting punched in the nose, and taking a jab to the solar plexus all at once. Now move all of those sensations down to the groin.
So the non-nutted may understand, this requires the simultaneous administration of several sensations that human beings share:
- striking the nerve of a bad tooth
- having the breath knocked out
- an uncontrollable need to puke
Combine these three and place them in the groin area. The desire to become unconscious can accompany, but it isn’t a requirement.
Oh, and it isn’t even funny. Regardless of how America’s Funniest Videos would lead you to think. I wince with every one of those depictions.
This sounds about right. Except right when the sharp initial pain leaves, it’s this long-lasting dull pain. Don’t even THINK about walking with dignity afterwards.
The feeling starts surging to the stomach as soon as impact occurs. It’s not momentary, but it WILL get there. The worse the blow to the junk, the worse the feeling of nausea.
See, there’s a camaraderie with men and their balls. You can see your worst enemy take a shot to the pills from this girl, and you’ll go over to him and console him, agree that the girl is a complete bitch, and buy him a beer. Afterwards, you’re back to hating each other (sometimes), but for that small while, you’re brothers-in-arms.
How two of my friends spent New Years Eve: Google Video
I do not condone this action, nor am I involved in this ongoing “game.”
S’kinda funny though, when it ain’t you.
An extremely accurate description.
However, it is funny, as long as it’s someone else. (That’s the definition of comedy)
Some women might have a good idea of what it feels like.
I base that on the fact that, when I was walloped by the sudden onset of a kidney stone while driving to work, it felt just like I had been punted in the nards.
So, some of them might now.
Interesting side note: Every woman I’ve talked to that has both given birth and passed a kidney stone has said kidney stone pain is worse. One description was, "Labor pain comes and goes. Kidney stone pain takes up residence and dwells.
“might now” = “might know”
I spel gud.
First, theres the iniial extreme pain in your groin, which is bad enough, as everything’s extra-sensitive there.
But it’s followed by a growing sense of painfull fullness, as if someone is trying to inflate your urinary bladder. It goes out in all directions from inside there. Combine this with a sense of nausea and I think you have it.
I’m a woman, of course, so I can’t possibly know… but that time a few weeks ago when I was at the Pacific Science Center and I tried to get out of the simulator, and I rammed by knee very, very hard into a chunk of metal as I was exiting… the pain exploded immediately, and felt hot and warm and spreading even though I wasn’t bleeding at all, I saw stars, felt sick and dizzy, tears sprung to my eyes and thankfully I was still sitting down, else I’d have certainly fallen, I gasped and couldn’t speak, because it felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. Ever so slowly, my husband helped me hobble to a bench, where all I could do was groan and whimper. The pain even made my chest feel tight.I wanted to just throw my head back and really howl, but I couldn’t. Not just because we were in a public place, but I just didn’t have the power left in me.
When I described this to my husband, he thought for a moment, then said, “That’s probably the closest you could ever feel to a man getting hit in the nuts.”
So now when I see a man on tv getting hit in the junk, I don’t laugh. Instead, I wince and touch my knee in some vague sort of empathy.
If that’s how it feels, then, to quote my husband, “That ain’t no joke.”
I once had a faulty extension cord fall apart in my hands so that, for a moment, I was holding on to a pure 120 volts AC power.
Replace the electric shock with a sudden burst of pain from the most blinding headache you’ve ever suffered, but keep the long-term tingling and feeling of being not-quite-right.
Oh, and even though you know your legs still work, somehow you can’t make them work.
Yes, good analogy. A hard smack on the kneecap by something solid is of a similar order of sensation.
I once played cricket as wicketkeeper (“catcher”) without wearing a box (“cup”). I will never do so again. :eek: Seriously, what kind of idiot stands around waiting for a solid object weighing a third of a pound to come hurtling towards him at groin height, confident in the expectation he won’t miss one all afternoon? :smack:
Like getting hit in the breasts, but worse.
At a surfing spot called Sandy’s in Hawaii, a popular surfer got hit by his surfboard-a two for one shot. Of all the possible injuries, other than drowning, of course, this was one of the most dreaded. No surfer out there, except the rank amateur, laughed as the ambulance took him away. 
So I have a question. If you took a hit to the balls while in deep water, would drowning be a likely consequence? From some the descriptions here, it doesn’t sound like you could easily swim after that.
You know that Digger the dermatophite commercial where he lifts the big toenails and hops in? Well I had that happen to my big toe nail because I was wearing sandles and lifting heavy luggage and it just ripped my toenail up like a car hood. Ball pain is almost as bad as that. And the afterpain is very similar to the toe pain too but again not as intense.
The afterpain I would have described as being in shock but after reading the wikipedia on that I’m not so sure I understand what shock is anymore.
Thankfully it has been a very long time since I was hit there.
Yes. Chances are, a person could drown. I can completely see that hapening. I’ll bet the surfer got a hold of the board and kinda stayed immobile for a little bit until the legs were up and kickin’.
Oh lord. I think I need to sit down more…{puts head between legs, tries to breathe}
I once whacked my knee in a kinda similar way, ana - it was like I was trying to remove my kneecap with the side of my desk. I greyed out for a while (I’m a fainter, so that’s what I do with injuries) with the pain of it. If that’s at all similar to a groin injury, you guys all have my deepest, sincerest sympathy.
Funny thing though is if you’re really amped up and total adrenoline, you can almost pretend it didn’t happen. For example, in a nasty brawl or something. Oh yes, when the adrenoline wears down and the fight/flight reflex is done then ya you’re probably gonna be curled up with the dry heaves