Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety: other women cloy
The appetites they feed: but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies; for vilest things
Become themselves in her: that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish.
(Antony and Cleopatra - Shakespeare).
I’m in my early thirties, and I don’t think age matters as much as the ability to carry it off until you are truly elderly. I’ve seen women in their 60s that have turned my head, and I’ve seen women in their 40s who made me think “gross! too old!”
A lot of this seems to do with skin care more than anything else.
Hey, Calgary’s not so bad! Just ask my husband - he was born here. 
You’re right about the ballroom dancing classes - always overloaded with women, never enough guys. It pisses me off to no end when I sign up with my husband, then I spend half of every class standing and watching because of the partner-switching.
The classes is a good idea, but not dancing classes. Maybe a mechanics class or something - maybe audit some classes and see where all the guys are. 
At 41, I don’t think 54 is too old. I recently ran into a woman I had sex with in college, and I was surprised to realize that she must be in her early 60s by now. If I were single and she were willing, I’d still have sex with her.
I guess it depends upon where you are. In San Jose where I was dancing, there was a very large ballroom dancing community. 100 - 200 people or more would show up every Friday night. At any rate, find something that is popular in your particular area and join in that. Hiking club? Bowling? etc.
J.
I think 55 is pushing it for me. I’m 32.
I welcome all the suggestions and embrace all the 50-somethings-can-be-hot comments. I belong to a hiking club; it’s almost all women and couples, so it’s not really an opportunity to meet men, but I enjoy it anyway. How I wish there WERE a mechanics class or something similar around here! I don’t know what happened to all those classes you used to be able to take through the local extension services–you know, mechanics, ceramics, flower-arranging (though I don’t suppose those last two would attract TOO many guys)–but there sure aren’t any around here. There are a few college class offered, but my experience is that there are vastly more women than men there, too. (Also, some of them are taught by my ex, which wouldn’t work at all.:() Maybe women take classes to meet people and men just…don’t.
Where do men go when they want to meet women? Or don’t they?
Ten years either way would be my limit. I’m in my late forties. So late thirties or late fifties is fine.
When I was 25, it was different. Thirty-five to forty was fine. No one under 20.
I have to agree with Benjamin Franklin:
“They don’t yell, they don’t tell, and they’re grateful as Hell.”
Ok, I don’t care if they yell.
Post menopausal, basically. Psychologically, something about the age of 50 is kind of the line where women become "old’ to me, but I’m not far away from that myself. I’m 45. My wife is 42. She’s got a few good years left. I’m assuming (or at least hoping), that my perspective will change as I age. When I was 20, I would have thought 40 was too old.
For God’s sake, man, please don’t ever told your wife she has a “few good years” left.
Christ no. I’m not complete idiot.
As a 53-year-old woman this thread is encouraging.
No interest in being a cougar here…I dated a man in his 30s for a while a couple of years ago but I kept feeling like his mother (I could have been. Yikes.) As I’ve aged, I find that my taste in men has aged along with me…I’ve met some very hot men in their 50s and 60s.
My current man-friend is just a few months older than me, it works.
A tip for men who are interested in meeting Women of a Certain Age - get involved in a dog sport. Agility, flyball, competitive obedience, like that. If that’s your bag. Almost all women, and mostly relatively physically fit and economically stable.
Most people have heard the saying, “Men get dignified, women just get old.” Is that fair? Of course not.
It seems most men prefer younger women, many of them preferring *unrealistically *younger women. I had a woman friend tell me that at age 50 women become invisible to men.
I turned 50 a week or so ago. I am divorced. I dated recently a woman that was 58, although she was the oldest woman I’ve ever dated. (fwiw, she is/was very attractive and took very good care of herself)
My natural preference would probably be 40-55, and I would at least consider outside of that range.
Absolutely there are guys out there who will find you attractive. This is without doubt.
I would actually turn it around and ask you what kind of guys you are dating? It may well be it is YOU who decide to pass by guys who would be in to you in favor of someone who is wrong for you.
I often see (and am guilty of this myself) people who keep getting attracted to the wrong sort of guy/gal for them. So, the person thinks all guys/gals are losers when the problem really lies within them.
Personally I have dated women 12 years my senior and 12 years younger (nice symmetry but accidental). Also dated many women in between those ranges. Personally age matters little to me. Personality counts for most of it. Yes, physical attraction is an important part but “mature” women can be hot too. I’d jump Helen Mirren given the chance. I also think Joan Allen is hot (among others). Neither of those two, as far as I am aware, submit to plastic surgery.
In short, your age should not be an impediment in and of itself. Consider who you are dating instead of worrying that you are not hot enough.
I’ll read no further. This speaks for me.
I’ve noticed since my mid-thirties (I’m now 60) that regardless of “objective” standards of beauty, I find women who are more or less my age to be the most attractive. I can be struck dumb by how gorgeous an 18 year old girl/woman might be, but the “attractiveness” just isn’t there. There’s much more to the equation than just appearances.
For what it’s worth I should mention that “attractiveness” isn’t something I feel any sense of wishing I could act upon. I’m happily married 41 years. Just saying that for me, the sexy women are about my age.
.
Oh, it’s not that I’m being picky–I don’t even get the CHANCE to get picky. It’s just that it sometimes seems…well, take the total number of single men over, say, 45 (arbitrary number), subtract those who clearly have major issues (like the 60-year-old guy I met via OLD who spent the entire date ranting about either his three ex-wives and the 24-year-old who was the mother of his toddler or about how the U.S. government is full of commies), and then subtract the guys who are not interested in women over, say 40, and if you get a negative number, so do I. I’m pretty sure men of a certain age have similar experiences. I guess after a certain point, most of the decent guys and women are married.
I’d love to date someone who’s reasonably bright and kind. I don’t care about how much he makes, though I don’t think I’d want to end an evening with a nightcap in his Dumpster. I figure it would probably be a good thing if he were physically active, as I am and it would increase stuff we could do together. I do think there needs to be a certain spark, but I’ve never been attracted to conventionally handsome men, so my standards are fairly broad. Oh, and having spent way too long married to someone with major mental health issues, I’d want to avoid that. Is that too stringent?
BTW, did you see Helen Mirren topped the list of sexiest female celebrities in some recent poll? 2,000 people. Can’t recall whose poll, but HM beat out JLo and Heidi Klum, among others. So you’re the only one who finds her attractive!
This is close.
I’m 46. I generally like high 30’s to low 40’s.
Iwould do Helen Mirren in a hartbeat.
Last month I saw Nina Hartley in person, 50+. Oh, yes! Allison Janney, you betcha!
So my ‘generally like’ stays between a few years younger to a few years older than me.
Sounds like normal dating woes.
Most men and women of any age could tell a similar story. If you are a 20 year-old woman then cut out any guy over 30. Find one who has a job. Find one who is not an ass. Find one who does not want to carouse with his buddies non-stop. Find one who puts the seat down.
And so on.
Men could say something similar.
It is unfortunately difficult to find someone you click with. If it was easy almost any schmo would do.
When you are young you are willing to go on numerous dates and realize most will amount to nothing. As you get older you are less tolerant of wading through numerous dates to find one that works (generally speaking).
While I think it is possible to be more discerning on what dates you choose to accept in the end it is a numbers game.
Also, if you know any guys you are interested in then by all means pursue that guy. Don’t wait for him to ask you out. Go ahead and ask him out. It need not be a “date” but invite him out for a drink or coffee or whatever.
I feel for you. I really do. I am 44 and I relate to your situation.
Just gotta keep at it and instead of being bummed try to have fun. Even a guy who doesn’t work out can still be a fun time out. If nothing else free dinner! 
I’m 59 and one of the things I like about my wife is that when I mention the Cuban Missile Crisis or the Mickey Mouse Club or Helen Gurley Brown, she not only knows what I’m talking about, but she can put it in the proper context.
If I were in a dating situation, I’d probably be attracted to a 50-year old. But 40? I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to explain to her that I was in college before she was born.
And the young ones’ voices are way too high-pitched for me.
If a man your age automatically passes you over for someone 10+ years younger, he’s not looking for a companion, he’s looking for a mirror he can look into and see a younger him look back.